My book is going to be online in a month but I want to make sure it is as perfect as it can be! I wrote 1 1/2 chapters so far. The first chapter is here (file:///Users/student/Desktop/Hearing%20through%20the%20Silence1.htm)
2007-03-05 23:26:09 · 5 answers · asked by --; cookie. 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
The story has been moved to here because the first link doesnt work :
http://hearingthroughtthesilence.blogspot.com/
2007-03-05 23:31:38 · update #1
I am not taking it into offence because the prologue is only supposed to say she for that story...if you would of read the rest you would of found out that it is better than the prologue but oh well
2007-03-06 00:55:38 · update #2
Whether you start your story with a Prologue (spelled correctly) or Chapter One, your first sentence and paragraph should be a hook that lures the reader to want to continue reading.
Also, I'm not sure you understand the purpose of a prologue. Yours is vague and has no real hook.
A prologue is typically an introductory or preceding event or development in the story.
I was not compelled to read further.
2007-03-06 02:37:04 · answer #1 · answered by §Sally§ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The word is "Prologue". When the first word of your story is spelled wrong, this is a bad sign.
Your first sentence is in the first person. Your second sentence is in the third person. You also change between the present and past tense about four times in your opening paragraph.
You are fixated on starting every sentence with "she".
In short, as a publisher, I stopped reading after the first paragraph. This story is nowhere near ready for publication.
Before someone whines that I am being picky and should focus on the story, let me give you all a reality check.
As a writer, words, grammar, punctuation...these are the tools of your trade. And like any tradesperson, in order to perform your trade you must demonstrate that you know how to use the tools. If you cannot construct a sentence, you cannot write. Just like a doctor that doesn't know how to read a medical chart cannot treat a patient. I don't care how much the doctor wants to help the patient. If he doesn't know how to use the tools he will fail. If a mechanic does not know how to use the tools, he can't fix your engine. And if a writer does not know how to use the tools, he cannot tell an effective story.
It is not the job of the reader to decipher what you mean. It is your job as a writer to convey your message clearly so the story can be told. You have not done this.
2007-03-06 00:35:14 · answer #2 · answered by bardsandsages 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it was boring.
but for a 13 year old girl.. it' good that you try to write and allow others to comment on your work. way to go.
2007-03-06 01:04:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like it
can`t wait to read the rest
2007-03-05 23:30:04 · answer #4 · answered by Dr Universe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I,ll read when u finish all...... just finish it.
2007-03-05 23:36:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋