how to get back on track, to a happy marriage?

Question

after finding my husband, had been in contact with his ex- girlfriend really was heart ripping for me, he explained it was that he was wanting answer's to something that happened when they were together. thing is he still want's to keep in contact, part of me wants to tell him to leave it, another part, say's he love's me trust him. we are starting over again, but i do get upset when he gets texts from her or her brother. i have asked to met her and her family, and i was surprized when he said ok, but does anyone out there, have any ideas of getting my happy marriage back, which we did have until this. and yes it was happy

Answer 1

I can understand him wanting answers - bcos those answers could help him to understand things about himself, But to keep in touch - NO WAY .

If it's hurting you, he shldnt do it. If he's willing to hurt you- theres more to this x girlfriend than meets the eye.

It must b so difficult for you.

Forget the crap that it's about whether you trust him or not - your trust shldnt b being put to the test over sum x girlfriend - sectretly she cld b laughing at you planning her nxt move on how to get him back.

You could be put thru so much unecessary pain bcos of this - i wld tell him u need him to steer clear of this girl - and see if she hounds him, if she does , she is looking to make sumthing of this - then u can put the ball in his court - if he wants to mke sumthin of it - at least you'l b 1 step ahead of this stupid girls game.

I hope he loves you and you can get yr happy life together bk again, GOOD LUK *

Answer 2

i know this must be difficult for you, but why dose he need answers for something that's ended. If he meets up with her again you should go to , as his wife as his friend and support. Think why there relationship ended he is with you now and the grass is never greener on the other side if he wanted her then why did he marry you its you he wants and not her. Just for the time being make a little bit more effort, to show him what he as got is better than everything or anyone else show to him and prove to him that your marriage is as strong as ever make time for each other . Do little romantic evenings candles wine lovely meal sexy underwear the lot.. you know what i mean. hes yours girl and don't let no ex come and take whats yours she had her time and she failed its yours now. Good luck and all the best for the future.x

Answer 3

Maybe you should find a way how to spend more time with him and do things you were doing in first period of your marriage. I don't know... maybe some dinner in restaurant, meeting old friends, even simple stroll together. You have to demand his focus on you. He is your husband so he has duties to care about you and fulfil your needs. I believe you will work things out and maybe you will find more helpful answers here on Q&A... You were happy so you can make it back.

Answer 4

Im sorry, but unless they have kids together, I do not see any reason for them staying in contact. She was his girlfriend, you are his wife and that takes presedence in my book! I would ask him to tell you in full exactly what information can be so important that he still needs to keep in contact with her? I think only you can answer your question. Is him staying in contact with her going to get your happy marriage back? Only him or you can change that. Good luck x

Answer 5

i imagine creating particular you do the belongings you probably did once you've been falling in love is a good suggestion. Laughter is marvelous, too. i recognize my marriage and my existence with my husband, yet each now and then it truly is really ordinary to get stuck up in baseball, babies, housework and each and each of the familiar stuff that I have a tendency to ignore my husband (and vise versa). I usually note this taking position after I get disenchanted over little issues...it truly is like an illustration that we are no longer spending sufficient time jointly. easily everyone needs to nurture their marriage, without or with babies. it truly is alright to take time for only you and your better 1/2. in my view, it truly is needed.

Answer 6

Hi, friend.
According to me, you have only these options.
1. Grin and bear it. Go with the flow, let ur hubby introduce you to her n her family. It will cause u unncessary pain on many occasions. you can also, thru keen observation find out if anything is still going between them or not.
HOW COULD UR HUSBAND RISK HIS MARRIAGE FOR AN EX?????????????? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
2. talk it out with him. if he can't leave her, then you leave him. it happens to people, it will happen again. you will go thru sheer hell, but believe me, u will SURVIVE.
3. take a BOY in ur confidence, a friend's brother or a friend's fiance (with whom YOU dont have an emotional attatchment with). PRETEND that he is ur ex and you want to continue ur innocent friendship with him. THEN WHEN UR HUBBY HAS STEWED IN HIS OWN JUICE FOR A WHILE, tell him the truth, or better still, don't...let him run after you. how dare he take u for granted??
see, ur in this situation, you know BEST if ur hubby is innocent or not. USUALLY MEN AREN'T.
take care , do some mind relaxing activities like YOGA, REIKI, SAHAJAYOGA(www.sahajayoga.org......then click on "experience it now") etc.

Answer 7

it does sound like he does have some feelings for her but they can go away ,if i were you i would not dwell on the subject to long maybe you should meet her and if you do meet dont treat her as if she is out to steal your man. because i think the jealousy will bring you apart ive always said you should know your friends and you should knowyour enemys more. what is it that happened between them?if you are happy , put yourself in his shoesyou should be able to see why he still needs to have contact it sounds like me and my ex when ever she brings her up there is just tension between us if your happy i wouldnt worry to much about it just focas more on keeping it that way then expending any energy on her. good luck

Answer 8

You have to make a choice here. Do you trust your husband or not? If you do then what are you worried about? If not then you need to leave. Just because we marry some one dose not give us the right to tell them who they may talk to after all they are our other half not our child.

Answer 9

Marriage relation needs the cooperation and willingness of the couple to make it work. "It take to hands to Clap"

If the other one is not cooperative and does not care about the feelings of his/her couple then it won't work.

Trust, Respect and Love are the most important ingredient for a happy marriage.

Answer 10

tell him how this makes you feel if you haven't already.
He can be in contact with her brother, but should not be keeping direct contact with her.
That is disrespectful to you and if he cares one iota for you, he will discontinue it asap.
This is not healthy and not right.
If he persists, I wouldn't be with him.
It is not about your jealousy my dear, it is about him blatently disrespecting you and this union.
Don't take on his stuff, this is his choice for unacceptable behaviour not yours. Don't own it.
He should have ended everything between them before he moved on in life. That is his fault not yours.
You should not be made to sit by and watch him clean up his past garbage. That is truly shameful on his part and tells me he is not who you think he is.......
Look for red flags my dear...... don't put on blinders..... you have a right to be upset.....
There will be no happy marriage until he rectifys this situation and cuts all ties for the sake of your marriage......If he refuses, you have your answer.
By the way how many more past girlfriends will he want to resolve issues with??? Ask yourself that one...
This is terminal bs.