My wife whom I love dearly is disabled & because of it she has little social life. Luckily her doctor recently gave her a new med. that has GREATLY helped (including losing a lot of weight). Now for the past 2 months she has been spending nearly all of her time on the computer (and I do mean nearly). During this time she has been chatting with 1) and old boyfriend which she had had a brief affair with (before we were married but 'together') and a college student (she's in her mid 30s) who I suspect is 'hot' for her.
I've done my best (or so I think) to tend to her every need (time, sex (LOTS :), buying her jewelry, getting her an ipod, cookies, almost anything she wants, that I can get/give/afford (which is much for $)). I do believe she should have friends, male and female but these two really bother me.
I've tired to mention it, but she refuses to talk about it. She KNOWS I'm concerned.
I mostly trust her, but she's enjoys the flirting (it's nice to be wanted)
Should I be jealous
2007-03-05 20:01:29 · 19 answers · asked by Charles 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Jealousy is a sign of immaturity, insecurity, and controlling behavior. If you feel you have a legitimate concern about your wife being unfaithful, then deal with it by talking to her or seek marriage counseling. We all enjoy flirting and being wanted, but she's married to you and it's inappropriate. You are giving too much in this relationship.
M
2007-03-13 17:39:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is bored with her life it appears to me and has made a new interest. I think that it is ok to talk to the opposite sex however if it is more than friends and you are married that is unfair on you. I also think that it is normal to feel jealous but do not over compensate for your jealousy with gifts. The best revenge is to get your own interest and show her you have a life too. Waiting and wining over someone can turn someone away as it can be overbearing. Your wife is disabled and mightent have much self esteem the computer chatting might increase her self esteem and make her worthwhile. If you have been married for a long time it is time to take her on a holiday somewhere away from the environment and make it fun. Buying all the presents won't buy love. Time is far more important than money.
2007-03-06 04:11:43 · answer #2 · answered by beccamcken 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I think you are right to be concerned. And she is trying to make a social life this way which doesn't sound healthy...and the computer can become a trap and become your whole life.
Communication is important and you need to talk this out and let her know this needs to change. Also...if she is better, then the two of you need to find some ways to have a social life together....two separate lives aren't the answer, disability or not.
It sounds to me like you make a lot of effort for her...and sometimes all that may have made her pretty self centered. What does she do for you?....She needs to be needed too....and maybe you need to communicate it that way...what you need from her in return.
2007-03-13 23:22:01 · answer #3 · answered by samantha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you wife has found this new attention being showed to her and she enjoys it a lot.. you can do everything under the sun to change her mind but she already has you so your opinion of her isn't as important as the other fellas.. because the are showing her some new attention and she is indulging in it if I was you i wouldn't be jealous just cautious and let her know how you feel about the situation even if she doesn't want to hear it..
2007-03-06 04:08:29 · answer #4 · answered by fordstar25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, you should be jealous. Only becasue she refuses to talk about it. You can mostly trust her but there are no guarantees in life, just the quality of a relationship. If you can say that you two have a great relationship, then you have nothing to worry about. If her refusal to discuss your trust issues bothers you, then maybe your relationship is not so great and you two should get some marital counseling about this before it progresses.
2007-03-12 11:59:08 · answer #5 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not one to be jealous but in your situation I don't think it is fair for her to be flirting with previous mates as for the previous friend from school he may be just a good listener and she needs to talk .And I can see that it may bother me as well . I wouldn't be buying her any jewelleries either , what is your purpose . I would may be let ride for now and go on everyday and do the best you can . Or seek the help of a counsellor and try to discuss your feelings with her and be gentle as well
2007-03-12 14:59:39 · answer #6 · answered by Gentleman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.......don't be jealous and don't be suspicious of what she is doing unless there is a clear cut reason. Let her alone and let her have her friends whomever they may be and trust her judgment in the matter. Be there for her as you have been and give her the benefit of the doubt until you see facts otherwise. You just need to continue to let her know you care for her and love her and want to help her in any way you can and then do it with love and affection.
2007-03-06 04:06:36 · answer #7 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have every right to feel jealous. Your wife spends way too much time "chatting" with people online....when clearly, she should be using this time to chat with you.
I feel something is missing if you have to have the urge to chat with others online and you're already in a relationship.
That's just my opinion.
2007-03-06 12:05:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont be jealous, but dont let her disrespect you either. Online flirting is unsafe for a relationship. If you are uncomfortable you have to stand up to her. If she knows you are concerned and she is unwilling to cooperate there is trouble.
Good Luck with her and her boyfriends
2007-03-06 04:16:02 · answer #9 · answered by Jolly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do have a right to be jealous, but jealousy is an waste of emotion. Just spend time as much time with her as you can, and you have to TRUST her or your marriage wont work.
2007-03-06 04:07:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋