I am 23 years old, and married with absolutely no libido!!?

Question

My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years now, and we have to little girls together.

I have no desire to have intercourse. I do not have a problem getting aroused, but just really don't ever "want" it.

My husband has been ok with it, but I feel really horrible about it. This has been going on, off and on for a little over 2 years now. I don't know what to do!!!

Does anyone have any ideas, of what would cause this so young in age? Please help!!

I am not a Stay at Home mom, I work 40 hour weeks at job.

He does understand, but we have had deep discussions about this and he does think that it has something to do with him. He thinks that I find him less attractive and that is not the truth at all!!

Answer 1

I can sympathize with you. I am 25 and my husband I have been married for 6 years and we have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. I find myself trying to avoid it at all costs. I stay home all day so after having kids hanging on me all day the last thing I want is to be touched any more.
It is almost like my hormones never went back to normal after the birth of my children. Honestly, you are probably tired and somewhat stressed. If it is at all possible try getting away for the weekend just you and him. I did this with my husband and it made a difference (a little). Reconnect without the possibility of interuptions and other responsibilities. Get to know each other again...it's a start to rekindling what first attracted you to one another.

Because you do work outside of the home you have additional strain of housework. I hope in the future drug companies will come out with something to help this...like female viagra...I would be the first in line to try it!!!

Answer 2

Im have the exact same problem! But im only 21 and have had 3 children .. Some people after having kids can lose interest in sex which i think is my problem .. My husband is ok with this and its great when they can understand lol well try to anyway! If your worried about this then ide suggest to go see your doctor and see what they reccomend to get things going again .. How old is your youngest daughter this could have something to do with it to, if shes young your body needs time to recover and get back to normal!

Good Luck

Answer 3

...it's NICE too know that YOU are NOT alone on this one!
I too have the same problem...I even went as far as searching on the net too find answers and even tied too get Female pills? well they are super expensive and I just can't afford...I think I'm going too watch for all your answers, Maybe it will help me too!
My husband isn't as understanding as yours tho...he thinks it's HIM..that I just don't get excited and DON'T come on too him and I hear this all the time...I can never be the one too make that first move...but if it's him...then i have no problem with having sex.
He has even said, WHICH IS TRUE I could never keep my hands off of him and I'm the ONE who ALWAYS made the first moves..then we got married and a few years down the road, it's like I just don't CARE...I tell him it's HIS turn too make all the moves now!
I feel real bad about it too...he is a VERY very good looking guy..and any women would take that second or even that third look! It worries me too tho that he may go else where Could WEIGHT GAIN cause this too? as I don't feel TOO sexy ANYMORE.

Answer 4

I'm assuming that you are home with the kids all day, and that can cause you to feel overworked, tired, irritable, and decrease your desire. You probably have time set aside for different chores (laundry, shopping, etc.). Try to include sex in your list of things to do.
Sorry to add more pressure to an already difficult situation, but if this continues, there's going to come a time when your husband is not OK with it, and that can lead to bigger problems.

Answer 5

I agree with the previous answers. I also know from my own experience that women seem to have more desire later in life where as guys start much earlier and tend to lose intrest later in life. As long as you're both fine with the circumstances, so be it. Life doesn't revolve around sex as some think!
I would consider a visit to the doc just to make sure everything is copesthetic and it isn't medical in nature!

Answer 6

What you are going through is not uncommon. Having two little ones makes you very busy and uses up a lot of energy. You should talk to your doctor, though, just to make sure it's not a mild depression, hormonal imbalance, or some other health related issue. You may try a good multi-vitamin if you aren't taking any.

Answer 7

Dont forget women do not reach their sexual peak until they are 30. Dont feel like you are broken because you are not. You have a lot going on right now, you are a busy mom of two little girls. Dont forget to take time for yourself as well as time alone as a couple. Plan a night out alone for just the two of you. This way you can reconnect as a couple not just as a functioning wife and husband. I hope this helps. Good luck and Good health to you and yours.

Answer 8

I hardly ever have that desire. I don't know why. But in your case, I can almost guarantee it has to do with exhaustion from taking care of your daughters. Once they are older and you don't have to take care of their personal needs so much, things will change.

Answer 9

does he ever buy you gifts such as flowers, as a token of his love for you. Maybe he's feeling guilty, or cheating on you.

Answer 10

im going to say its the girls :) it gets harder to enjoy. try getting grandma to babysit for a weekend. go for dinner and movie..then maybe a bubble bath:) relax!