My friend is 42 , 6 kids and a grandma of 3 and recently after a very messy break-up has lost 2 stone ! She looks really good but is trying to recapture her youth ( when she had her arms ful of babies) and has taken to wearing hot pants and thigh high boots when we go out ! She is obviously getting lots of attention but she just cant see that the fellas she attract just see her as a bit of an easy go-er!
Don't think it is sour grapes as I am only a size 10 myself, and in a very happy relationship but how do I make her see what she is doing without upsetting her.
2007-03-05 20:04:52 · 21 answers · asked by mum of 3 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Part of me says let her have her fun, other part of me says find her a decent man.
Don't tell her she is making a fool of herself. Deep down she knows that, but her self esteem needs a boost right now. Just because she is looking self confident doesn't mean her self esteem is high.
Try to find other ways to build her self esteem. Find her a hobby she could be good at. She doesn't need a man, and she won't be helped until she discovers that. She has probably never been on her own and happy at the same time.
Everyone loves a bit of attention (positive or negative).
Good luck with this one because it won't be easy.
2007-03-05 20:10:04 · answer #1 · answered by Ang H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U know, getting a lot of attention is propably exactly what she needs rigth now. Maybe she is not as anaware of her image as u think. Anyway the best way to tell her if u think u should is straigth up, with a carefull choice of words though (dont offend her). Just tell her she looks great and bla bla but the way she dresses gives this kind of messages bla bla, but be prepared to take an defensive answer to that. Use a smooth language and emphasize on her beeing goodlooking and attractive anyway and to her other qualities. Even if she doesnt react good at first, u can be sure she will think about it.
2007-03-06 04:17:49 · answer #2 · answered by Zoe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is bothering her very much, but if you do tell her your thoughts make sure you are honest and compassionate at the same time, without making a personal attack. Personally, it sounds like she is just trying to have some fun, perhaps she feels she lost a lot by having babies and settling down, and wants to reclaim those days. Just a phase.
2007-03-08 19:24:48 · answer #3 · answered by shoemanshoe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly leave her be babes she probably high on life at the moment proud she has lost the weight and feels great don't spoil her life change and good moods just be her friend and support her if she is happy don't make her feel put down :)
2007-03-06 08:30:15 · answer #4 · answered by clare w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should sit her down and ask her how she has been lately and ask her why the sudden change. After she tells you her reasons you should tell her how the change makes you feel and tell her that youre concerned with how this will influence the kids. You sound like close friends and if she knows how much you care then she wont be mad. If she continues after your chat then at least you tried. You wont know until you try.
2007-03-06 04:13:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best way is to just tell her straight to her face. Not in a mean way, but just break it to her honestly but in a caring way at the same time. Don't make it sound like you're jealous (I know you're not), and just help her understand that what she's doing won't get her anywhere but disrespect from men (and possibly other women).
2007-03-06 04:51:17 · answer #6 · answered by xlunax 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
called mid life crisis hun, she's gotta go through it, we all do. Just try to help her tone it down some, shop with her so its not so sluty. Stage a few men to say how good she looks when she is dressed down, mature like, let her brain register that she is beautiful without the other clothes.
2007-03-06 04:08:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
confront her. tell her about the problem in a very nice manner. go shopping with her and tell her to try new outfits that suits her. tell her that she looks more beautiful wearing other clothes than the things she wear right now. hope it helps.. =>
2007-03-06 04:12:14 · answer #8 · answered by -ayumi- 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let her be but stay by her side and take care of her whenever you can so that others will not take advantage of her. She is most probably going thru a bad patch in life.
2007-03-06 04:10:03 · answer #9 · answered by SGElite 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she enjoys wearing tights and boots, why not let her. It is better to make herself happy than for you to tell her the unpleasant things.
2007-03-06 04:10:55 · answer #10 · answered by Ashley 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋