me and my hubby are on the verge of divorce, but here is the thing, we still r in love with each-other. we love each-other as much as the day we said "i do" but we r not getting a divorce because of us, we are possibly getting a divorce because of everything else in are lives. i have a step-daughter that i love more than anything but she has MAJOR problems, she is violent and very defiant, and i just cant take it anymore, we just recently had r first kid together, but i am very stressed out dealing with my step-daughter, and i dont think i can take it anymore, i love my husband but i cant deal with my step-daughter anymore. she makes my life misserable, and i am to the point to where i am going to leave my husband because of this. does this make me a bad person? i am finding it very hard to leave because i am still in love with my husband, but dont know what to do with my step-daughter. can anyone please help me or give me some advice on what i can do.
2007-03-06 01:45:48 · 10 answers · asked by greengrass 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we tried the cousling thing and it didnt get us any where with her.
2007-03-06 01:46:33 · update #1
your step daughter is jealous of u and the new baby. if she is violent than i can quite understand why u shouldn't be around her. can she go live with her mother? children will ruin marriages, but than i think that's what her intention is. she needs some tough love, where as if she becomes violent she needs to go to jail for it. there has to be consequences for her actions, and your hubby should correct his daughter, and if he can send her to her mother's house.
2007-03-06 02:01:02 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking with your husband about this? Have you told him how serious this is bothering you? Would it be possible for the step daughter to go live with her mother? Is she old enough to live on her own? Have you tried getting this girl counseling to deal with her issues? How much longer will she be living in your house?
The reason I ask all these is that you didn't say anything about it and all those make a difference in how I (or others could answer).
I will say, if you really love your husband, please try to stay with him if humanly possible. If this is just a temporary thing, you need to suck it up and hang in there until this girl is gone from the house.
2007-03-06 02:28:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention how old the child is that has major problems. Counceling only works if it is done for over a year. Have you taken her to the doctor to make sure there isn't a problem that could be fixed with a drug?
If she is just blatently acting out then I suggest military school or girls home for a year. I know it sounds harsh but parents are responsible for their childs behavior and making sure the child gets the best possible upbringing. In my honest opinion military school teaches responsibility and respect. It also gives the child a path of better choices.
Please don't leave, I know it is hard but you could face the same problems late with your own child, and you know you wouldn't give up on your baby. you husbadn needs you and you need to communicate to him how much this is hurting and stressing you out...without being a b*tch, talk to him calmly.
2007-03-06 01:56:35 · answer #3 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your hubby will be with you till death do you part. Your step-daughter will grow up, have her own circle of friends and eventually get married. Why sacrifice a good marriage just before of this temporary unhappiness? Keep your distance from your step-daughter. Let you hubby deals with her. This way, there won't be any divorce and you keep your cool and be a good step-mother.
2007-03-06 01:50:59 · answer #4 · answered by SGElite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats sad.... I feel ur husband has to basically tell his daughter to shape up... get her help... maybe she needs meds.... if she is that violent... she needs more help than u all can give her.... does the girl have a mother she can live with or grandparents... cousins.... theres always boot camp if she is a teenager... if shes that bad... but if shes a child she needs to go to a psychiatrist to see whats the steps u can take to make her a great kid...take care
2007-03-06 02:05:20 · answer #5 · answered by gina B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it takes a few therapists before you find the right one. I wouldnt leave the man I love bcause of a destructive child. She needs a good @ss woopin is all. Keep fighting for what you love. Dont give up.
2007-03-06 01:50:30 · answer #6 · answered by Devdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please do not leave your husband. Try again with counseling if your stepdaughter must live with you. Also, it may because of the recent birth of your child that the pressure appears so intense at present. It may also be that your stepdaughter feels left out of things or needs some more attention from either you or her father (if your husband is her father). I wish your situation is resolved amicably.
2007-03-06 02:03:07 · answer #7 · answered by ann t 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old she is but someday she will be out on her own and you can be alone with the man you love. It doesn't seem like it at the time but these days go by fast....Try to stick with it and get him to deal with her more.
2007-03-06 01:59:49 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Send her off to college. 2)..... 3) Profit.
If she is young and acting that way, send her to a psychiatrist, like the ones that can recommend drugs.
2007-03-06 01:58:19 · answer #9 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is she?
2007-03-06 01:52:23 · answer #10 · answered by fallen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋