Have you ever cheated ?

Question

I have cheated on 2 husbands in the past (didn't get caught either time). I am now newly married (for 3 months) to my 3rd husband and I feel like cheating again. I don't know why I do this ! I love my husband very much and he satisfies me and everything, but I crave adventure and passion...is something wrong with me ? Why do I want to cheat ?

Answer 1

First, I don't think its very nice for some people on here to call you a ho. That is being judgmental, and obviously you are on here for advice and help. I think you should seek counseling. I have never cheated, but I have known people who have, and I have been cheated on before. My girlfriend was a victim of rape and she began cheating on her husbands too. She went to a psychologist and found out it was her defense mechanism for not getting too close to any man. My former boyfriend cheated on me and years later found out he was a sexaholic. You may actually have a real problem, or an addiction. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

The questions shouldn't be "why do I cheat" it should read "why do I get married".There's nothing wrong with you at all,and craving adventure and the passion is just who you are.What you need to do is get a divorce now cause it will surely happen in the future provided you stay the same person with the same outlook on life.If you want to stop then stop it's that easy but if you can not contain your will for adventure or passion you can pretty much expect the same as before. You have a choice either be your adventuress self or change for the good of the marriage.One or the other.

Answer 3

You aren't likely to get a lot of help with that question here, but I understand what you are saying. I've cheated emotionally because I too have a huge capacity for passion and adventure. All I know is, marriage has a lot of challenges which can be diminished if both partners remain attentive and adventurous. There is some good psychology on the "why" we do things but not the "what to do about it." I wouldn't say you should settle for less than what you need, but you have to recognize at some point, if you want to be relatively content, that no one person is going to be everything. You have to mentally close the door to what ifs and find the best in the one you're with. If their best isn't good enough, then you have to be honest and let it go. That's easier said than done.

Jung has noted that what we look for in the ones we're attracted to is really a reflection of ourselves. I think opposites attract because subconsciously we're afraid of getting too close to ourselves, but then we end up marrying someone we don't often relate to. I'd say it's actually best to find someone you have a lot in common with and then realize that there will be down times. No matter what, long term relationships are hard.

Answer 4

it's easy to get used to the thrill of running around and not getting caught, but it's you who you are damaging the most. Look, if a person can stop smoking, or doing drugs, you can stop this craving for adventure. What i'd advise you is to look for something else that gives you the thrills, sports, hobbies, even volunteering. Try and keep your mind entertained with a lot of different activities, and try and think and point out exactly what makes you do that. When you find out the reason, it's going to be easier for you to lay off of it, but for the love of God, don't fall in to temptation again. Right the very moment you do it, you are going to lose all the respect you have for your husband and i'm pretty sure he doesn't deserve it, plus if you have lost your self respect in past occasions, you can make a difference now, and start building it up again.

Answer 5

Why do you even get married. All you do is hurt people . You think your ex husbands don't know you cheat.ed Yes, they do. You need professional help. Your third marriage is in trouble. If you knew the pain you cause you would behave yourself. You have hurt lots of people that you don't even know with your cheating for a cheap thrill. What about the people you cheated with how many marriages did you breakup. It doesn't just effect you it effects their children and other family members. Get help!!!! Before you destroy more lifes. If you want adventure don't get married just do the chasing and make sure they are single so you do not destroy and hurt more people.

Answer 6

...karma's gonna catch up with you eventually darling....no offense is intended here by that remark either. I'm just curious though,...other then unsafe stranger sex with people you're not married to....what makes you really want to cheat on all of these fine hubby's here in the first place? Adventure and passion???...sounds more like hot pants and dangerous situations intrigue you more then anything else seriously. We just wanna know the mentality behind what makes "a cheater" want to cheat reasonably. Is the sex at home boring or uninspiring or deft or quick or too familiar or what? I've never cheated on anyone...but I've been cheated on many times in past relationships. I certainly find women extremely appealing and whatnot...but when I'm with someone exclusively?...I'm strictly with them..and that's it. Lay out some insight babe. Wondering minds here want to know.

Answer 7

I have cheated, and I also have not gotten caught. The best reason I can come up with is there's something missing in me. Do you have self-esteem issues? I was not an attractive person growing up, and still see myself that way, but I know I get lots of male attention now and it makes me feel better about myself. Do you have depression? That's something else that could play a role. I do, and it makes me actually feel something to be with someone different, as opposed to always feeling blah. There are so many reasons why people do it. Maybe you have intimacy issues. You stated you're on hubby #3, could that be the problem? Some people just weren't meant to be monogamous, no matter what other people say. What would your newest hubby say to swinging? At least then it wouldn't be cheating.

Answer 8

people that say they will never cheat doesnt know what may happen down the road,i used to say that to and still done the exact thing you are doing,im on my third husband,but i did seek counseling,i found out that from some of the things that has happened inmy past(like rape) that deep down i wanted a father figure and i also was unconciously wanting to hurt men the way i was hurt.ive been married this time 11 yrs and am doing great
good-luck and dont let anyone call you a ho.you have a serious problem and need help with it

Answer 9

We ALL crave adventure and passion. At some level, everyone thinks or fantasizes about other people. What separates those of us who don't cheat from people like you who do is morals, self-control, and a proper understanding that those energies are best focused on your current spouse.

Yes there is something wrong with you. You care more about yourself and self-gratification than you care about doing what's right.
I feel bad for your husband.

Answer 10

No, I've never cheated. Why do you get married if you always cheat? I think you might want to seek counseling. If you love your husband and he satisfies you yet you still cheat on him then yes, you have a problem or you don't know what love is. In either case, get help.