Ok I was a foster child in 1984. My foster father and foster mother were married. However my foster father left my foster mother for her cheating ways. Well I wanted to go with him but she told me no and to never ask again. I FINIALLY found him last Monday. Well I am going out to see him this summer for two weeks.
I am currently going through a coustry battle atm. My X's parents have my daughter. As he can't have her atm either.
My delima is my visit with my foster father. I am planning to go see him for two weeks in the summer (different state). What if he offers for me to move in with him? I am currently staying with friends. I would really love to live with him again. However I don't want to leave my daughter behind and if I move I would have to. Unforuntly right now it doesnt look like either of us are gonna get her back anytime soon. What if he tries to offer me money? I don't think he needs to give me money now just because he couldnt before. His x-wife took everything of his
2007-03-06 05:24:11 · 6 answers · asked by mysticsoul 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think you need to have a look at what will get your life on a solid track. Is your daughter in a safe place? Then you should concentrate on what will get you in the best place possible to get your daughter back with you.
I don't understand the money thing. Don't take money from anyone. Earn it yourself. If he wants to help you with a place to live, etc. and it's a good situation, do it.
Talk to your attorney about how this potential move might affect your custody issues.
Good luck (and it's spelled dilemma...not to be rude...just so you know for the future)!
2007-03-06 05:32:43 · answer #1 · answered by dashelamet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't move in with him. It could easily end up getting into a sexual situation that you don't want and you don't need. Why would you love to live with him again? What you need is a marriage and a stable home for your daughter. Don't even think about leaving your daughter behind for someone who had a role of father in your life - the whole thing is creepy. Get involved in making positive changes now so that you can be independent now. I think you even think about your foster father because you want to be protected and taken care of. Once that becomes sexual, it will just be a creepy relationship that is an obstacle to your having a real home for yourself and your daughter.
He should never offer you money. You shouldn't accept it, either. Learn to stand on your own. You're doing everything you can to avoid that. No wonder your ex's parents have your daughter! They probably can see that, too. It's time to grow up.
2007-03-10 04:07:27 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go visit your foster father and enjoy yourself. If you want to talk with him about your situation and listen to his input. As for your child, you are right that you would not be able to take her out of state, esp if she is in the custody of someone else. Thats something you will have to handle in court. Now if you mnoved, would it benefit you, far as getting things established for your child? Sometime change is good. If he offers money and you need it, take it.....dont let pride get in the way of that. Thats what parents do...help out there children, right? And go talk to your ex parents and see if there is anything that you could do to get your child back or was it court ordered. In the case, go through the courts. But if you leave, stay in touch with your child and see them on a regular basis........think about being able to stay consistent with that, if you move away. Good Luck!!!
2007-03-06 13:32:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that you truly need to get your life in order. I would not leave the state where my does lives. I would stay in the state, and do what I have to do, to prove to the courts that I can be a good mother. God did not give you that gift of a child, for you to turn around and have someone else raise her. Your top priority in life should be her, and taking care of yourself. Running away is not the answer. Especially to someone you haven't seen in years.
2007-03-06 13:35:02 · answer #4 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your number one purpose and responsibility is your daughter. Nothing else matters but being a mom. When she is an adult then go ahead on some road trip where ever you may want to go. But for now ... Be a Mom. There is nothing better! And nothing in your life will make any sense until you surrender to your motherhood. Good Luck.
2007-03-06 13:30:51 · answer #5 · answered by Summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go see your foster dad for the 2 weeks if he wants you to move in do it. it would be a stable enviroment to show the court for your daughter. If you don't get your daughter back you will still have a stable place for her to visit. if he offers money tell him to help out legally.
2007-03-06 13:28:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋