in September of last year i miscarried at 12 week the midwives at hospital?

Question

said that it was to do with the pill why i lost the baby. me and my partner were trying again up untill a couple of weeks ago because he had said he wanted to leave it a year before we try again so i suggested i would go back on the pill for 6 months then stop taking it after 6 months and then wait 6 months then start trying again at the point of a year idont know wheather i have done the right thing by suggesting i go back on the pill, i suggested it because i love my partner and i want to have his kids and i want us both to be happy he is now happy i think but i dont know if i am happy because i long for a baby i know its only an extra year to wait but i feel there is something missing inside me and thats what it is it cant be anything else i have everything else i want. i am still taking the pill but i need to know wheather i have i done the right thing or not?

Answer 1

if your your partner isnt ready for a baby just yet then yes your doing the right things by using contraception until you both decide that you want a child. However if you feel anxious about using the pill for contraception then talk to your partner and see if you can both agree on an alternative such as a condom. I am so sorry for your loss, my wife and I have experienced stillbirth and its devastating but there is hope and I am sure that you will have a healthy pregnancy and baby the next time. My wife is overdue now with our 3rd baby. Losing a baby is heartbreaking for any woman especially and it can take a while to recover both emotionally and physically. Myabe counselling would be good for you to try and help you cope with whats happened and help you prepare for any feeling you have about another pregnancy. Good luck

Answer 2

I would definitely suggest using condoms as your contraceptive instead of the pill. Being that that's what caused your miscarriage in the first place. If you use condoms you can decide at any time that the time is right to try again. Why put yourself through the pain of worrying it could happen again? It's hard enough as it is to go through your first trimester with all the worry that's involved, don't add the worry of the pill causing another miscarriage. Make sure you are past the grieving point before trying again. It's important to make your pregnancy as relaxing as possible. If you are still stressed about your previous pregnancy, you may cause problems for your next. Timing is everything. If you aren't ready, or your partner isn't ready then wait. Take your time, babies are a blessing but they are also hard work! I wish you the best of luck for you and your partner. I am sincerely sorry for your loss. But happy for your new beginning.

Answer 3

aw babes. maybe ur partner just feels he's not ready 2 have another one cuz he's scared that you'll miscarry agn n cnt deal with the heart ache? i wuldn't suggest the pill if it made u miscarry last time. why not put it off one month at a time? there's a jab u can have which'll stop u getting pregnant just for a month. having said that, didn't work with me! had the jab, n half way thru the month found i was pregnant! whoops. anyway, if u do it monthly u can sit dwn n see how each other are feeling about trying again, and it'll just be so much easier on you. plus this jab (honeslty cnt remember 4 the life of me wot its called, sorry, just ask ur doc) won't alter ur mood like some of the pills can, and its so much easier 2 come off it, u dnt have to remember to take it daily so if u did get pregnant ur partner cnt turn round n have a go saying u dnt take ur pill! : )

i hope it all works out for you hunny and i'm sorry for your loss, i can't imagin how hard that must be. good luck, and u kno u gotta come bk on here n tell us when ur pregnant agn!!

Answer 4

I know how you feel as i miscarried myself last year and am now pregnant again, me and my partner decided to try again straight away because its what we both wanted.

You should speak to the midwife or you doctor again and ask them to explain everything to you.

You could always consider using some other form of contraception untill you are both ready again, if you use condoms you can decide to start again at any time without having to wait to come off the pill and worry about problems, then if your boyfriend changes his mind you dont have to wait.

Having said that it is important to make sure you are both ready to try again, i went thrrough so many different emotions after i miscarried, from wanting to try again straight away, to never wanting to risk going through that again, but me and my partner talked for a long time and came to the right decision for us.

Feel free to e-mail me if you want to talk more

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Answer 5

it sounds to me like you haven't been able to fully grieve for your loss. maybe your partner doesn't want to try again yet because he is grieving too and being a man he doesn't know how to express himself (no disrespect meant). i think you should both sit down and discuss this properly. ask him what he wants and don't take 'whatever you want' as an answer. you both need to know how the other is feeling. tell him you are not sure you have made the right decision so he knows how you feel too. i also suggest you go to see your GP and get him to make sure that going back on the pill will not affect any future attempts to conceive. you could try a different method of contraception, that might put your mind at rest. i wish you well. x

Answer 6

Midwives serve a good purpose but now since you have miscarried you need to be evaluated by a physician. If there is something that can be done to help you carry a baby to term this is the time to find out now! Your body will be ready for another pregnancy before one year. Don't take a chance on finding out later if there could be a problem that needs to be addressed now.
Good luck!

Answer 7

I've never heard that before perhaps you could give your body the break your partner suggests maybe he could wear condoms and that would then clear your system of the pill goodluck