get my long term b/f to be more romantic?
We've spoke about it and it just seems to go in one ear and out the other. His reasons for not being romantic in the past were i didnt seem like the woman who liked that sort of stuff.
I dont think he has ever swept me off my feet or even said anything remotly romantic. HELP!!
2007-03-06 03:56:27 · 8 answers · asked by ashlie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He ain't gonna change. No man will. You'll just have to live with it.
2007-03-06 04:00:30 · answer #1 · answered by Misha-non-penguin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you 'know' that your boyfriend isn't 'being romantic' and you are just 'blind to it' because you think that 'being romantic' has 'certain specific lines said or actions done' and can't see 'the whole picture.'
My husband is 'naturally very romantic' ... in fact, that is what our 'first talk' was about when we were 'just friends' ... he'd done things like give me 'pictures' he thought I'd like to put on my walls, and made dinner occasionally, and we TALKED about 'everything under the sun' and literally 'forgot the world' when we did that ... so I asked him was he 'trying to get me to be romantic toward him' or was he just 'doing stuff he always did.' He said it was just 'stuff he always did' but that led us to talk about whether we wanted to 'explore the romantic path' together or not. We decided we would 'explore' but I thought it would be 'very slow over the next year or two' and he thought he had to 'make up his mind right away' ... and the day that we 'started being a real couple' (and that included knowing we would get married) I 'misread' his cues ... he showed up at my door an hour and a half 'earlier' than the time we had set (usually I had to go to his apartment door and wake him at that time) with a little pot of flowers he'd gone out and bought for me. We were agreed to 'behave outrageously' that day, and even when he gave me his shopping list to check, I thought it was weird and corrected his 'misspelling' of the word 'broccoli' (he'd spelled it 'brocolli') ... and I didn't 'find out' until we did the 'one thing he would never do with a woman until he knew she was the 'only woman for the rest of his life' ... and then I laughed so hard I fell out of bed, because I'd been jealous of that witch for taking my best friend away from me, and had actually been 'jealous' of MYSELF.
We've been married for ten years now. My husband goes to work, comes home and cooks our dinner, and he washes my back when I take a bath. He also 'plays games on his computer' most of the time when we're home, and basically 'ignores me' unless we are playing the one 'computer game' that we can play 'together on-screen on-line' ... and he 'farts' and 'belches' and runs around with nothing on but his socks ... but I actually think that his 'overindulgence in computer games' and his 'less than perfect behavior' are ROMANTIC because I know that he 'loves and trusts me' enough to know that we can be 'totally gross' with each other and it doesn't matter ... we can be 'whoever we are' and it's just fine, because we are 'best friends' and 'lovers' and are 'married for forever and beyond.' So why don't you try 'looking at' your boyfriend in a 'different way' and maybe you'll see that he is 'being romantic' in ways that you couldn't see before ... and I'll bet that you'll find that even if he's 'really bad' sometimes that he's also 'really romantic' because he 'totally loves and trusts you' ...
2007-03-06 05:32:57 · answer #2 · answered by Kris L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im in teh same situation. my bf isnt romantic as he was before. in the begining he was, bu as time goes on things like that happen. you might need to both sit and talk about why you love each other and what faults you see. and thigs you like or dont like. maybe plan a day for just the two of you. and if he thinks that about u, well there has to be a reason you guys are goin out and lasted so long. was he ever romantic like before?
2007-03-06 04:12:09 · answer #3 · answered by D K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has never been romantic why do you expect him to change? You can not change people, either decide that this issue isn't that important to you or move on.
2007-03-06 05:19:01 · answer #4 · answered by Heidi F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't love you, he only loves to have you handy (on a string)
Plan A
Find some one better who does love you.
Plan B
Now show him this answer, he might improve. if he don't . Revert to plan A.
Good luck
2007-03-06 04:20:42 · answer #5 · answered by Hammer&Drill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the lead try something new it might jolt him out of his complacency
2007-03-06 04:06:54 · answer #6 · answered by speyhawkzamek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You girls normally seem to be able to talk us blokes into anything!
2007-03-06 04:03:05 · answer #7 · answered by R.E.M.E. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't hold your breath. He is what he is what he is what he is.....
2007-03-06 04:01:41 · answer #8 · answered by jet-set 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋