I lost my fiance and best friend May 13, 2006. It was a sudden death and not expected. He was barely 39 years old and though he had some health problems we never expected to lose him. I thought I had dealt with the loss and even thought I was moving on but unfortunately lately i have realized otherwise. I have been waking up in the middle of the night crying for him and crying when I wake up in the morning. Nothing seems enjoyable anymore, I feel like I am going through the motions with no real purpose. My only purpose it seems are my kids, if not for them I think I would have already joined him. I can't talk about it with anyone in my family because they all assure me that he is with the Lord and I know that but that just doesn't give me any peace. I feel so lost without him, I hate it and I am just so sick of being here and not living, I even got involved with someone else but instead of making me feel like I have a new horizon, he exacerbates exactly what I have lost.
2007-03-06 05:54:11 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
It is not easy. I pray for you about this every night. You know I remember feeling like that when I first left my hubby, but after I got the cobwebs cleaned out I realized it was all fake. But the hurt still hurt as if it were real. You on the other hand, had something real and it was taken away too soon. I know it is SO hard to believe, but have faith that everything happens for a reason. Some day you will know why. Until then, just hang on to good memories, and live each day as he would have wanted you to.
God Bless you, hon, you are a wonderful friend, mother and person, hang in there and I'll continue to keep you and yours in my prayers.
Holy crap, both of us, serious, at once, its a miracle.
2007-03-06 06:02:13 · answer #1 · answered by You liked me crazy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please don't think I am being trite, you need to talk to someone. Join a support group maybe at church or at the local mental health org. Can you get in for 1 or 2 sessions with a shrink? I lost someone a very long time ago and the feelings are still here somedays. I think the what ifs are the worst. Try to be strong for the kids. They need you and they are hurting in their own ways. You will never replace him but maybe someday you will find a new love.
2007-03-06 06:03:10 · answer #2 · answered by Star of Florida 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it some more time. If you still feel the same way after a year from his death has passed, you should probably seek some type of grief counseling because you'll need help getting over it if you can't do it on your own. You probably shouldn't attempt to date while you're in this frame of mind. Concentrate on your children and live for them. You'll feel better before too long!
2007-03-06 06:00:24 · answer #3 · answered by stony1111 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The hurt of a lost loved one never goes away and sometimes it may ease but it's still there. We manage to hind it away when we have too, but when we're alone it finds its way back into our hearts and the hurt is there just as strong or maybe even stronger because we miss this person that we loved so dearly and would do anything to have them back in our life.
I will never tell a person that the hurt goes away and that your pain will ease, I can't sugar coat it for simply it is untrue. We just some how manage to move on.
2007-03-06 06:04:47 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. D. AKA Evil Woman 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My ex-wife cheated on me and left, and even though it wasn't near as hard as I am sure losing someone to death is, I know what you mean about feeling lost and alone. Just try to focus on positive things in your life, and stay close to the Lord. It takes time, but after a while you will move on. Not saying you'll ever forget him, cuz you won't, but you'll be able to cope with the loss and live life. He is waiting for you, but enjoy your time here. Best of luck!
2007-03-06 06:00:23 · answer #5 · answered by JC N 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You might get more sympathetic and honest anwers to this post in the family or psychology section.
I recommend seeing a professional though, or joining a local support group. Talking about what you're going thru with others who've also experienced loss can help.
2007-03-06 06:01:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The prayer and time remedy I know doesn't make it better, but sometimes its all we got.
The hurt is there and it will never totally go away until we are with the Lord where He promises to wipe away every tear.
Try finding a good support group if you can. Either at your church or another church. and remember :
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. " Proverbs 3:5 NLT
2007-03-06 06:03:44 · answer #7 · answered by No Trespassing 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are going through. My best friend's husband died on Valentine's Day a year ago. You must allow yourself time to grieve. Another relationship at this time is not fair to either of you. I suggest you see your doctor about a referral to a grief counselor. Also, there are lots of bereavement support groups which you could look into. Take care.
2007-03-06 06:01:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear foxy...that's tough, I don't know where I'd be without my wife. All I can assume is that it never stops, but I know that if I passed away I would want my wife to move on, because I rejoice in her happiness...and I'm sure your fiance felt the same way. You have a friend...among many that is here for you! :)
2007-03-06 05:58:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
You know that your first priority is your children.....focus on that. You have a wonderful support network of people who love you. Don't get over it, and don't forget what you loved about him in the first place. That is what makes you who you are today, and we all love that person!
2007-03-06 06:05:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋