What picks you up?

Question

Im going thorugh a rough time at the moment friends arguing again! my mum and me have fallen out, im in a terrible amount of debt and having a real hard time, being stuck in a dead where i dont particually get on with anyone as i am 20 and the youngest in the office everyone else is about 30 and look down on me no matter how good my achievements and im having trouble getting over my fiance who i broke up with 4 months ago i just need some advice on how to pick me up again

Answer 1

Hi Chel:
You have had a rough time haven't you?
I understand completely.
Here is my advice:

1. Make up with your mother, or at least to agree to disagree. You need her support right now, and explain to her what all is going on in your life.

2. Ignore the people in your office. They are obviously jealous and you do not have to be best friends with them. But you need a job so don't fuss with them. Ignore them.

3. Take on another job to help alleviate some of your debt.

4.Put some distance and emotional boundaries on any of your friends that are fighting and bothering you.

5. The hardest thing too do is get over a broken-heart. Since your fiance broke up with you, you will need time and you need to focus on your healing, but try working out every day for 30 minutes. Try and lose yourself in physical activity, because you will feel good, and lose some nervous energy. Also treat yourself to a bubble-bath at least 3x a week. And dring some red-wine.

Chel everything seems like it's piling up, but you just need to gain some perspective and re-prioritize your life right now. Try keeping a diary and making some goals. Write them in your diary and start working on them daily. You will feel better.
If you need a friend, email me.
Good luck!!

Answer 2

The oppressive feeling of debt can certainly suck the joy out of life, can't it? Of all the problems you have, it is the easiest and least painful one to deal with - all you have to do is budget and pay it off with a set amount each week. I'm going to suggest something that sounds like it might be more stressful - but it might also solve some of your problems: get a small part-time job on the weekend or a few nights each week. You can make it a goal - to find something that you actually think you might really love - and then search really hard for an opportunity to do it part-time, even if you just start out doing it on a volunteer basis.
For example, if you love animals more than anything, do you think you could keep looking, and eventually find, some small job working with animals (a vet's office, a petting zoo, stables, etc.)?
This is just an example: if you can resist the temptation of liquor, are you old enough to work as a waitress or bartender and work with a group of people near your age and get to know some new friends that way? Not to mention the fact that you are working with people more and you might enjoy that for its own merits?
Then automatically take that pay from that little job and contribute to paying off your debt.
The debt will go away that much faster. You will enjoy yourself more in that new work place but during the week, you will still have the stability and benefits of your week job. Over time, things will change. Your work place might not seem so oppressive when you are having some enjoyment at a fun job. Fun jobs tend to pay crap but over time, there's always the possibility that that will change, too.
You'll be showing your mum how hard you can work. Maybe you'll just be spending less time arguing with her.
Keep to that budget - or it will all be wasted because you will slide back from making any progress with money.
Don't stop yourself from having your regular fun - dates, meeting friends.
You'll forget about your fiance faster because you are busier too!
Good luck!

Answer 3

Start on a new leaf. Work harder, and budget your money. Spend a bit less every week, and pay off some of the debt, or store the money somewhere until you have enough to pay the debt off. Once your done with the debt, don't go into debt again. This is all about budget. Don't buy all this expensive stuff that you know that you can't afford.

Answer 4

Music, picks me up. Especially jazz because it is so upbeat and positive. I never get tired of listening to jazz. It make me want to wish I was at a Jazz Concert with all the cool people such as myself. Go have fun. One monkey don't stop no show. You have plenty of time to meet new people. Enjoy being single for now. The rest will fall in place. You are still young and it is yours for the asking.

Answer 5

you poor girl,talk to your mum,and try to sort it out,you know the saying:no one will love you like your family.it's true.first of all if the debt is too much speak to your loan company and try to come to some sort of an arrangement .then sort out how much you can afford to pay each wk/month.do you like your job,dose it pay good,if no get another job,no one should make your job miserable or uncomfortable for you at your job.as for the Fiance,you need to detox him from your life,their are plenty more fish in the sea.go out and meet new people,(friends),watch your favorite dvd.talk to someone about what your going through,clear the burden of your chest.hope this helps.

Answer 6

Whenever we go through a hard time in our lives we tend to stop and see things negatively. It's ok to feel depressed and down at a time. But feeling hopeless for a long time is not healthy for our whole being. Try to sit down in a park and observe the people around you..You will see that you are very much blessed compared to others: those whose loved-one died, people who beg for money, homeless people, beggars, people with no hands, feet or blind, deaf and worst dying. Try to see the blessings that God gave you. You may have lost things and people in life but it's not the end. Try to look at your problems one at a time. And most of all it is in these moments that we should be closer to God, whomever you percieve him to be. Be at peace and pray. He is closer to you now if you open your heart. He will definitely show the way. Remember "God asks only one thing from us and that is our complete surrender"... God bless and keep you.

Answer 7

I'm going to tell you something that a wise old man once told me that really stuck with me. He said, " Your happiness has to come from within yourself. It can't be dependent of the actions of the people around you. This way, you are ALWAYS happy and no one can get you down." By the way, I have this inward happiness...it wells up from deep within me. I've been through much worse than you...and because of my independent, inward happiness that no one can take away from me...I'm STILL a happy person. That which does not kill us...makes us stronger.

I hope this helps:)

Answer 8

Church is the best pickup I could ever get. There is nothing like the knowledge of someone who loves me unconditionally and will never turn his back on me when I need him.

Those who call upon the Lord shall be saved.

Answer 9

first things first, everyone has problems. and i know of someone who can take away your problems and help you! He is Jesus. Go ask a friend about Jesus. See how joyful your friend is. im 20yrs old too also, and i'm enjoying every bit of my relationship with Jesus, though i have problems like yours too. when you have Jesus, everything else is secondary (money, fame, popularity)

Answer 10

go for a nice walk by the river, lake or meddle and get in touch with nature.