the marriage has stagnated to an unfixable situation?

Question

marraige has become stagnated , from separation then return..
we have two kids together , and had 2 years of pretty good marraige , but when i tried to take my mrs away from where her family were for work which was to set us up , the family began to destroy the marraige . and they succedded by getting her back , where i then decided to call it a day , we then have gone through court , where I lost everything , and we were apart for 9 months , then Ihave returned and gave it a go for the kids , but now the situation has reverted to an unfixable situation, where the past has come to haunt me , and now i resent my wife because now we cannot rebuild , she lives in her parents house , and her parents have control over me , because we rent there house , i know it isnt natuaral , i dont hate my mrs , but it seems this marraige just isnt going to work , as all efforts to love her have failed. she was married before , if i pull the pin , do you pick the same problems after it is over in thenew

Answer 1

It sounds like you've been dragged through the mud one too many times! You've made up your MIND, so it seems...or you're just to scared to leave with out making that last attempt. You're giving it all you can and it's not making you one step closer to feeling like your marriage is improving. It goes with that saying, "It's not you, it's me"...in your case, it's definitely her, not you. If she truly wants to rekindle whats left of your marriage, she has to leave her family out of it...COMPLETELY! She has to start making some of the same efforts you're making. A fresh start would be to get out of the parents house, if not you're just running on a hamster wheel. It's obvious that she will never stand up for what she feels towards you with her family so far up her ass. Either she has to be in it as much as you are or there is no hope for reconciliation. Honestly, I would slow down on your efforts and take a step back to see how much effort SHE is really putting into all this. Take it from there...if she is not wanting the same future you want, then all there is for you to do is walk away with your dignity in knowing you tried. Always be there for the kids no matter the hell you have to go through...in the end you'll be the one they'll look up to. Good Luck!

Answer 2

I can relate to your situation. I hated my inlaws they were always in my business telling my husband what, when, where, and why, and in his eyes they were always right. I never got along with his mother not even in the begining we have children together. I finally thought it was over. We seperated for 2 years he moved home with mommy. We remained on contact did things as parents would do for there kids for 2 years. I decided just as you said to try it again for the kids. That was my biggest mistake it was deja vu. Never stay together for the sake of the kids we got divorced 3 months later. Things were over the first time we split up we only hurt the kids by trying again. good luck

Answer 3

hi. every problem has a solution.
tell urself this 1000 times daily.
pls get financially independent.
do NOT take favours from the in laws.
DO NOT DO THINGS 1/2 HEARTEDLY. put ur best foot forward.
give ur wife an ULTIMATUM.
TALK to her. effective communication is the best key to such problems.
give her TIME to think.
if u all can sort it out, fine, otherwise MOVE ON.
no 3rd party, whether its parents or friends have any right to interfere.
'all the best

Answer 4

Just let her go.sounds like my ex son in law. they wont change and you cant live down the past nothing you do will be good enough trust me my daughter tried and she lost everything because he moved to the Indian reservation and because they are Indian he gets it all. so move on and find someone who loves you for you. some day the kids will know you tried and mom didn't want to. so live for that day as i tell my daughter. karma is a *itch and comes back three fold

Answer 5

You need to find another way to fix this. You start by getting her out of parents' house and being together instead of apart. You won't fix anything if there is still room for doubt for either of you. You say you don't hate her but you sure sound like it and like you are trying to get back at her instead of with her. You need to make up your mind before you do anything to futher damage this relationship.

Answer 6

You should marry her again and since she now has everything you use to own, you can probably recoup some of it in a new divorce.

Answer 7

Wrong priorities create the problem.

Answer 8

perhaps you need to get some professional help...move on and good luck

Answer 9

move on.