Am I being to harsh?(read below)?

Question

my fiance and i have let his brother and his girlfriend come stay until they get settled they have moved from another province and he has found a job (i know great!!) anyways since they have been here they have made a mess out of my house. i work from 5 in the morning til 1 in the afternoon. when i go to bed the dishes from dinner are clean and i tidy the house before i go to bed. when i wake up it is a mess there are dirty ashtrays and empty bottles or glasses lying on the floor. they dont clean up after themselves and i am getting annoyed. i have asked over and over for them to tidy up after themselves but i have yet to see it done. i only have to deal with this for a month so do i freak out on them both or just let my house turn into a pigsty. i also have no privacy when i am working on my computer since the girlfriend tends to hover over my shoulder. i have resorted to hiding in my bedroom with the laptop! anybody have any suggestions about what i should do before i lose it?

i cant throw them out. they have nowhere else to go cause if they did believe me i would. my fiance works out of town so he doesnt have to deal with the mess..maybe i should kick his a**

they have one month to get working and find a place. my fiance has told them over the phone to help out but they still don't. another 25 days and they are gone...

my fiance works out of town and if he were home it would be different but since he cant quit his job to babysit his ungrateful brother i am stuck dealing with it.

my fiance works out of town and if he were home it would be different but since he cant quit his job to babysit his ungrateful brother i am stuck dealing with it.

i have decided that when i come home from work and there is a mess i am throwing it onto their bed and they can deal with the mess. (it will get their attention since they dont listen.) and it isnt my bed they are sleeping on they brought their own bed lol. thank you to all.

Answer 1

No, you are NOT being too harsh. In fact, you are very kind and considerate to let them move in. Your future brother-in-law and his girlfriend should be doing everything possible to show their appreciation to you. I don't care if they are staying two nights or two months, good lord, with the hours you work how dare they leave your house in a mess like that. Talk to your fiance first and make sure he's got your back. And then call them all in (make sure fiance is present) and tell them "obviously, you are welcome in my home but I cannot continue to keep up this pace. I'm not asking you to clean my house, only to pick up your own messes. Can I please have a little help in that area?" Look each one of them straight in the eye until you get a response. If they still continue with this, tell them it's time to leave. That is just plain disrespectful and unappreciative. And leave your laptop up where that nosy girlfriend can read some of the responses you'll get about this.

Answer 2

Try to keep your cool! I've dealt with this too and it's really hard not to blow up on them. Just explain to them that since they are guests, it would be polite for them to help out around the house. If they don't want to, then they should find another place to stay because your home is not a hotel with full maid service. Tell them that you are happy to divide the chores with them as they are not responsible for every mess, but they need to do their own share of things. You are a busy woman and you are too tired at the end of the day to keep up after two other people.
As for the girlfriend, when she hovers over yuor shoulder, just kindly tell her that you have some work to do and need to concentrate. Ask if she would hang out with you in a half hour or so (or however long you need).
If talking to them politely doesn't work, then they need to move on. You don't get to stay at someone elses house and be completely disrespectful. As the heads of the household, you and your fiance don't have to put up with that. As for your fiance, he should understand your side of things. You are going to be his new family in the future and so he should be ready and willing to stand up for you.

Answer 3

You and your man should have a heart-to heart, then face the other two and lay it on the line. Some people need a pretty strong wake-up call. Tell them you are stressed out due to working and coming home to a mess. Layout the rules and demand they follow them. And if they refuse, well, kick them out early or deal with it for a month - and never let them come back to stay again.

Answer 4

If you have any kind of financial leverage over them - hire a maid, and have them pay for it (like, take it out of their deposit, if they had given you one). If not - you only have a month to go. Just suck it up; it isn't worth having a blow-up fight over. Being that you have already talked to them, and they are disrespecting you completely - the only place left to go is to have a fight, which isn't gonna resolve anything, and will make you some enemies. There isn't much you can practically do unless you have something over them (which, I imagine, you don't). Just NEVER ever have them live in your house again. EVER. Good luck.

(P.S. I don't know where your fiancé has been hiding, and why HE hasn't taken control of the situation - it is *his* brother, and *he* should be the one dealing with it. A spineless fiancé might be a bigger problem than a messy brother-in-law.)

Answer 5

You don't have to frieak out or let it turn into a pigsty. Does your fiance feel the same way that you do or does he excuse their behavior.

It is time to have a house meeting. Let them know that they have until X amount of time to leave (not open ended 'until they find a job')and in that time they need to clean up after themselves. Tell them specifics about what they need to do. In a way, you have to treat them like children.

What is most important is that you and your fiance have to be on the same page about this and stick to the rules with them.

Answer 6

U should really talk to your fiance about that. Its his brother and his brother's girlfriend. Tell them they need to clean up after themselves or they're out on their bums. They are grown and they don't need a house maid. And as for the hovering over the shoulder just ask politely for her to stop doing it cuz its private.

Answer 7

Talk to your fiance, and the 2 of you decide upon a deadline for them to be out of your home, then he should tell them this. Your finance should also explain to them that there are some house rules, and one of them is cleaning up after yourself, and giving each other needed privacy. Your fiance SHOULD back you up on this one. Good luck!

Answer 8

Lay down the law - it's your house after all. What does your fiance have to say about it? If he's as angry as you are then he needs to do the talking since it's his brother.

You've probably been trying to be nice about it so far but it's gone past that & they need to be threatened with being asked to leave if they don't start helping out.

Answer 9

tell your fiance that the time has come for them to move on. Fish and company stink after 3 days.

It's your house. You have the right to keep it the way you want and not feel like you have to hide. make your fiance get rid of them. It's his brother.

Answer 10

Lay down the law - tell them the you are not the maid and that they can pitch in with the house work or pay for a cleaning service