If you had a friend who admitted that they were super stressed out and needed to have their husband back from being deployed, for almost 2 yrs, would you support your friend, or tell them they were bitc hing too much?
2007-03-05 18:52:24 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
after reading your replies, i just wanted to say that I am not the 'friend' i am the military spouse. I am the one who needs the shoulder to cry one. I appreciate all of your wonderful words of encuragement! Iknow after coming back and reading this, you would want to change a few things, but don't, i understand. It means alot to me, cause i had a mental breakdown on the phone with my hubby and don't remember it, I called the batallion commanders wife, she said she would get the chaplain to call, but no one has, and i am just reaching out to hear some kind words and needing 'a kind ear and shoulder to cry on'. thank you. I tried to email '''shakera'' down ther, but she dont allow it, i will emai each of you and thank you for your nice words. I am going to morrow to the drs. for a 'female problem' but also requesting a referral to a councelor.Hopefully, they can either send him back, or get me someone to talk to. Thank you.
2007-03-06 06:12:16 · update #1
Weak is not the word. You've described a woman under a stress load only another service wife can understand. Not only is she having to handle the responsibilities of both the husband and the wife she is more then likely in a constant state of fear over the safety of her husband. You go to bed at night and lay there praying he's safe then wake up and try to get through the day while dreading every knock on the door and every ring of the phone. I hope and pray you can find it within yourself to to stand by this friend of yours and please try to get her to contact family services at the base her husband it stationed at to see what kind of support is available. At the least she should be able to get in touch with the unit's Wives's Club, there she can be with other women with the same situation and they can be an invaluable source of support and information on available services. This goes for the increasing number of husbands who are being left behind while their wives are deployed too. Please tell your friend there are people out here who have all the service members and their families in our prayers and SHE has my thanks and admiration for HER sacrifice to this country.
2007-03-05 19:17:17 · answer #1 · answered by tnlongyrs 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As a military wife whose husband was deployed and just came back I say support her and get her to join one of the groups that the military offers to keep busy and help you cope with the separation. People who are not in the situation or who have never dealt with a deployment cant really understand what a spouse goes through. Its tough your mind is always wondering and can be hard to complete a thought. Its not all in her head and she is not bitcing to much she is reaching out for help if you cant help than find someone who can.
2007-03-06 03:00:27 · answer #2 · answered by Priceless 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its devastatingly pathetic that you would even post this question.
Little hard for me to comprehend, as an American, and a compassionate person, how you could ever consider this woman weak. These wives/husbands who have loved ones overseas are just as much hero's in my eyes, as the soldiers fighting for us. They sacrifice their families...sometimes for years on end so that their spouses can protect YOU and YOUR family. She lives in constant fear for her husband, and because she loves him, she misses him so deeply, beyond anything someone as UNcompassionate as you could ever comprehend.
What she needs right now is a true friend who can listen and be supportive... no matter how many times she repeats the same thing...no matter how many times she needs a shoulder to cry on. YOU are not that person. Try telling her the truth: "I am a cold, selfish person and personally I don't have time for your true, human emotions in my self-serving little world. So i suggest you find a friend who honestly cares about you to be there for you during this trying time".
Hell, you probably b itch when you're over- charged at the mall, or when someone takes your parking space. I'm sure those are you biggest "problems" in life. This woman's devastated and sad about a REAL issue, that she has every freakin' right to talk about...complain about...and be sad about.
Good luck to Her, and I truly hope you never have to experience anything like what this woman is going thru. You wouldn't be able to hack it.
2007-03-06 08:57:38 · answer #3 · answered by Shakira 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This QUESTION is weak.
The guy is in the armed forces, and has been defending the country during a time of war, and you think her bitching could be a sign of weakness???
She's afraid her husband could be killed. Let her biiitch and keep your own mouth shut.
3/6/07 at 5:50pm, EST: OK , now i feel life dog crap, given my answer. But i guess i shouldnt, since it actually is on your side if youre the "friend"...
Hey, calm down, alright?? It'll all be ok. You have every right to worry and to be concerned. Anyone who thinks youre "biitching" is no friend at all. Keep your chin up, and let us know if your hero of a husband gets in touch with you, ok?
God Bless and Good Luck.
2007-03-06 08:26:30 · answer #4 · answered by JusticeManEsq 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Weak? No. I would say this friend is missing her spouse, and is in need of a sympathetic ear. And, she was hoping that understanding someone would be you. Either support your friend or simply hold your tongue.
2007-03-06 03:02:57 · answer #5 · answered by Tiffany T 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Their husband has been overseas in the army for 2 years. I think that warrants some bitching.
2007-03-06 02:55:47 · answer #6 · answered by Goldom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Support her. Shes your friend you would want her to do the same for you!
2007-03-06 07:50:46 · answer #7 · answered by S M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you support them that is not being weak they are without there love one for two years. that not being with that is just missing that love one. obviously you dont know what she is going through so i dont recommend to you try to suport her.
2007-03-06 03:00:26 · answer #8 · answered by OB the Wolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your a true friend support her.
2007-03-06 03:06:15 · answer #9 · answered by mosrider2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. It sounds like she just needs someone to vent to. Why not be this person for her? I'd be b*tching too.
2007-03-06 02:59:13 · answer #10 · answered by prabhakar_ace 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋