If you love ur Husband but u feel u have to sacrifice all ur dreams for?

Question

I have a lovely, charming, and full of understanding husband. The problem is our dreams are not matching. He is a kind of spiritual guy, very contentment and happy with what ever he has and not willing for having a better life (we are both students and even do not have a car). I am full of hope and energy, leader character, strong willing and doing everything for my dreams.
We do not have many common hubbies. He is not sex depended, outgoing, social character, but I am. He can stay home the whole month and read and read the same books, but I like to go out, and travel around and explore the world. Sometimes I miss laughing loud badly.
If I am explaining the differences, he turns sad, and can not defense him self or show me he wants me, even though I know he loves me so much, I do too, but is love enough?
Do I have to sacrifice my dream of having a supportive and strong man, which is killing me to have, because he is nice and faithful or I have to go after my own dreams?

We do not have fights; both of us are giving respect to each other. But something is missing for me, something very important.
The bad part of story is that I am a good looking/shape young professional lady, I see how others (who seems to be the strong supportive ones) are attracted to me. Even without thinking about future relationship potentials, I am not satisfied with my marriage. Maybe I am giving too much to this relationship, and it was wrong from the beginning, but may be I have to start over and give another try. I do not know what could be the new try? What do I have to do?
It is a very tuff situation.

Answer 1

well baby, u might stay with him now but boy will u be bitter and disappointed in life and envy everything that moves and hating your man when ur e 30. just rememebr my words - if u stay with him because now u re lazy to go out their and search for something unknown, and there ie 50-50 u might even not find it ever u will be bitter when u re older and very very unhappy and blaming your poor man for everything. but it will be your own fault - u see u re not a match, but still u re staying with him. he is a loser and lazy and excuses it calling himself "spiritual"

Answer 2

He is a spiritual guy right!!!
Then make him understand that Lord never asked you to be quite or behave as he is doing
Lord has created us in the world to be happy to spread his words to others and live a happy life for which he had created the world
If he feels that he might go in a wrong way if he does all such things then make him understand that he is not doing his Lord's wish he is trying to be alone which not the right purpose for which he came to this world....
If he is scared thinking that he might go away from his path then it means that he is doubt full about his relationship with the lord

Answer 3

You can have the ya man and pursue ya dreams concurrently.

Though opposites attract... yet we have to be attracted to the opposites and not fret about them like what you are now. And at the same time find mutual likings so that u both can indulge in.

For example I am an introvert and into fine arts and music while my bf is a social animal/IT geek who knows nothing about creativity and appreciating the arts. When he goes out without me, I am not too overly frantic nor grudge him for that. He tones down his partying willingly too. We just gotta strike a compromise somewhere. He is full of praise for my artistic talents and we do share alot of common interests too regardless of our characters... we share similar kind of humour... loves the same songs... we love to stay at home too... I enjoy going out with him but minus all the partying and mindless gibberish chats... etc

What I am concern here is... both of you do not share mutual goals and am not willing to compromise. Maintaining the relationship is all about adjusting to each other and own's comfort levels.Think you need to do a check list and and assess if being together with ya husband outweighs all other priorities in life.

Try to genuinely fall in love with ya husband's passive nature. If you cannot bring yaself to like him for that... and realize that he is getting on ya nerves and treading on ya toes simply by staying at home and doing nothing at all. Then you really know what u should do.

While you are struggling here with all these doubts and concerns. Is he doing any bit on his side to make things easier for ya concerns. U both need to work on ya differences. It's not one-sided. Unless he thinks you both got no problems at all....

All the best to you.

Answer 4

Communication is the key! Tell him that you need some spice in the marriage and go get some lingerie! Start trying different things, planning little dates and leaving notes. Men need motivation, as do women. It seems like he is comfortable. Try role playing or call him at work and talk dirty to him on the phone, LOL...that should get him going.

Answer 5

Seems he maybe set and content in his ways of thinking, only because you two have talked about how you feel and what you want to do and nothing changed...compromising on both of you is a key thing here i think and if it dont happen then you may have to do the unthinkable...

Answer 6

You sound like someone i would love to be with. If he is not excited and find you desirable and sometime irresistible then you need to pack it up and leave. You are wasting a perfectly good life that many like myself would love and cherish. If you would like to chat more email me at [e-mail]

Answer 7

Probably a site like http://www.IhadADreamLastNight.com will help you out. There is a lot of content regarding dreams there.

Answer 8

what about just going and taking trips with some friends? who says you have to do it with your hubby~

i have plans that after me and my hubby take our little vacation, me and a girlfriend are going on a vacation, just girls!!! we need time to unwinde and do our girls stuff too.