Should I stay or should I go now ?????

Question

Am I married to a very selfish person or am I just over reacting? In 1999 my wife and I seperated for about 2 years after being togather for 16 years because she had met someone else. I love my kids ( 6ys & 7yrs) so much I just bought a house across the street. We got back togather and her and the kids moved back in with me. She sold the house and kept every penny. I have owned my own biz for 15 years and it has done very well untill recentlly. My wife makes $24.00 per hr and I now am looking for a job for the first time in 15 yrs. My wife is un-willing to help pay the bills and I am going to be behind on my morgage. She has 95k in the bank from the sale from our last house. I am starting to resent her very much and am envious of other couples that work as a team and seem truly in love and thinks about their spouse and family more than just themselfs. Should I search for what I'm missing or should I stay because of my kids who are now 11 &12.

...........

Answer 1

YES she is a self centred you know what*....WOW...for HER to keep all that money....from the house sale...and after 16yrs together meets someone else...so you two seperate......she then sells the house gets all that money which technically 1/2 is entitled to YOU*....and moves back in with you...only to not lift a finger to help out with bills etc.*
You're right......MOST couples join their finances and life is so much easier. She's out for number one and that would be herself.
NEVER stay in a marriage just for the kids sake..your kids are now 11 n 12yrs old...divorce is never easy....but it's worse when y ou're starting to resent her and she doesn't care about anyone other than herself.
YOU should have talked to a lawyer and gotten 1/2 of that sale of the house as you both lived in it, y ou both were married.......1/2 of that sale is YOURS* I would still talk to a lawyer and see if anything can be done. Wouldn't that freak her out if you got 1/2 and she had to pay you. TIME to start thinking of YOURSELF and Your kids (as you seem to be the only one thinking of your kids) Doesn't mean you have to go find someone to love right now, but i would consult a lawyer and then tell her she needs to be finding somewhere else to live* and share custody of the kids*
You'll be better off, less stressed and more financially stable.
Just always make sure the kids understand it's nothing they've done....it's between y ou and their mom.
GOODLUCK and I hope you are entitled to 1/2 that sale of the house you both shared. YOU Deserve it and are entitled to it* I'm surprised you allowed it to happen, without being involved. Just cuz you moved out doesn't mean it's HER house* you're still married so 1/2 is YOURS* that $ would help you out and y our kids* Your wife is a greedy sod*...making 24.00/hr and sees you struggling* Like i said , she don't care bout anyone other than herself* Time You start thinking of YOU* and try to get 1/2 the sale from that house*

Answer 2

What you need to do is see if the house she sold was in fact considered community property. You might be surprised at what rights you have in this investment. Get moving and get some legal advice. I think your problem is that you are too nice and your wife has learned to take advantage of you. She is selfish and selfish people most always find people they can use and sponge off from. Stop being the pushover she has come to see you as and stand firm and fight within your rights. Take care of this first, then go out and find that special someone who will apprecitate a good man as yourself. Do not waste another 16 years on this self centered selfish wife of yours. You can still maintain a relationship with your kids, and they will probaby be happy just to see you are happy too. Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

I would not stay just for the kids. I did that thinking it was best and it was not the best. When mine were 15 and 13 I got out of that same type of relationship (but I am female). You will be much happier in the long run even though it gets very difficult at first. Take her to court..and the law is in your favor. They will make her give up some of that money to help you pay the bills and you won't have to put the whole burden on you shoulders. She sounds like a very selfish biotch!! Good Luck

Answer 4

i would say she is very selfish and needs to be reminded that she is part of the family and her children will lose the home they are living in if she continues to act this way!
i understand the feeling of resentment towards her that's normal she needs a wake up call but know that when she wakes up she could walk away are you ready for that?its not right to stay together for the children they end up paying the price for this sacrifice of the parents being raised in a war zone.

Answer 5

you should leave before u get into debt is the best thing she is just using u so that she can live there for free i mean sell the house get a smaller place or something that u can afford ur kids are old enough to unerstand what is going on and make sure to tell them and show them that u will be there for them if they need u.

Answer 6

Look she doesn't care about you if she is unwiling to pay bills that keep a roof over her head. What is she saving money for that she is so unwilling to help with her own home? Sounds like she has other plans.....like leaving you.
I have no issues helping my husband with anything. that is what marriage is about, giving to each other to achieve life goals.

Answer 7

It is never the right thing to do to just stay for the kids. allthat will do is make them unhappy to see you and their mother fight or whatever it is that yall do. but never stay just for the kids.

Answer 8

you are not over reacting, she is being selfish and hmmmmm guess the best way to put it is a very crapy person!! leave her

Answer 9

Cut your losses, and get out now! She has used you long enough! You deserve better!!

Answer 10

sounds like you really should go..money is a pure substitute for going through your problems..life is too short..