hi all, just hoping for some advice. I lost our baby last october?

Question

hi all, just hoping for some advice. I lost our baby last october - how long should we wait? this may sound silly to many of you but i reallydont want to be having children after the age of 30, especially as i have heard that the rate of miscarriage increses after the age of 30 (based on the male)? i am 25, going on 26, and my parter is 29, almost 30 (next month). I am scared that if we have alresdy miscarried, and that the rate of miscarriage inceases especially if the male is in his 30's .... and he is not ready yet? our baby that i lost was a surprise, completely unexpected.... but i am too scared to wait longer to lose it again? honestl i am really thinking that if it odesnt happen soon i really wont let it happen?
i guess i am just one of those mums who thinks their children should have their parents around for a decent amount of time... my dad died when i was 7 - he was 49 - dont want to leave my little ones like that, guess i have a fear of dying young

Answer 1

First of all, I am sad for your loss and the pain it is causing. I'm 27 my husband is 31. We have decided to have a second child. We are scared to death. The important thing, I think is that you both want to start trying again. and be open and honest about your feelings. I think you'll never really be ready for a baby or a second or a third, because you just don't know what will happen. If you think you want to have a baby, I say do it, because neither of you is getting younger.

Answer 2

Sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks and the doctor said to wait 2 months before trying again which i haven't yet and that happened in 2005.
I am 27 years old with one 5 year old son and i would love to have another child but i have set the limit to have another one (if i do) by the time i get 30 as well. I am not scared of miscarriage or anything like that i just think it would be harder the older you get to have a child.

You should really read this website: http://www.miscarriagesupport.org.nz/health.html
Good luck and Take care

Answer 3

I, too, suffered loss, and it takes longer for your heart to heal, than your physical body. Thinking about yours and your partners ages and dying young is actually normal after suffering such a loss. Even though you feel ready, please give your partner ample time to reach the same emotional point that you have already reached. Fathers of loss children grieve as well and since it is often in their nature to be "strong" for us, they tend to grieve harder and longer and so often alone. This is why it is one of the absolute hardest things for a marriage or partnership to withstand. Relax, and relish in the fact that you made it through together. Do not push your partner, for if, heaven forbid, you were to lose again, then you and he would feel guilt for pushing. This may not be the answer you were hoping for, but having been there, done that, thought I would try to help you out. Good Luck and angels be with you!

Answer 4

misc in DEC 2006
was told to waut for at least 1 year because Ultra sound shown that is was a molar pregnancy but after the D&C the othopsy show that is was not
I can try now but scared
so my advise to you is ask you doctor
and don't worried about dying young
just live on day at the time that will make up for anything that might happen in the future
Good luck

Answer 5

I miscarried in Dec 2006 at 8 weeks, which was a shook to me and my husband as we thought we were going to have AIH. I was told by my doctor to wait until after my first normal period before trying again. My doctor also said that a lot of women come in for their six week check up to find out they are pregnant already. I guess you and your partner will know when the time is right for you.

Best of Luck!!!

Answer 6

after a miscarriage, and a D and C ( dilatation and curretage ) you can start as early as 2 weeks after... about the rate of miscarriage, it depends on the cause of miscarriage in the first place, if there is something anatomically wrong with your reproductive organs ( example a myoma in the uterus ) then it should be corrected, if the reason for the miscarriage was an inherent abnormality in the embryo ( example a blighted ovum ) chances of miscarriage again are slim... your OB-Gyn should be in a better position to explain all this to you ( im just wondering why he/she ) did not explain all this to you in the first place... i suggest you make an appointment , if your Ob-Gyn did not explain anything to you before, i also suggest you look for another one...

Answer 7

how far along were you when u miscarried..? i had a miscarriage last year and i didnt even know i was pregnant at the time, but im 26 going on 27 and im 16 weeks now. but maybe try www.mymonthlycycle.com, i used that and conceived the one time i didnt use any contraception. but u can also buy them ovulation tests, that let u know when your most fertile.

Answer 8

if you are medically fit now after the miscarrage, then you can go for the baby now
but do take care of the following things
1. you need to seek a doctor before you concieve as you had the history of miscarrage
2. the solution to you fear is unusal, and the solution to it is be positive, thinking positive does alters the things in your favour
3. and be extra causes when you concieve do follow each and every advice of your doctor,
dont listen to any one simplly to your doctor
good luck
your dream is soon gono be true

Answer 9

Talk to your Doctor about when your body is ready to try again..I would think that as long as you have returned to normal mentral cycles and have given your body time to readjust to normal, the doctor would give you a go ahead. He/She is the only one who knows if your body is ready to try again.. Make an appt tomorrow and see what they say :-)