here is the passage:
His words had a strange effect upon me. I compassionated him, and sometimes felt a wish to console him; but when I looked upon him, when I saw the filthy mass that moved and talked, my heart sickened, and my feelings were altered to those of horror and hatred
2007-03-05 19:11:58 · 8 answers · asked by jv637 5 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
Frankenstein (Poor Frankie!!! Nobody wanted to be around him!)
His words had a strange effect upon me. I compassionated him and sometimes felt a wish to console him, but when I looked upon him, when I saw the filthy mass that moved and talked, my heart sickened and my feelings were altered to those of horror and hatred. I tried to stifle these sensations; I thought that as I could not sympathize with him, I had no right to withhold from him the small portion of happiness which was yet in my power to bestow.
2007-03-05 19:15:01 · answer #1 · answered by char__c is a good cooker 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was taken aback by "compassionated". I don't think that is a real word to be honest.
But, knowing what it means, this is a great opening line for a story. It needs a little reworking but not bad at all.
It captures well the variety of emotions the author experienced as well as expressed her feelings towards this creature.
To be honest I want to know more about what happened next so it is a good attention grabber. I have always chosen books by how the first line grabbed me, and this just might do it.
2007-03-05 19:27:13 · answer #2 · answered by Noor al Haqiqa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dislike it Try this:His words had a strange effect on me
I felt compassion for him and at times wished to console him.
But I could not overlook his filthy existence.It sickened me and I felt both horror and hatred well up and overshadow all other emotions.
2007-03-05 19:25:11 · answer #3 · answered by Robert J W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well id definately be intrugued to read further if that was a passage from a novel....to be honest yeah u seem pretty original and creative with ur usage of words and emotions...sounds dark and deep at the same time..but yeah ppl do experience those feelings at one time or the other in their life and are afraid to express em....u done a good job with em.. words and emotions both without soundin evil... so yeah id say good writing !! keep going like this u never know jus mite make a world famous author.... good luck !
2007-03-05 19:28:33 · answer #4 · answered by I V X 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a bit melodramatic. grammar error....i dont think compassionated is a word and if it is, it does not fit. and also....my feelings were altered to those of horror and hatred...u need another word for altered. how about my feelings drastically changed to one of horror and contempt. i want the 10 pts. pls
2007-03-05 20:34:54 · answer #5 · answered by braille 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I opened a book, and it had that beginning, I find a comfortable chair and snuggle in. Very intreging. I'd love to read more.
2007-03-05 19:14:56 · answer #6 · answered by Debi in LA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems strange to me. Strange enough to get me to read on if I could.
2007-03-05 19:20:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
is it a line from "The Fly"?
2007-03-05 19:15:02 · answer #8 · answered by Scorpius59 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋