I have and it was a realIy bad experience I could do with having a sit down, and a REALLY good chat with this friend, but I know I won't as I'm too stubborn, and I feel that everything that I tell her, will go back to this other friend, who I don't trust!
So I'm stuck in a dilemma, do I speak to this friend, or just carry on making 'polite' conversation?
She might not realise it, but it's really upsetting me, as we used to be really close!
2007-03-05 21:50:21 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
HI,
This is your lucky day, I have had fallings out with lots of friends I use to be close with , one was because she did do some talking behind my back and I got wind of it. I just slowly pulled my self away from that friendship, by being very busy and doing things that got me involved with other people . She did ask me once why I never sit with her for a cup of coffee anymore, so I told her what I had heard from someone and she tried to deny it , but the truth came out eventually. If you really miss this friend then I suggest you tell her what your worried about without telling her your problem.
If she has already broken your trust and your still willing to give her a second chance then tell her a little white lie and see if it gets around to the other person you dont trust, but make sure you don't tell anyone else about it . Give it more than a couple weeks though to see if it got around.
I have also lost another friend that I thought I was close to , but it must have been onesided . She just quit talking to me one day , wouldn't answer my calls and this is the funny part her daughter was working for us so she could earn some extra money . Her daughter still talks to me and she has started to but , I will not open myself up for that kind of hurt again. If I was a lousy friend or did something to upset her she should have told me , so I could apologize or do something to fix it. I am sharing this with you so that you will not lose her the way my x friend lost me .
Tell her , trust me it is better to get things out in the open that way you and your friend will have closure if it is not meant to be.
Someone told me once that God lets people into your life at certain times and for a certain period. Sometimes they are put there to help you in that moment of your life and others are put there for ever with the proper nurturing . For each person you lose ,someone new will be coming around the corner.
lol... but if your just siiting at home all the time and your house is round , the corner part of it might take along time. By the way the start of this might not have sounded too promising for you...lol....
your probably thinking I am nuts to be giving advice or a really sucky friend.
Hope this helps,
Oneluckydog
2007-03-05 22:51:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ten years ago I had a massive falling out with my best friend - we'd been buddies since we were toddlers and I saw twenty years of friendship go out of the window.
Pride, stubborness - call it what you will - I never rang her and she never rang me. In the first few weeks it would have been simple to ring and make it up, but we didn't. And, as time got on, it got harder to make that first phone call and now, ten years later, we have never spoken. I have other friends but there's still a gap where she was. During that time, I have married, my parents have both died, there's been ups and downs - all stuff that needs a best friend by you and she wasn't there. And I haven't been there for her.
And now, ten years later, I don't even know where she lives. I can't even remember what the argument was about - that's how stupid it was.
My advice to you is: if this friendship is really important to you, put your pride aside and make the first move. Repair this breach before it is too late. If you don't you may end up losing that friend altogether and, like me, regret it for many years to come.
Good luck.
2007-03-05 23:07:26 · answer #2 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly yes, over something really silly, on her part, superstition!! We had not seen each other for many years separated by great distance then one day I got to her part of the world & we had a great time for a few days. I was so happy & so enjoyed being with my best friend I went back after 2 months, ignoring the high expenditure of air fare, hotel, etc. But this time she won't even agree to see me! When I pressed for an explanation, she coldly told me that she had been doing very well on the stock market until our meeting the time before, then encountered bad luck not only in the shares but suffered bad health. I am apparently jinx for her!!!
I would talk, call, write, beg & do anything to keep a good friend. But not in this case. I don't believe you can change someone's very firm belief in superstition. If, in your case, it's over any other reason, you should do everything you can to make up with him / her, even if it means you have to sacrifice your pride. Real true friendship is hard to come by & worth every effort to keep.
2007-03-06 00:40:19 · answer #3 · answered by MoiMoii 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I've 'fallen out' with a close friend. Most people have at least one time in their lives. It's probably upsetting to your friend, too. Just continue to be polite and wait a couple of weeks before saying anything.
2007-03-05 21:54:02 · answer #4 · answered by Movielota 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I fell out with a friend over her husband to be they are now married and I haven't seen her in about two years. I miss her but too much has gone under the bridge. Don't let that happen. speak to her and if she does just go straight to the other person then maybe you should just let her go.
2007-03-05 22:01:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep but it was more of a drift than a fall out. Sadly thats just the way it is with friends and it gets worse the older you get. When you find a good one, its worth trying hard to make it work
2007-03-05 22:23:54 · answer #6 · answered by spiro_sea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, when she sleep with the man I was living with. The only true way you can be best friends again is to be totally honest with each other and then forgive and forget. If either of these stay on your plate, then move on.
2007-03-05 23:41:14 · answer #7 · answered by judy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Somebody told me, "marry your bestfriend". Your friends knows you more than a stranger. Your close friend know what your likes and dislikes. Rather than fall for a stranger that when that stranger discover your dislike, suddenly left you. For a close friend at least He can manage you whenever you don't like something and understands you for that. Just overcome your overpopularity with your friend and plainly admit it.
2007-03-05 23:03:40 · answer #8 · answered by dreamer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are times when friends can be childish and immature--so keep it light and don't tell anyone anything if you don't expect to hear that it got around.
2007-03-05 22:15:09 · answer #9 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oneluckdog is right sometimes the worst mistake people do is to do nothing...either you or the friend. both of you can't talk about it then your friendship will come to an end.
2007-03-06 01:39:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋