I'm 29 and my boyfriend of 11 years is 40. my boyfriend has a habbit of going over to his friends and seems to forget to come home...he usaully rolls in between 5 and 6 in the morning..for 2 years now this has become an every other weekend thing...I have told him how it makes me feel and he says that he does not mean to he just simply looses track off time..he chooses to ignore my feelings regardless off the fight it causes constantly....he never wants to have sex and when we do its me that initiates it, he says he loves me but yet i wonder, does he love me or just stays because we have 2 kids????
2007-03-06 01:03:14 · 11 answers · asked by Bjg 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
but i know he is with my cousin, his best friend
2007-03-06 01:09:48 · update #1
he doesnt really care where or what i do
2007-03-06 01:20:25 · update #2
This is a relationship on the skids. You have two kids - maybe that is why he even comes home. But he's not married to you; you have not legal standing with him and so you and your kids lack benefits and legal rights that marriage would bring you. This is not good. He knows there is a lot he can get away with. He doesn't just lose track of time - he knows how you feel. But the bottom line is, and he knows this - what are you going to do about it?
I would think about what it would mean to be a single mom and look to a future that involves marriage with someone who loves you. You don't have that now. You're just holding on.
2007-03-09 19:44:03 · answer #1 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it may be time to have a heart to heart talk with the husband. I'm sure he still loves you, he's going through a kind of mid life crisis right now. If he's been doing this out all night thing for the past 2 years, it seems to have become a regular habit for both of you. If it bothered you that much, you should have put a stop to it when he first started it. I think you need to look past that and start looking at how he feels about himself and what's going on inside of him. Maybe you should start making a special plan for one night a week to be date night for the 2 of you. Do something to get closer again. It's worth the effort.
2007-03-06 01:09:45 · answer #2 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello friend.
1. pls follow him and see where he goes and what he does. better still, hire a detective for the same.
2. ask indirectly from his friends, mutual friends etc about him, somebody or the other is sure to drop a hint if something is wrong and if he is having an affair.
3. if there is no affair or anything, you are left with TWO problems only.
A. sex...can't give u much advice on tht. maybe he has a medical problem? urge is supposed to lessen at his age.
B. he doesn't care.... well, these issues can be resolved. TALK, TALK ,TALK to him, tell him ur problems, work it out, do special things for each other.
PLS DON'T SLEEP OVER THIS ISSUE ANYMORE.
do something.
also, try some mind relaxing activities like yoga, sahajayoga (go to www.sahajayoga.org, then u click on "experience it now"), REIKI etc.
best of luck, remember, one has to be BRAVE in order to survive in this cruel world.
2007-03-06 01:12:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what they say: if u love something let it go. how about u try something for a while that should have two positive effects?
Let him go out as much as he wants for as late as he wants and do not say a word about it for a while and if he asks, tell him he knows what u want and he is an adult enough to know what he is doing. Sometimes men enjoy extra attention to an abusive extent. The benefit of this experiement is: u can see for urself how he will feel if he is the one getting the cold shoulder.am not saying cold shoulder in the whole relationship-am talking about his coming late. keep the relationship warm but within limits. also take it as time-out for urself where u can consider, do u really like that life style? and it will also help u both calm down and finally are u considering marriage?
2007-03-06 01:12:06 · answer #4 · answered by kate07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to dog on him, but he is most probably cheating. It happenned to my cousin. You have to try to find out, and give him an alternative. Do you have a real good male friend? Maybe you can use him to freak your mate out. Let another man be in YOUR bed when he comes home. I just hope he is not a psycho, cause then it’s not an idea to follow. Honestly, do you really deserve this bull****? Please get out of this crap for your sanity, self-esteem, and that of your kids. Please, it’s hard at first,but good things will come...I promise.
2007-03-06 01:15:03 · answer #5 · answered by beatnik73 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a possible sign of cheating..especially if its as regular as u say...any other signs, like hanging up the phone when u walk into the room? has he been distant or has sex dropped off? does he always check on u to know where U are? all of these are classic signs of cheating..keep ur eyes open and make ur own decision
2007-03-06 01:07:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's just not right, i would be really pist too. why don't you try staying out all night and see how he likes it. i hate to say it but it sounds like you might be right and he's only staying b/c of the kids. i would say that youguys should really sit down and talk about your relationship, sounds like he might be cheating, good luck.
2007-03-06 01:09:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is cheating. Sorry
2007-03-06 01:06:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably found another 18 year old.
2007-03-06 01:08:25 · answer #9 · answered by Vegan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you letting him do this
he is Obviously cheating...
you need to confront him!
2007-03-06 01:08:08 · answer #10 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋