Would you take responsibility for your child actions...?

Question

This is a hypothectical question, answer only within the bounds of the question unless expanding on a point.

You are the parent of a primary school child.

Your child is the schools biggest bully and constanly verbally, physically and emotionally bullies children at whatever school they are in.

Your child bullies one other child in particular, constantly and without mercy throughout the other childs school life. The child is prevented from moving to other schools by legal red tape.

The school is legally prevented from intervening but informs you of the situation, you take no action.

One year after 'middle school' graduation the bullied child commits suicide by stepping in frount of a bus, this also kills two others and hurts 30 more.

Your child is the reason for this.

Do you take responsibility for your childs actions (i.e. feeling guilty, making recompence to families, etc.) or not.

Please explain why or why not.

SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY!

I thankyou in advance

For any who may wish to know, This did happen and the parents did nothing about it before and after the death of three people.

Answer 1

Well, everything was going well until you wrote, "Your child is the reason for this."

I am not certain if you are leaping to a conclusion or stating this as an "undisputable fact." This is a major issue in the entire question. How and why do you or we know "my child" is the reason for this?

However given all the other facts and something more concrete than the statement "my child is the reason for this," then yes, I am fully responsible for my minor child's actions, behavior and all consequences by law. Of course the interesting part is in the state's interpretation of liability in this instance but anyway, as a responsible adult, I assumed full responsibility the day the child came into the world.

It is my child for both good and bad.

Answer 2

First of all, I would take action if my child was a bully in school. Second of all, the child cannot be the full reason for the suicide. S/he wouldnt commit suicide if s/he had a satisfying home life or friends that cared about him/her. If this did happen to me and my child though I would definitely feel guilty and I'd let the courts decide whether or not I'd have to pay the families. And my child would definitely not be getting away with bullying any longer.

Answer 3

I would feel guilty that I didn't intervene earlier in the piece. I don't think I would be able to let my child bully anyone in primary school let alone for that long. I do think it would be a parents responsibility if their child was the ongoing cause of distress to another person and caused them death in the end but other peoples lives and injuries as well? i'd be so ashamed of myself more than my child in not stepping in at an early stage and teaching my child a lesson. I would not be able to tolerate my own child thinking he is better than the person standing next to him and i would be teaching him a lesson as soon as i found out. this parent had a chance to intervene when the child was young so i wouldnt expect them to be able to walk away and not take responsibility for that poor kids death. how sad.

Answer 4

if the parents knew the child was being bullied and they didnt remove child from school or lie in order to change schools for the well-being of their child then there's more responsibility to be shared than pointed to the bully.

yes, the bully parent should be held accountable though because if that parent knew their child was robbing another of a quality of life, then they should pay the price for their lack of parenting.

The bully parent obviously was not doing what they should. if they tried to stop the kid then they must have screwed them up when they were a baby/toddler and it was too late then.

Answer 5

I would take responsibility for my own actions: my raising the child to be such a monster. I cannot control anyone's thoughts and judgement but my own, and as such, the only crime I would have committed, severe though it surely is, is the failure to ensure my son or daughter with the proper morals and knowledge of life.

I would apologize profusely and do whatever I could to comfort the families, but it would be the child who would feel most of the guilt.

As the parent, bound by blood, I'm sure I would feel my child's guilt, the way I would experience the rapture of his first childhood girlfriend. But the guilt for the action itself belongs on the child; my guilt, as the parent and the teacher, would be due to the poor job I did instilling compassion and empathy into my child.

Answer 6

Yes I would feel guilty, but I wouldn't let it go that far. If I knew my child had a problem early on in Elementary school, I would have him/her in counseling before something like you described happened. I would recognize a problem, and realize that most kids don't act this way, and there must be an underlying cause. So yes I would take responsibility of my child. A child who does that, and then causes another to commit suicide, needs help. Be it thru intensive counseling or in a private school. I wouldn't let something like that go.

Answer 7

I know one woman who is in a constant state of denial over her child's bullying. She has been told outright that her child is in the wrong, but she listens to her child and can see where her child is "coming from". So the child has been removed from school and is being home taught. She still doesn't know how to behave.
I have listened to two friends whose children are called bullies. Both deny it categorically, saying that their child is actually the one being bullied and lied about.
If it was my child, hopefully it would never get this far, but from my observations, no, the parents concerned wouldn't feel guilty because they are in such a state of denial. If they did feel responsible, it would never have reached this stage.

Answer 8

Wow thats awful
Well in the situation I wouldve done something and I think most people wouldve tried to make the bully child stop.
However these specific people were clearly crappy parents who dont really care what thier precious does. I am sure their house has many examples of bad living everyday so I wouldnt expect these 2 parents to care - they didnt for the years it went on and probably dont see any connection to what happened at all.

Answer 9

YES! You take responsability for a child who does this. You had years to take care of the situation. There is ALWAYS a solution to the problem and as a parent it is your job to find it!

A 14/15 yr old is still a child and still needs to be taught how to deal with these situations by a parent if the parent isn't going to solve the problem themselves.

To the parents of the kid who killed himself- Yes, it's your fault.

Answer 10

it would have NEVER gotten that far it if were my child. my child would have received therapy... possibly from a local institution if i felt i was unable to properly prevent this undesireable behavior! i would have also pressed the school to give my child a psychological evaluation OF WHICH by the sounds of things the child would have been labeled as EMOTIONALLY IMPARED because of his inability to show emotion in regards to other's pain. once the child was labeled i would have pushed for my child to be put into a more "private" atmosphere... SCHOOL FOR THE EMOTIONALLY IMPARED. the little bus would pick him up from my home every morning (just as the regular school does) and every night he would be dropped off at my door step.

the problem is, not many parents are strong enough to acknowledge that their child has a problem. i think to many kids are raised by babysitters in this day and age. when i chose to raise children i chose to stop working in order for my children to grow up to be the people i wanted them to be. this means there is a great deal of material sacrafice... but in the end i KNOW it will all be worth while.

as for your question... how could a parent EVER make up for their child's behavior in this case? the parent in your case-scinereo WOULDN'T take responsibility because it's obvious they didn't care about the situation to begin with... BUT I DO take full responsibility for my children and their actions: they are a direct reflection of me, THEIR PARENT.