I am 20 and have lived on my own for the past 2years while going to school. I graduated and recently moved back home to live with my parents due to financial issues and I plan on moving back east to live with a my cousin. My family here doesn't approve but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to go. I plan on moving the middle of next month. The way I see it is that, I'm going to move out some day so why not now? They're just being controlling and I'm trying to atleast give them notice that I'm leaving instead of just leaving and not saying anything. I'm at a point in my life where I feel like I need my space.It's weird becuz it feels like I'm trying to get out of a relationship. I feel like I'm trying to divorce my family and they're trying to make me feel guilty for wanting to leave. Do you think I'm being selfish for wanting to leave? I don't see a problem with it, I am of age.
2007-03-06 05:15:40 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
u should never have moved back home in the first place
2007-03-06 05:20:03 · answer #1 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They will just miss you that's all. You are being kind of selfish, not so much because you want to move, but because you are getting upset with them for not wanting you to go. How will you feel one day when you have to watch your children go out on their own without you? It's really hard for a parent and they just want you to be ok. You should be a little more understanding of their side of things. And make the most of the time you have with them while you're still here before you go. Then they won't feel so much like you just want to get away from them. They might be a little more supportive of you leaving if you show them that you care for them too.
2007-03-06 13:21:25 · answer #2 · answered by starlight_940 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No my dear you are not being selfish. But you have to understand where they are coming from. Family just don't want to see you get hurt, and if they have to keep you in their arms they will. But you have to find yourself by moving out of your parents house. Just be careful, and do not rush things. Maybe you might want to consider staying for a little while just to save some more money. Because it doesn't always work out the way in which you expect. And when that happens you have to have enough money to stay at home for at least six months. Yes you are of age but think realistically and maturely. Good luck
2007-03-06 13:25:29 · answer #3 · answered by petty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a natural process to want to leave home. Your parents of course don't want you to leave because they have grown accustommed to having you in the home and are afraid of the adjustment they will have to make. Also, they will worry about you being out on your own as all parents do. You are not divorcing your family, just taking the next step in life. It was very respectful of you to inform your family, but if you feel this is neccessary then you must do it. Try to take a day to have a heart to heart with them to alleviate their fears.
2007-03-06 13:21:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are of age to decide on what you want to do with your life. In fact I admire your willingness to be financial independant. Some parents have a hard time of letting go and so therefore make their children feel guilty for wanting to go. You continue to behave as an adult and do your best to understand your parents. By this does not mean you have to do as they say. They are being unfair for trying to hold you back from making your own decisions in life. Stand firm, love them, and do what you have to do. Best of luck to you!
2007-03-06 13:31:14 · answer #5 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not being selfish. I think it's commendable that you want to "fledge" out on your own instead of being a freeloader.
Just remember, that to your parents, you'll always be their baby, and as a mother myself, it's so hard to let go of the control you once had over your kids...because you worry about them and don't want them to struggle or do without anything.
Sit them down, and tell them, as parents, you're thankful for the wonderful job they've done, and that's what's given you the strength and desire to know you can succeed on your own, and that their job is really "done", as you're an adult. Let them know this has nothing to do with running away from home, as much as embarking on the life journey they've spent your whole life preparing you for. It's not going to be easy for them, but they have to do it. It's part of "the circle of life". :) Good luck.
2007-03-06 13:23:30 · answer #6 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, you aren't being selfish at all. You are trying to do the right things for yourself while making it on your own.They aren't used to that and that's why they're being the way they are. I'm 35 and lived on my own since I was 22. I love it. I do. I'm also the youngest of three girls and believe me, they still treat me like I can't wipe my own nose. But I am the most independent of all of us. Go ahead and do what you need to do and what's best for you. They will either get over it and support you or not. Best wishes!!!
2007-03-06 13:21:32 · answer #7 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a reason they don't want you you to move in with your cousin? It might not be that your leaving is the problem. Your not being selfish however. Everyone needs to leave home sometime. Good luck!
2007-03-06 13:23:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an adult. And no you are not being selfish. That may be why you feel like you need more space. Don't worry about what your parents think about your decisions for your life. You need to do what is right for you. Besides...if your parents continue their 'control' tactics over you..they will lose a child versus you losing your parents. So I say move without saying anything (cause it soulds like its THAT bad for you).
2007-03-06 13:53:06 · answer #9 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It IS a relationship. After all they raised you, and no doubt love you very much. It may seem like they want to control your life, but they are just concerned for your well being. Don't get me wrong, it is very natural for you to leave, and if you feel you must, then go. But, be considerate to your parents, it is very hard for them to step back and see that you are grown up.
2007-03-06 13:23:06 · answer #10 · answered by shfincter S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Na cause thats not selfish to want to get away from home its only normal.Dont forget no when you left the first time it was probly quite difficult for them .Then you came back so there use to having you around again and then your going again they will get use to it once youve been gone a while but you must see y there upset .
2007-03-06 13:24:43 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋