How can i help my boyfriend please help???
Can i do anything about my partners low sex drive?
my partner and i have been together for just over a six, and in almost every area our relationship is perfect. Unfortunately we have very different sex drives. I have a high sex drive and my partner doesnt. as a result the amount of sex we have has gradually decreased over the past year.
Its got to the point now where i feel guilty for wanting to have sex at all. my partner works long hours, and as a result is very tired. we also have a 3 year old little boy
I just dont know what to do anymore. i feel like i am constantly compromising my wants. i find that i feel very insecure and frustrated as well as rejected if i make a move on him and he is too tired. how do i deal with these feelings, is there anything i can do to either reduce my own sex drive or to increase my boyfriends? im getting desperate!!!
I also have a full time job and we are only 25!!!
2007-03-06 00:53:12 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
I have the same problem with my boyfriend! I'm 23 and he's 25 and we've been together 4 years and all is well, but he just doesn't seem to want it anymore! It's made me really insecure too and I really feel like I must be inadequate. I've done everything I can think of to try to turn things around - being a man of course he won't talk about it, at first I thought it was just a phase or maybe depression, but it's been a year and a half and his mood is a lot better now (he was a bit depressed) but no change in the bedroom. I've tried different toys, dressing up etc. but not much has helped. One thing that was good was that I got a game called lust for valentines day - it's a board game that gets you to talk about how you feel about each other and what you want to do etc. - that was a good night, but he's not played it with me since - he says it's stupid! I'm coming to think he's just a bit lazy (not meaning that to be mean to him!) - at home he just sits about and watches tv - he's not got much of a social life and is terrified of trying anything new - if I try to push him he gets anoyed and cos I'm already insecure I don't want to push him too far. We still have good fun when the tv is switched off and he'll go out to dinner with me but that's as far as his social life goes - I'm v tempted to throw away the tv!
Anyway, sorry - the point in all my babbeling is that I've got the same problem as you and I'm v happy to find that I'm not alone in this! Sorry I don't have much suggestions about what to do about it! Will you mail me (click my name to the left) if you find anything that works or just wanna chat? I'm v happy that I'm not the only one!!! xx
2007-03-06 04:58:20 · answer #1 · answered by Cathy :) 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im the same, I have a high sex drive and my partner has a low one, he works alot and varies in shift's with him working nights one week and mornings the next, so when he is working nights I dont get any and when he is working days he is usually too tiered which means I can wait as long as a month before I get any! It can be frustrating, I ended up going to ann summers and getting my self some stuff to pleasure me when he isnt around, its not as good but it helps take that edge away and you will find you wont be asking him as much
2007-03-06 01:00:42 · answer #2 · answered by crazyicklepwincess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to put himself in your position, then he might understand the pain and insecurity that being "rejected" builds. Make some time for the two of you, get a babysitter or have someone take your son for the weekend, then use the time to "remember" why you got together in the first place. It can be resolved, you can have differing sex drives and still have a good relationship, it just takes some give and take and a hell of a lot of hard work.
Best wishes to both of you.
2007-03-06 00:59:37 · answer #3 · answered by lululaluau 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you're right...you do have a problem. sexual incompatibility can be a terrible obstacle to overcome - if ever at all.
At 25, that's just way too young to hang up the stirrups, but if your partner can't or won't rise to the occasion, what can you do? It's a very sensitive issue and very difficult to know what to do.
If you tolerate it you'll be frustrated which could easily turn to resentment. And sex toys or novelties can only do the job for so long. Eventually you'll crave intimacy and no battery operated device can give you that.
Obviously you'll both need professional counseling to deal with this issue. It may be that a sexual surrogate could be helpful.
Get help luv! God bless.
2007-03-06 00:57:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
omg.. i have exactly the same problem, i want it all the time and im lucky if i get anythin!! its got to about once a month now and it drives me crazy!!! i also feel uilty if i try and start anythin butive stopped now coz every time i tried and he aid no the rejection was awful, we dont have children tho. i dont know what else to try its got really bad, im just glad there are other ppl out there who are havin the same trouble. hope it all works out 4 ya.
2007-03-06 01:02:14 · answer #5 · answered by binxyuk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really love him you will try anything to make this work and you should really try to get help from a trained professional you really seem like you want to make it work so find time to go to counseling . they are right it will only get worse as the time goes bye. and you shouldn't have to be the only one to suffer. he should at least do it to make you happy ounce in a while.
Best of Luck to you! Hope it works out
2007-03-06 01:52:34 · answer #6 · answered by Firefighter_2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It causes more splits than it gets credit for! most problems in marriage are either debt or sexual inadequities not being funny but have you tried to pleasure yourself with sex toys/aids some women seem to prefer it nowadays.
2007-03-06 01:17:42 · answer #7 · answered by richiesown 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Viagra from your local pharmacy .
2007-03-06 04:16:19 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs E Cullen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BOTH OF YOU GO AND SEE YOUR G.P.SIT AND TALK TOGETHER ---TRY AND SOLVE THE PROBLEM AS IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE. GOOD LUCK.
2007-03-06 01:08:11 · answer #9 · answered by mother 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh you poor thing. Just get a vibrator.
2007-03-06 01:05:53 · answer #10 · answered by Jewel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋