well let me see ive been married 18 years and now my wife says shes unhappy sometimes and i dont know why?

Question

were married 18 years i bend over backwards for her pay all bills wash clothes cook dishes clean house she works wid other guys alot of them we have 2 wonderful kids ones 18 other 14 older one is about to go to college and people say shes just in a rut to give her space what do yall think

Answer 1

I hate to sound like an advice columnist, but I really think you should consider counseling. There could be lots of underlying issues that she's repressing or just doesn't realize are affecting her. Maybe it IS just a rut, but I think you should find out for certain and find out if there is anything you both can do.

Good luck with everything!

Answer 2

Ive been married 16 yrs. paying her bills and bending over backwards for someone doesnt always fill the gap. about 10 years into my marriage i felt so lonely, just want to be held. its a feeling I dont know how to explain. Its like longing for something and not knowing what your longing for. It may be her own feelings, but it hurts you too. But dont give up on her just yet. It may not be another man, It may just be something she can work through. She many be feeling like she has been married forever and just needs some running space. If this is what it is, give her that space. Holding her back is only going to make it worse. You have been married for this long, she surely knows where to draw the line and not cross it.

Answer 3

She is probably thinking a lot about the oldest leaving home and then it won't be long until they are both on their own. Women go through a lot of emotions when dealing with that empty nest syndrome. It sounds like you do everything you can to be helpful physically around the house, but how about emotionally? Use some of your energy to really talk to your wife and pay some special attention to her now. The two of you need to hang onto each other as these changes come to past.

Answer 4

I think your both in a rut. Giving her some space may help, but time for you two alone is the best medicine. Stop doing all the household chores, you don`t want to appear weak. I`m sure these men she works with tell her you are. Talk, talk, talk! Find something fun you both enjoy doing.

Answer 5

Why are you the only one making an effort in this relationship? Seems that you do all the work while all she does is play,
stop being a house ***** and do something for yourself.
Sit her down and have a talk with her - to me is doesnt seem as though she can be unhappy having someone to do everything for her

Answer 6

You may not be able to change her mood. She could be clinically depress or a hormone in-balance. Encourage her to seek medical help.

With that said, we go through our daily lives and we sometimes develop tunnel vision. We don't see how other people in our lives need and appreciate us. What you can do is random act of kindness. Take her to her favorite restaurant; bring home a movie she wants to see; take her away for the weekend; bring home her favorite dessert; put a flower on her pillow. Let her know that she is still special to you and to your family.

Answer 7

Perhaps find that spark again that you had at the start,you need to sit her down and ask her what makes her unhappy and how she can change that.It might be something simple like her taking up an evening class, don't just sit back talk to her.You need to know the source before you have any chance of moving forwards.

Answer 8

Honestly, it sounds like a setting for an affair. I know how your wife feels and it sounds like she needs some counseling to figure things out. BUT, she won't like hearing that from you. So, in my opinion, suggest marriage counseling. Tell her that it's something for BOTH of you.
Also, stop being such a doormat!! You're in a partnership-she should be doing at least half the work at home. The more you do for her, the more she'll pull away. Women like to be put on a pedalstal, but they don't like to be worshipped and catered to like you have no self worth. Women like MEN. I'm not trying to be hurtful-I just want it to work for you two.

Answer 9

Perhaps your attacking the wrong problem. Everyone has whats called 'love languages', the way that they communicate love to others. By the sound of it, your love language is 'Acts of service'.

There are five of them:
* Words of Affirmation
* Quality Time
* Receiving Gifts
* Acts of Service
* Physical Touch

You should try to work out what love language your wife speaks, and then learn to speak that language. If its gifts, spoil her. If its quality time, go for dinner or a walk.

Answer 10

i think she is responsible for her own mind set and if she wants happiness she will gain it by letting herself be happy.sometimes we are unhappy and that's normal but sometimes we feel lost and that's a problem.This is truly something that only she can work out and you are not in charge of entertainment so she will have to look with in herself to find the peace she's searching for.If another person is not involved and the marriage is good then she can work through this period if,if, that's what she wants.