Tell me a joke. Riddle anything confusing or funny plz im bored lol?

Question

Help im dying with boredom

Answer 1

You should go to the riddle section. they have lots of jokes and riddles to do. Its three categories above music here in the enterainment section. Good luck.

Here is a riddle:

You're driving a bus that is leaving on a trip from Pennsylvania and ending in New York. To start off with, there were 32 passengers on the bus. At the next bus stop, 11 people get off and 9 people get on. At the next bus stop, 2 people get off and 2 people get on. At the next bus stop, 12 people get on and 16 people get off. At the next bus stop, 5 people get on and 3 people get off. What color are the bus driver's eyes?
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They are your eyes so what ever color your eyes are. Read the first sentence if you didnt figure it out. :)

Answer 2

The Doc told me to start an exercise
program.

Not wanting to harm this old body, I've devised the following:


Beat around the bush
Jump to conclusions
Climb the walls
Wade through the morning paper

Drag my heels
Push my luck
Make mountains out of mole hills
Hit the nail on the head

Bend over backwards
Jump on the Band Waggon
Run around in circles

Toot my own horn..
Pull out all the stops..
Add fuel to the fire..

Open a can of worms..
Put my foot in my mouth..
Start the ball rolling..
Go over the edge..
Pick up the pieces..

Kneel in prayer..
Bow my head in thanksgiving..
Uplift my hands in praise..
Hug someone and encourage them..

What a Workout!

Answer 3

A boss,worried about one of his employees,who hadn't turned up for work that day,phoned his home to see if he was okay. A little child's voice answered in a whisper "hello" and the boss said "Is Daddy there?".The little voice whispered "Yes". Can I speak to him asked the boss? No the little voice whispered! "Is Mummy there ?" said the boss.Yes came back the reply still in a whisper.Can I speak to her asked the man but the Little voice whispered " No, she's talking to the Policeman!" " There's a Policeman there?" exclaimed the boss."Yes and a Fireman" came back the whisper.Just then the boss heard a noise in the background which sounded like a helicopter."What's that noise?" asked the boss really worried by this time." It's the search team's helicopter!" came back the whisper. "My God what are they searching for?" asked the boss. "Me" said the whisper!

Answer 4

emm..a jelly baby walks into a doctors office and asks to be tested for AIDS, the doctor says "What do you want tested for AIDS for? what have you been doing?" the jellybaby says "******* allsorts"

works better without the stars but c'est la vie

Answer 5

Two guy walk into a bar.
Third one ducks.

Answer 6

did you hear about the kidnapping?.........he woke up