Can Someone proof read this??????? I will give you 10points!?

Question

This is a reasearch report about 9/11/01, thanks for reading this!
On September 11, 2001 a terrible thing happened that will always be on some one’s mind. A group of terrorists flew American plains with passengers on them, into the Twin Towers in New York and into the Pentagon which is in Virginia. Along with taking their own lives they took an estimate of 3,000 lives with them. this has made a lot people think twice about flying since then. They are scared that they could have been a passenger on of one of the flights that never reached their real destination. Families will be grieving over a loved one who’s life was taken in either one of the plains or in one of the buildings where one of the aircrafts crashed forever. How could the people flying those plains not have thought of the others who have families that where sitting behind him or her?

HERE IS MORE:
The thing is he or she didn’t think about that, the thing that they thought about was that they for their country that they loved and will ‘served’ for. Which is just what we, the Americans, think as we are over in Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, and where ever else we are. Today, some people are still more concerned with their shoes matching their outfit or the manicure that they really want. Just remember the next time you get upset about something so ridiculous, realize that it could be much so worse.
..........................................
This is a 5 paragraph essay.... I am in 8th grade, but I am ahead in writing and this is a high school credit so I am taking it! I just need you to read this and tell me if I need to change it! Thanks!!!!!

I wrote this NOTHING IS COPIED!!!!!!

Sorry about that, this just the first draft and I had to paste it from WordPerfect, so some of the stuff got cut out.......Not to be rude or anything I just need you to tell me if it is good, not if the cap. is right or wrong, O.k.?

If you would like to change something then go ahead.....It does not matter anyway, because I think I have to start over......Thanks for the help!

Answer 1

plains to airplanes
estimate to estimated
capitalize this
plains to airplanes
one of is not necessary

end on families rest of sentence is to much information for the sentence.

Answer 2

Here you go.

"On September 11, 2001 a terrible thing happened that will always be on everyone’s mind.

A group of terrorists flew American airplanes with passengers on them, into the Twin Towers in New York City and into the Pentagon in Virginia. Along with taking their own lives
they took an estimated 3,000 innocent lives with them.

This has made a lot people think twice about flying since then. They are scared that they could have been a passenger on of one of the flights that never reached their real destination.

Families will be grieving over a loved one whose life was taken in either one of the planes or in one of the buildings where one of the aircrafts crashed forever. How could the people flying those airplanes not have thought of the others who have families that were sitting behind him or her?

The thing is he or she didn’t think about that. (The thing that they thought about was that they for their country that they loved and will ‘served’ for).(Unclear sentence. Needs to be rewritten) Which is just what we, the Americans, think, as we are over in Iraq, Afghanistan, and where ever else we are. Today, some people are still more concerned with their shoes matching their outfit or the manicure that they really want.

Just remember the next time you get upset about something so ridiculous, realize that it could be much so worse.

Answer 3

One recurring thing I found...planes, not plains. There are several grammar errors, that I left alone. If I fix them, I will have to reword your paper, and I don't want to take the liberty of doing it without your permission.

I made obvious corrections and pasted it into this reply

On September 11, 2001 a terrible thing happened that will always be on someone’s mind. A group of terrorists flew American planes, with passengers on them, into the Twin Towers in New York, and into the Pentagon which is in Virginia. Along with taking their own lives, they took an estimated 3,000 lives with them. This has made a lot people think twice about flying since then. They are scared that they could have been a passenger on one of the flights that never reached their real destination. Families will be forever grieving over a loved one whose life was taken in either one of the planes or in one of the buildings where one of the aircrafts crashed. How could the people flying those planes not have thought of the others who had families that were sitting behind him or her? The thing is, he or she didn’t think about that, the thing that they thought about was their country that they loved and served. Which is just what we, as Americans, think as we are over in Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, and wherever else we are. Today, some people are still more concerned with their shoes matching their outfit or the manicure that they really want. Just remember the next time you get upset about something so ridiculous, realize that it could be much so worse.

Answer 4

On September 11th 2001, a terrible thing happened, that will always be on everyones mind. A group of terrorists flew American planes with passengers on them, into the Twin Towers in New York and into the Pentagon which is in Virginia. Along with taking their own lives they took an estimated amount of 3,000 lives with them. This has made a lot people think twice about flying since then. They are scared that they could have been a passenger on of one of the flights that never reached their real destination. Families will be grieving over a loved one who’s life was taken in either one of the planes or in one of the buildings where one of the aircrafts crashed forever. How could the people flying those planes not have thought of the others who have families that were sitting behind him or her?


it had a few errors but its fine.

i dont understand the last sentence/question so i didnt correct it that much.

Answer 5

On September 11, 2001 a terrible thing happened that will always REMAIN IN THE MINDS OF EVERYONE. A group of terrorists flew American PASSENGER PLANES into the Twin Towers in New York, and into the Pentagon, which is in Virginia. Along with taking their own lives, they took an estimateD 3,000 lives ALONG with them. This has made a lot people think twice about THE SAFETY OF AIR TRAVEL. PEOPLE are scared that they could have been a passenger on of one of the flights that never reached their real destination. Families ARE STILL grieving over loved oneS who’s liVES wERE taken ON BOTH the PLANES AND in the buildings where the aircrafts crashed. How could the people flying those PLANES not have thought of the other PEOPLE who have families that where sitting behind THEM?


HOPE THIS HELPS:-)

Answer 6

several things wrong with it. planes instead of plains, aircraft instead of aircrafts, the whole thing read like a run on sentence, little cohesive thought throughout.. Take the idea and break it into several topics, then write four seperate sentences about each topic. Use an opening and closing paragragh then you will end up with a five paragraph essay that will be cohesive and get your point across well. You already have the three topics, the fact that the terrorists took their own lives for their country, the fact that many are now scared to fly, and the grief caused by their actions...now just write a few sentences about each topic and elaborate on the opening and closing paragraphs and you will get a good grade.

Answer 7

Write out the date then (911) afterward. Second sentence, after 2001 place a comma. Someone is one word. Plains should be spelled planes. Don't just call the Twin towers that, call it the World Trade Center's twin towers, and be sure to use italic font on them or at least "". After "lives with them" capitalize the T in This (new sentense). Instead of "they are scared" say "travelers are scared" or "flight passengers are scared." "Who's life" should be spelled "who'se" (contraction who is) . Try not to use the word "one" three times in that sentense. Plains, again, is spelled "planes" (2 more times). Instead of "planes not have thought" say - "have not thought" (switch those 2 words). You should also try to break this into more than one paragraph. I'd suggest the last sentense is a good place to break but you should have more than one sentence in any paragraph. You'll have to come up with another sentense for it.
Hope this helps. Need more help email me and I'll send you my direct email address. Good luck!

Answer 8

Good essay.
However I would suggest more details about the tragedy and how it influences your point at the end of the paper. What do you want the reader to walk away thinking about? Are you writing this paper just for a grade, or do you really have something to say? If you have something to say, make sure that idea gets out to the reader. Make sure your reader feels what you feel, and understands what you understand. Make them see your world through their eyes.

Answer 9

It's good, but there are a lot of spelling and grammar errors. For example, plains (misspelled twice) should be spelled planes, and estimate should be estimated and delete of after estimated.

Answer 10

I found a lot of things wrong with it and I've only read half. Reread it yourself first. You'll see what's wrong. Capitalization for one thing.

Line 3: someone's (one word)
Line 6: capitalize "This"
Line 7: a lot (of) people
Line 8: of one (switch words)
SECOND PARAGRAPH
Line 1: think about that (.) (T)he