my stepsons mother is badmouthing me!!?

Question

I have a stepson and he and I get along-his mother did not take the divorce well at all fighting it to the bitter end. The thing is I had nothing to do with that and didnt enter the picture until a year later. Shes making him feel guilty about having a relationship with me and I see him torn-he feels like being friends with me is a betrayal to her. I dont want to step on toes and i reassured him i could never take her place but what can I do without resorting to telling her off which helps noone especially my family......

Answer 1

I would CALMLY confront her, talk to her let her know you don't want to take her place and that you don't understand all the hostility against you. Put her in a position to explain her actions.
She may not want to get along because deep down she may still harbor feelings for her ex and that is a hard thing to admit to yourself after a bitter divorce. Anger could be her way of covering and dealing with reality.

Answer 2

Let your stepson's father deal with his ex wife. Keep out of it or you will really make it hard for your stepson to not take sides. All you can do is continue to be his stepmom and make sure there is no underlying reason for trying to win him over from his mom. Intermingled families always have problems similar to the one you and your stepson are experiencing. You must always maintain being the adult by behaving as such. Don't tell her off, this will do nothing but make matters worst. Somehow I feel the poor boy is being pulled between his mom and stepmon. Just a thought I got from ready your question. Regardless, best of luck to you!

Answer 3

I exist in a blended family and we are probably freaks of nature. We all kinda like each other. But I would say the Mom feels that you are a threat. I would make one attempt at addressing the situation directly with her. Make it short and sweet and let her know that you respect her role as "Jimmy's" Mom and will never do anything to change that. From there it becomes your husbands duty to keep the peace. I urge you to do your best to help raise a happy child. Create an environment that is condusive to growth and learning and happiness. Good Luck

Answer 4

his dad needs to step up and tell his son that loving his mom and respecting her does not mean he cant be friends with you,i have found that the issues start with most ex's when the step parent tries to come into a situation and start pointing out the faults in the way the core group has been dealing with the divorce,i am not saying your doing that but it seems to be a common thread in questions about step-children.just try to be there for the son and be the friend he wants you to be within the boundaries he sets.the mom might never come to terms with you being there with her son we have a way of feeling threatened by outsiders when we are already splitting time with the ex when it comes to our kids. good luck

Answer 5

Do not turn it into the Jerry Springer show. Be an example to your step son on how adults are supposed to act. His mom will get over this eventually. When she see's youre not the type to get in the ring with her, it'll get old pretty fast. And of course praying about it certainly cant hurt.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Your husband should be taking care of this. He needs to step up to the plate and tell that woman she has to stop. That woman is changing who he is( the son ) and not in a good way. Dad needs to get very firm with her and let his son know he can and should be friends with you despite what his mother tells him.

Answer 7

Tell the father to interact.Tell the child that he can have his own oppinion & to tune her out when she is behaving that way.

Answer 8

tell ur dad