hi... my names meghan and I'm 14. my dad just told me TODAY that he was married before he married my mom. He was 23 at the time. I am really shocked, and I'm upset that this was kept a secret from me for soo long! My older sister & brother knew, so do all my relatives... how could they not tell me? I wish they were less secretive and now I'm really upset because I can't picture my dad with anyone else
2007-03-06 06:56:26 · 11 answers · asked by megs_trusso 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Sometimes, people make really big mistakes, and they end up with the wrong people. Thank goodness that your Dad realized that and was able to find your mom and have a great family that includes you and your sibs! I guess he shouldn't have been secretive, but really it doesn't affect you.
2007-03-06 07:01:24 · answer #1 · answered by just browsin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure there is all sorts of past happenings in your family that not everyone is proud of. You may never hear it all. Just as I'm sure there may be secrets about you that your dad doesn't know. I'm sure he was trying to shelter you from pain by not telling you.
Obviously it wasn't a good part of his life, and a part he wasn't proud of because he didn't stay with this woman.
Kids will probably never understand everything that went on in their parents lives..nor should they try to figure it out.
It is his past, and it wasn't relevent to your life or your family..so this is probably why you didn't hear about it.
Please don't give him a hard time over this. chances are he had numerous serious girlfriends too before he married and then remarried. Just as you will have a few boyfriends before you marry the perfect guy.
They didn't tell you because they knew you would react the way you are reacting.
Just try and calm down and forgive your father for not telling you. It really has nothing to do with your life at all, so don't let strange thoughts interfere with your life and relationship with him.
Good luck with this.
2007-03-06 07:03:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, the only thing I can tell you is to hang in there, and just talk to your mom and dad. Let them know how you feel, because it is very important. Always remember this: When you get older, you realize that you have made some mistakes on the way, and there is no turning back. I'm 27, and believe me, there are some things that I would love to change, but things are the way they are for a reason, and we wish we knew why, but God works in mysterious ways. Hang in there, and talk to your parents, but don't argue with them. They are still your parents and they love you!
2007-03-06 07:06:56 · answer #3 · answered by Manda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes its hard for adults to bring things like that up to kids- especially their own! Sometimes the subject just doesnt come up at all and sometimes they want to make sure your ready for it before they tell you. The important thing is- he is with your mom now and has a wonderful family and kids! He loves you and the rest of you with all his heart and thats what is important. I know it feels weird to you- but its a fact of life- all people have dated someone other than their hubbies and wives before they married them! Alot have been married 2 or 3 times! Dont hold it against them too much but let them know it hurt your feelings not to be told- that u r 14 now and can handle it. Let them know you r mature enough to handle any kind of strange news! Good luck to u
2007-03-06 08:31:18 · answer #4 · answered by cstinkerbell6969 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im 15 but i was 13 when my father left. thats when i was told that he had a 24 (26 now) y/o son from another women living in az. i never met him but my dad walked out on his 7 kids to be with my half brothers mom. after my older brother died he wanted a first born son so he left us. just like that. i never met his son but im still weird out thinking that i have a "long lost" brother. i live in ny and hes in az, i don't talk to my dad even when he does come around so i will probably not be able to ever met my step brother
2007-03-06 11:46:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens. If they didn't have children, what does it matter? He probably had girlfriends before he got married as well. He also probably got drunk, and broke a few very minor laws, and argued with his parents.
Parents are people too, and they also used to be young once. They are not so different to you, just a bit older.
2007-03-06 07:01:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of people are in second marriages - he probably figured to wait until you were older to tell you. Parents have secrets too.
2007-03-07 02:12:17 · answer #7 · answered by bad_bob_69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hang in there, and remember that he's married to your mom now and he has you kids with her. I understand it hurts to find out now, but hopefully you can accept that your father made a big mistake and forgive him
2007-03-06 07:16:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my dad has been married so many times i cant count them, and boo hoo he didnt tell u he was married before, my dad had a daughter before me that he gave up for adoption!!! my mom had to tell me.
2007-03-06 12:07:31 · answer #9 · answered by Gloom and Doom™ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old were your siblings when they were told? maybe they just wanted to wait until you were old enough to understand
2007-03-10 04:17:47 · answer #10 · answered by weasleywanabe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋