Hi everyone, hope you can help me sort my head out. My ex & i split up at Xmas, we'd lived together for about 18mnths. Neither of us wanted it to happen, but it seemed to be the only way at the time. I needed to change many things in my life, and such a drastic move has made me do it & i feel better for it. We were in very regular contact up to 4 wks ago and i felt positive we could move on when out of the blue he told me he didnt want to get hurt again, or move back in at the moment. Contact has cooled between us and i have thought he was seeing someone else, which he's always denied. I know he loves me but why won't he give me the chance to prove to him that things have changed and we have something special thats worth saving? Do I keep in contact with him or back off, i'm just so scared if i don't keep in touch with him he'll think i dont care and back off even more. I am in pieces and cant think straight so am hoping to get some food for thought from anyone out there. thanks
2007-03-05 23:46:09 · 17 answers · asked by Mrs Squarepants 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Unless you have done something really really bad to hurt his feelings... you have 2 paths before you... on one path (the easy one) you give up and walk away from the relationship... you have to emotionally make yourself move on... this other path (the more difficult of the 2) you have to analyze your flaws... and show him that you have changed... actions are much louder than any words after all... you will have to show him that you are dedicated to making him happy... that should in turn bring you joy... the danger in this second path comes in the form of your partner sometimes subconsciously taking advantage of your dedication... so just be watch full and the most important thing is to determine how your feeling at that time and communicate your feelings to him... he won't know unless you talk to him... the choice is yours to make... and either way you will be able to eventually recover and build something new
2007-03-06 00:04:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to get back your ex is https://tr.im/bKEMp
Here's the hard part: Pretend she never existed, like it was all a dream, don't call her, that will make you the smaller person, be the bigger person since you deserve better, what she did to you on Valentines Day was immature, especially after dating for four years. This person wasted allot of your time and through it out the window. Go out tonight, even it it is only yourself, don't drink and call or feel sorry for yourself, this will only cause you embarrassment! I know your hurting..This will eventually will go away in time. Today is not a good day for you and your emotions are spinning all over the place.
Please, whatever you do, don't answer her calls and don't call her. If she keeps calling, which she pro bally won't, don't return her call for 5 days. Make her sweat and DO Not get back together right away if you discuss this in 5 days. Tell her since she Broke up with you, you have done allot of thinking, and had the taste of "being single again" and you would like more time being "friends" for now, so you are sure you are making the right decision. Remember "She decided she didn't want to be with you" so the door is open for you to get out and see what you have been missing for four years. You honestly need to do this for yourself.
She doesn't know, but what she did was give you the best valentines day present you will ever get! A new start and a new beginning, use it to your advantage. You will look back on this and Thank God this happened now instead of 4 more wasted years of YOUR life. Today does suck, stay Strong and I promise you your life is going to be so much more exciting and you are going to be happy. If you continue to call and call her, she will think of you as needy and won't want you. She is going to rethink what she did to you today and will be hurt, if you act like you could care less. Girls always want the ones they can't have. That is who you are now to her. Let her suffer,realizing what a mistake she made. This will drive her crazy. Right now she is on cloud 9 thinking you will take her back, OH, is she stupid!
Your life isn't ruined, hers is..She lost someone special, and gave you a gift to let to live life and find someone you deserve. You are not getting back at her, your teaching her what an idiot she is and what she lost and what you gained without her. SO when You eventually talk to her, tell her thank you for what she did...
She will be hurt and you will be happy!
2016-07-19 16:48:25 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really haven't told us too much so a really good answer is just about impossible. From your question I get the feeling that you are an overly clingy girlfreind and i sense that either the ex is uncomfortable with this, I think too that your ex is finding things moving too fast for him and he wants you to slow down. Here's what I suggest you try. get together with your BF, in a cool calm voice with no tears, tell him you love him dearly, so much so that you are going to move aside and work on our issues, that while you will not be calling him anymore, you would most definately love to hear from him and would be prepared to resume your relationship at a much slower pace, if that what he wants, when he feels up to it.
2007-03-06 00:05:00 · answer #3 · answered by al b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/Jroom
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
2016-04-27 19:55:26 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should move on. Back off, and cool the contact completely.
Maybe he's just thinking things through, in which case he'll contact you, when he feels it's right.
If he doesn't contact you, maybe you weren't as right for each other as you think. You should instead cherish the time you spent together, and try to move on.
Hope that helps.
2007-03-06 03:21:00 · answer #5 · answered by lady_lorj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there done that twice now know how you feel we broke up end of august he said it was for defiente this time he kept coming over we have kids we got on really great i never gave up on us kept on trying to prove i wouldn't hurt him again (never cheated or anything) i knew he loved me but said for us and children better just being friends got on great you see. But then finally just before xmas he came back its true what other people say you may hurt him again but if you love each other its worth a shot. I'm trying really hard to sort my past nightmares out to stop them affecting my relationship. its hard and i do slip back and come over all funny but comminacation is the key.
good luck hen stick at it. hope it works out for you.
2007-03-05 23:59:15 · answer #6 · answered by curiouskel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
> he couldn't easily trust you again because, remember that you sort of broke his heart. and for trust to be brought back, it takes time. So, don't expect that it would happen in a sudden.. by while he is still healing in this time.. is suggest you should show him taht you still do love him.. and try explaining to him why you did break up with him.. hope this helps.. :)
2007-03-05 23:54:02 · answer #7 · answered by jammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can understand were your comeing from, but you have to trust him and give him time, sit back and look at the situation, think b4 u act, and prove your self 2 him, if he really loves you and you really love him, then it will work its way to the rite place soon, give it time. Gooud look x
2007-03-05 23:52:20 · answer #8 · answered by love_me_im_sweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2017-03-03 13:22:02 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to see each other as freinds for a while, that way he will be able to see if you have changed. If he does not want this, you will have to accept it and move on
2007-03-05 23:49:40 · answer #10 · answered by L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋