My husband and I have SERIOUS communication issues. On the outside, everyone thinks we are the perfect couple. Lots of outward affection and we never fight. However, behind closed doors, we are emotionally distant and resentful to one another. He says I don't listen, I say he doesn't listen.
We are going to counseling this week or next. What can I expect?
2007-03-06 03:11:17 · 13 answers · asked by Falina T. Rayon 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Personnaly, I wouldnt waste a lot of time or money on it. WE tried that route once after an affair and it was totally a waste of money. The way I look at it, is why pay someone 100 bucks an hour so they can sit there and listen to you two talk? If your issues are communication, you should both sit down a couple nights a week, set a date and time, where there are no distractions, and talk. About everything. Agree to disagree when appropraite, agree not to allow the talking to escalate into arguing. Evreyone is different. Maybe you two will benefit from counseling, just my personal experience says its a waste of time and money.
2007-03-06 03:18:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Well, unless you happen to get a really good one who does have some actual morals, what you are likely to get is just another silly liberal who is all into the do what feels good, follow your heart, God wants you to be happy crap. Those are the types that seem to gravitate toward this line of work.
I know that I would want to basically see the resume of the counselor, as in their relationship history, divorces and for what reasons and so forth. Asking those things isnt unfair when this person is portraying themselves as something of an expert or helper of relationships.
Frankly, if you really want help with your relationship, both of you sit down and read what the Bible says love is and what the responsibilities of the husband and wife are. Yeah, I know, most dont care what God said anymore. But lets face it. He made us, so he probably has the best advice on how to act and how to make things good. If you two wont do so, it is because you both are being selfish and wanting your own ways rather then doing what you are suppose to do.
2007-03-06 04:43:47 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can expect an objective assessment of the situation after you each have been given the opportunity to express your opinions / feelings without being interrupted. You can expect to be asked questions about what you would like to see happen / where you would like to see changes / and what you are willing to contribute towards having the kind of marriage you'd like to have. If you are going to a secular counselor, you can expect advice based on what society deems as acceptable; if you are going to a Christian counselor, you can expect advice (but NOT a sermon) on how to address the marital issues in a loving, godly manner.
2007-03-06 03:33:00 · answer #3 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I can tell you from personal experience, counseling is hard. At first all this stuff comes out and you get angry, but I guess if you can work past that, then good. There are reasons you are distant and resentful besides no communication. Better look deeper than that.
2007-03-06 03:15:16 · answer #4 · answered by Jewel 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Enlightenment hopefully! If you are going to the right therapist, they will be able to draw things out of each of you that you normally don't feel comfortable saying, and then you will see where the other person is coming from. A lot of times your perspective will change, which will help change the way you approach situations at home and in daily life. Good luck!
2007-03-06 03:19:12 · answer #5 · answered by ckgusto 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-21 19:28:43 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At first you won't get much from it, it will take a few sessions. The counselor will break down your issues, and will not take sides. Your problem very well may be is that you guys have a problem with compatibility.
2007-03-06 03:18:30 · answer #7 · answered by St.Jeb 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never go for councilling. They are not gods. I know people who are councilling still hve problems at their homes.
Better for few days with consent of each other be apart .I mean stay with ur relations happily n talk to each other late nights n if not successful write to yr brother again. I wll talk to u both on internet. Like the idea?
2007-03-06 03:26:35 · answer #8 · answered by raashi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all you need to lay it all out for the counselor so he/she knows what he/she is dealing with. He/She will talk with you and give you some pointers to work on for communication. Teach you techniques to try in order to communicate better.
2007-03-06 03:16:04 · answer #9 · answered by harleychickfatboy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Expect it to go sloooooooow. Expect to walk in optimistic and walk out in tears and wondering how you are going to make it til next week.. you just want to get thing fixed! Your pocket book is going to be a lot thinner.
Sounds to me like there is a lot of anger between you two.
2007-03-06 03:23:47 · answer #10 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋