She looks like my mother. How should I tell her I want to be alone?

Question

I hv a friend. She looks old. she looks like my mother though she is younger to me.
B4 I do not used to pay heed but now my family members when ever see her says, she looks old or something like that.
She is a good friend but now I dont feel like talking to her or meet her.
I think I need to be somedays without talking to her so that I can come up with a solution as to what to do with this problem.
I dont want to be rude to her and say that she looks old.
But I dont feel like talking to her. What shall I do? how should I tell her that I need sometime to be alone.
Right now, I dont feel like being her friend I know its very bad thing but every1 has just brain washed me and now I need time to decided whether I want to be her friend or not any more.
please help!!

Answer 1

A friend is a friend because they support you and care about you and in return you do the same. A friend is someone you call when you need a chat and the person who cries on your shoulder when they are down. I think you need to consider what it is that makes a friend, because what they look like does not impair their ability to be a good friend. Pay less heed to what everyone else says and think for yourself or you will lose this friend forever.

Answer 2

Tell her the relationship is not working for you.

It's quite painfully obvious that you are more concerned with how others perceive the two of you than how you perceive her. But that doesn't matter beyond the fact that that stupid, little, tiny, insignificant thing is enough to make you not want to be around her.

Her age and/or appearance may not even be the real issue. There may be some or even, many other things that make it so that the two of you are not a good fit.

But you are not a good fit. You've realized this. It'll hurt to break it off but it always does unless you're a sociopath.

Suck it up and bear the hurt. Be honest in saying you just don't feel "that way" toward her anymore but no need to say she looks too old. Saying that would go back to the sociopath thing. It'd just hurt her needlessly.

Chemistry. It's that indefinable thing that makes a relationship work. You don't have it. It is no ones fault. You just don't match each others' needs/desires enough. Better if you are both free to find the person who does.

Answer 3

I don't understand why it matters what she looks like. Is she a platonic friend or are you dating her? I don't get it. Even if she was old, you could still be friends if you have things in common. You say that she is younger than you but just happens to look older. So what does it matter? Would you stop being friends with someone because they're not attractive, or because they're overweight or anything else? Real friendship is about liking who the person is on the inside. It's nothing to do with anything superficial like how they look on the outside.

Perhaps you don't feel close to this person & you don't want to be friends with them & are just looking for an excuse. People grow apart all the time. You're not obligated to stay friends if you don't want to. Just try to distance yourself a little. Try to let her down easy. Certainly don't tell her you can't be friends because she looks old! She'd be very hurt & confused I should think.

I find the whole thing absurd but maybe there's more to the story than you're revealing here.

Good luck anyway.

& don't let anyone else tell you what to do. Do what you feel in your heart. No one can tell you to like someone or to stop liking them. It's up to you.

Answer 4

Hey! You shouldn't let what people say about her and the way she looks affect your friendship! If she's a good friend then you should be a good friend back!

Friends drift apart over the years but that's usually due to distance or because they each get too busy, etc. You shouldn't let comments about her appearance affect your friendship.

If you were a good friend, you'd tell her she needs to change her image- maybe help her find something that suits her. You could tell her, in the nicest way possible, that she could look so much better and help her achieve that. You both gain something that way.

Answer 5

About time you got off your high horse and thought about things for yourself rather than let others do it for you, I had a friend who was a lot older than me and we got on great, she looked after me when I started work in a new hospital and lived in a strange place. That friend of mine is now dead, she died a couple of years ago from cancer, and I miss her. It is very rare in later life that we make good friends, and we should value the ones we do, I have two brilliant friends, one is a year younger than me and the other one is quite a few years older than me, but I can talk to these friends in place of my mother when I need to. Just because she looks old and ugly is no reason to just dump her.

If you still intend to dump her after all the advice you have been given, then she is the lucky one and definitely better off without you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

Whether she looks older or not, is not the reason to end the friendship with her. Why don't you want to talk to her? It's because she reminds you of your mom? So, what's wrong with that? Do you have a reason to be talking with her every day? At school or something? Next time you see her or talk with her (like by phone), just let her know that you would like to take a break and have some time just for yourself for awhile. Then see how it goes, you may find yourself missing talking with her, and going back to seeing her. Not every day to sit and talk, but once in awhile.

Answer 7

How old are you exactly? Four????

Ok, maybe 11. Anyway, what i see here is a girl who needs to deal with HER insecurity, instead of trying to compensate it with trying to be friends with "cool" people. That girl i'm talking about is you, darling. What is it to you that your friend looks older?! Who gives a rat's a-ss?! If, on the other hand, you feel like you'd look older too because of her, work on your stu-pid self image rather than blame it on her and hurt her feelings. Nobody deserves a friend like you, but if this woman thinks she does, she is the one doing you a favor and not you her. So please grow up and be a better person than those around you!.

Answer 8

brain washed omg that is a new one so what if she looks old if she is your friend this should not even bother you, she might think you look to Young grow up an if use get on that is what matters at the end off the day , isn't that what friendship is meant to be all about ...

Answer 9

You're being shallow. What she looks like is going to be the basis on whether or not you're going to continue to be friends with her? In that case, she at least deserves to know the truth.

Tell her: I don't want to be your friend because you look old and ugly.

She deserves a better friendship than that anyway.

Answer 10

i think you should think very carefully about what is important in life. One day you will look old. Do you want all your friends to leave you to?
May be you should think a bot more deeply cos right now you are being very shallow