I mean, really, it seems like the pendulum has swung way too far in that women now HAVE to be professional, highly educated and monetarily successful -- because guys nowadays just don't give a ****! I'm not saying women should all just depend on a guy for their well-being etc. but seriously - shouldn't men try to be at least as successful as their mates?!
2007-03-06 02:46:26 · 10 answers · asked by Mishy 1 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
That's a great point but I'm talking about myself and many of my girlfriends - it took us a while to figure out out careers etc. but for sure by our late 20's, we all did and are making lots more money etc. than our mates. What is their deal? Why don't they think it's bad not to have their **** together?!
2007-03-06 02:57:28 · update #1
Thanks Suzee - but I think - at least for myself - that the reason I'm trying to get degrees, certifications etc. now is that I want to be able to make as much money as possible since my husband (though he is very helpful around the house etc.) seems so unmotivated... In order to recreate the lifestyle I'm used to (where my dad was a doctor and make a decent living) I have to hustle as much as possible so I can make as much money as I can... I am in financial consulting doing internal audit etc. so luckily for me, Sarbanes-Oxley happened - creating lots of demand for my field... It just sucks that my man is not as motivated as I am - I am not used to that - since my dad was very much the breadwinner at my house... even though my Mom was educated and had been a professor before getting married...
2007-03-06 03:08:42 · update #2
I just feel like my friends don't understand/are in denial as they're in the same boat/are not from my culture (I'm South Asian) or experience with a financially successful father etc.
2007-03-06 03:09:46 · update #3
Well, I can guess the reason why your husband is unmotivated is because you are motivated. He found that you can make alot of money for a decent lifestyle so he don't find the need to be so motivated and instead supports you. He might found that is good to become the man of a successful woman, like a saying that is there is a woman for every successful man. Media portrayal always shows woman empowerment and not man empowerment also might be a part of it. You are a south Asian, so it is perfectly understandable that you can't stand your man being unmotivated because fathers are normally the breadwinners in the Asian family. So if you want your man to be motivated, you may try to take a few months leave and lie to your husband that you lost your job due to a serious error and see how he will deal with it.
2007-03-06 05:35:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Guys are making up for all those years when men had to work 80 hours a week while women sat home and did nothing. It's called "balance" - both men and women can work and make money! And it sounds pretty good to me - cause my father died an early death because he had to work from age 16 to 67 while my mom basically stopped working from the time she had her first kid at 19 to the time my dad was physically unable to work when she was 55.
2007-03-06 11:51:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a guy's perspective, I remember shortly after graduating from the University, I was ready to set the World on fire. I had potential, I knew what I wanted to do, I was full of energy and ambition. After working in the system for several years, and being beat down by that same system, I just really didn't care to apply myself anymore. Indeed, after working in a system where hard work and enthusiasm doesn't offer any more reward than doing just barely enough to get by, it's easy to see why so many people give up. Couple that with the idiocy that so often accompanies upper management, and you have the wonderful corporate world that Dilbert so elequently describes.
2007-03-06 11:08:49 · answer #3 · answered by Wee Bit Naughty 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well its a number of things. First off, intelligent successfull guys are potrayed as BORING when they are broke, or in the making ao there is no incentive to educate yourself, but more of an incentive to become the exciting guy girls crave for.
Also a lot of boys are raised by singel mothers which means they have no male role models around and a lot of them whitnessed the lives of their dads ruined by divorce.
Paying child support, alimony and swapping the mansion you pay mortgage for for a tiny appartment is not exactly a big incentive for a boy to put himself in the position to be abel to support a wife and family.
Finally let me tell you that equal opportunity does not mean equal outcome, you will just have to live witht he fact that your exact equal is hard to come by, chances are you will have to compete with a number of girls for the successfull guys (which are more likely to pick girls with no career in their way to fulfill their role as sahm) or settle for a less successfull guy at which point you have to decide what is more important to you, having all your money or sharing it with a man and having his companionship on the upside.
2007-03-06 14:54:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is because society has painted a picture that laziness is cool. The man thinks he can hang on the corner with his friends and let the woman bring home the bacon. The sad part is many young women settle for this due to fear of being alone. Some parents do not help it because they give them handouts. Even sadder is that when we as women seek to expand our horizons by pursuing advanced degrees and moving up the corporate ladder, then we think we are this and that. This is not true...but, we would like to be in the company of a man who has the same goals and aspirations.
2007-03-06 11:01:42 · answer #5 · answered by Suzee 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Dont stereotype. Not all guys are unmotivated. Todays world told us from jump to "have it our way" and we shouldnt follow the rules. We had pot-smoking parents from the love-the-world 60's and felt they should be entitled to everything w/o working for it. Your right. Women can make as much as guys. So make yours. Dont rely on us and keep looking. We are out there. Usually w/a girl who watches Dr. Phil all day on the couch. Oh, i'm not bitter. She's gone. Whew!
2007-03-06 11:00:11 · answer #6 · answered by csiders30 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Men need to feel needed. Women have categoriaclly made them worht not so much.
50% of women today live alone.
That sends a very powerfully negative message to men.
You wonder, still?
2007-03-06 10:54:36 · answer #7 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am a 28 yr old male
and i am not like that at all
and i know a lot of guys my age that are not like that
i think you are just looking for the wrong type of guy.
2007-03-06 10:56:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe it's the youth culture today, there is too much decadence in our society among youths. Perhaps women realise to prove themselves that they are as good as men they have to work harder and so men in turn look lazier
2007-03-06 11:17:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
why? we have been the bread winners for the last couple hundred years. maybe its time men took care of some kids and housework and women work and we will see who has the worse job......i'm kidding of course but only half way. and i hate to break it to you but women don't HAVE to work, women started working in the '60's so that they didn't have to rely on a man to support them. so today women work, but they still want their man to take care of them and spend all of his money on them. let me ask you a question why is it that it matters to you if your making more then your man? maybe its cause women nowadays are all about the money and maybe thats the real problem
2007-03-06 11:00:10 · answer #10 · answered by MATTHEW B 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋