Is he cheating on me?

Question

Have been with my guy for 10yrs, and for a while our sex life is non. He travels to another town to visit his dad and does not come home till 6am. I check his texts which i know is so wrong but i seen a message from his "dads mobile" from a girl stating something and at the end said luv x. Last wkend he said i was boring and a drama queen, when i asked him what that was all about he said he was really drunk, i am still waiting on sorry. Tonight he has came in had his dinner, shower and now back at his dads about a message. I know i should be talking to him about this but he just huffs and does not look at me. I want to know what you's think. Is he cheating or has this relationship just ran its course!

Answer 1

Sorry, but absolutely yes. Time to throw in the towel.

Answer 2

Sounds fishy to me. Especially when the no sex is happening that is a big clue. Also, if he is getting more distant and irritated when u discuss it. There are several things u can do to gather more facts. I did some of this with my wife and I was able to stop it before it got too far. I would start monitoring his cell phone as u said u did with the txts. Then u can visit some cheating websites, these costs money tho. I remember seeing like a track on cell phones, they can use the cell towers to track a cell phone up to like 500 ft. Also, u can install a GPS in a vehicle, these can be rented for a month at a time. When u get the cell bill look at it closely and identify some numbers ur not familar with. There are websites also that allow u to put in cell numbers and get the name and address of the person that the cell is registered to. So there are several options out there. Also, a basic thing to do would be to get a hold of his dad. Good luck!!

Answer 3

Woman to woman -

Your man MAYBE cheating on you but then again, maybe not BUT would want you to think that he is. Could it be that he's looking for an easy way out?

Why it is that you need to know if he's cheating or not? Are you looking for a VALID reason to get out of the relationship? From what you've shared with us, it would seem that the relationship had gone south....sad, sad, sad - after 10 years...as you said, the relationship just probably has run its course.

I think you really should have THE TALK...whether you still have the feelings or not, it's only fair to everyone concerned that the air be cleared. Take the honesty route --- admit what your true feelings are. Don't take the finger-pointing route --- "you're a cheater, I'm out of here", that kind of negative stuff.

If it's worth saving, save it.....if he's worth keeping, keep him......
if it's time to close the chapter, close it....if it's good bye time,
say it - with civility, with honesty, with dignity.

Whatever you do, don't act in anger....stay cool! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 4

If after 10 years of being together, you can't express to him what's on your mind without being insulted or neglected, does really matter if he is cheating or not? While cheating is unacceptable in any relationship, it is not the cause for the decline of a relationship -- it's a symptom of larger issues. I also note that you state that you've been together for 10 years rather than "married for 10 years". If you're not married, you need to ask yourself "why not"? And if he were to ask you to marry him today, could you given the circumstances? Only you know your threshold. Before you talk to him, you need to have a good heart to heart conversation with yourself. Once you figure out what you can and will live with, then everything else will fall into place - as long as you take the time to make yourself responsible for your well being.

Answer 5

Well i hate 2 say it but i really think that he is, you know what u should do is be like why dont i go with u 2 see ur dad? if u can. and see what he says and if he makes up an excuse 2 not have u come well then u know he deffenetly is. Mabey you should just say it like it is talk 2 him tell him what ur feeling and mabey that u guys should take a break or somthing. U gotta let him know that ur noty just gonna be waitting 4 him 4ever u got a life 2 live and that ur not gonna spend it wit a man that cant care 4 u and be there 2 please u. My man is very well behaved he fine and gives pleases me in manny wayz. so just try it. well hope i helped. take care and hope things work out 4 the best!

Answer 6

Ok! I am not trying to be old fashioned, if you have been with a guy for ten years and he is not thinking of marrying you, he probably never will, so right now he is thinking of an escape route.

If you were in his shoes and have been with him for 10years will you have the guts to tell him you are no longer interested? NO! You will not, because 10 years is a long time.

You will probably act like he is behaving towards you right now, you will want to set him up so that he can catch you cheating, why? so that he can decide on his own to go away or just pick fights so that he can get angry and go away.

Trust me honey, when it comes to breaking up, many men are not man enough, so they cheat, pick fights so that you can call it off by yourself.

Then again honey to stay with someone that you know no longer wants you is self abuse and you can never be happy in that situation.

Look for a nice guy for yourself that wants to settle with you forever.

I wish you all the best.

Answer 7

well apparently you have trust issues however that is a moot point right now. The only way you will get this answer and stop the paranoia and the lack of trust that is apparently in your relationship sit down and talk to him. Don't come out with the "are you cheating on me" question cause that will put him on the defensive with accusations like "you don't trust me" ergo ask him if you two are ok and is there something on his mind. Don't accuse and don't look to deep into things because that will just make things worse in the long run.

Answer 8

Is there anyway he would let you go with him to his dads? I don't know what he is playing at treating you like this, you have got to talk to him.If you want to keep your man then fight for him. Arrange a romantic evening show him its you he wants and the grass is never greener on the other side. Its your call if you think the relationship is over then call it aday but really think hard about what you want. I know its wrong but could you follow him one night and see exactly where he is going.or get the number which is supposed to be his dads and phone it and see who answers, your braver than me i would be devastated I've been with my man for 10 years also. You have got to get to the bottom of this you are worth more than this. Hope everything works out for you . Good Luck x

Answer 9

In my opinion, the answer is Maybe..! Its certainly sounds very suspicious but only you know all the facts. It certainly sounds like he has very little if not no respect for u anymore. I think trust is a hugh part of a relationship and to be honest I used to read one of my ex's txts too. I found nothing in her phone but we eventually fizzled out. I know its hard to contimplate but u should really put some serious thought into what you are getting out of this relationship.. My guess is that u will find the light at the end of the tunnel but it wont contain your partner... Im sorry ur in this prediciment,,,, Best of luck.. x

Answer 10

He is either cheating or about to cheat. He is leaving you at home isn't he? He said you were boring? There's a big clue for you. Yes, it's ran it's course. Pack up and leave while he's gone. Don't wait around to be treated like crap anymore. Find you a real man who will find you interesting, tell you so, and stay home with you all night and show you the attention you deserve.

Answer 11

I don't blame you for thinking he is. BUT you both need to sit down and have a chat. You don't say how happy you are in this relationship. Do YOU think the relationship has run it's course? How recently has he started going to see his "dad"? There are a lot of questions only you know the answers to and there are a lot of questions you need to ask him. Try and sit him down and have a good chat about how you are feeling and why you are feeling like that. Expect to hear the worst though!

Good luck