I have had the fantasy of my wife having sex with another man for a few
years now... I recently told her about this fantasy. It just came up
one day. She didn't respond much to it, just saying that she loved me
and didn't need or want another man. I told her it stemmed from my need
to see her happy and satisfied. She later told me that she really
didn't want to. She thought that I didn't love her and didn't think
that she was beautiful. Which isn't the case, I love my wife very much
and think she is beautiful and EXTREMELY sexy. I know she has to have
thought about sex with another man at least once. She wants to keep the
sanctity of our marriage though and doesn't feel that it is right. This
fantasy is not going to go away any time soon, so I'm wondering...
Should I try to talk to her more about it? And if so, how do I approach
the situation? Or should I just leave it alone and forget about it?
What are the pros and cons of letting you wife have sex with another
man? Ladies and guys please give me advice and insight from both sides.
Can anybody explain this fantasy to me? Why do I have it, what doesn it
really mean?
2007-03-05 16:44:02 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She's already given you her thoughts and feelings about it. She doesn't want another man. Don't guilt her into doing something that she will regret.
2007-03-05 16:53:08 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust me. Don't do it. It will hurt you marriage. Also, I understand that you have this fantasy and actually a LOT of men have it although they may not admit it. But that's why it is a FANTASY. Fantasies are great and keep relationships exciting. Keep it a fantasy. Usually when you start living out your fantasies, you are disappointed and that just leads to doing more and more.
Even though you may not have meant to, you have probably made your wife feel like you don't care about her as much as she thought. That you don't treasure her because you are willing to let another man see what it is about. Would you let another man hold a million dollars for you for a couple of days?
Odds are if you keep pushing your wife to do it, she won't think that you care about her and wouldn't care if she did sleep with someone else but it may not be on the terms that I'm sure you are fantasizing about - being a one night stand, right?.
And yes women can be married for years and never even look at another man in a sexual way much less think of having sex with someone else. If she's satisfied she may not even have a desire to look at other men.
2007-03-05 17:03:42 · answer #2 · answered by Angel D 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Fantasy and reality are two different worlds...if that was to happen...what other fantasies do you have swirling in that mind of yours?..could you deal with the thought that this could ruin your loving relationship...let it go..your wife isn't into it..I think you need to do some work on showing your wife that you love her...she's hurt by all this
2007-03-05 17:23:21 · answer #3 · answered by Happy2bAlive 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is telling you that she loves you and it means that she doesn't need another man to make you happy or satisfy you. Let say that one day she agree with you, what will you do if she loves what she did with another man, are you willing to loose her because she met a man that can satisfy her in bed and are willing not to share her with another man??
your fantasy needs to stay as your fantasy and do not include a person that you love.....think about it
2007-03-05 16:58:46 · answer #4 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a one-way street to disaster. If you want to truly ruin your relationship, just keep pushing your wife to consider this idiotic scheme of yours.
My advice: drop it and consider how lucky you are to have such a loving and devoted wife.
As to why you have this fantasy, who knows? Get counseling. Find out what's going on that perverted brain of yours. If you are obsessing on it, get help now before you screw up your life and your wife's. This is not an unusual fantasy, but most men suppress it and see it for what it is - a marriage breaker. If you can't do that, get help.
2007-03-05 16:56:57 · answer #5 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to keep the marriage?
Listen to your wife, She is happy and loves you. Why do you want to fulfill your fantasy? You are heading for trouble. Not all women are into such thing.
Best you forget your fantasy or let it remain as a fantasy in your mind.
Good Luck
2007-03-05 17:10:22 · answer #6 · answered by sonisunny 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
for a fantasy to become really enjoyable, partners need to think alike. First make sure that you can stand the neglect and jealousy.To convince her, try watching some exotic movies together, read letters from "Penthouse" etc. and be nice and patient with her. Respect her wishes.
2007-03-05 17:34:35 · answer #7 · answered by Burma B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok my husband had a fantasy of two women most men do. i gave him that i brought a female friend home with me and he had sex with us both he in turn brought a guy friend of his home and i had sex with both of them.
now number 1 the fantasy isnt going to be as great as your mind makes it out to be and number 2 someone will get jealous and you guys will fight or you run the risk of her enjoying that guy more than you and her striking up an affair behind your back with said man which in the long run causes you to lose your marriage. jealousy set in for me and my husband and we decided never again and it wasnt as great as your mind set tells you your fantasy is going to be. and if she sayss no she dont want to b/c she wants only you count your blessings b/c its hard to find a faithful companion these days. so drop it.
2007-03-05 20:52:20 · answer #8 · answered by Angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why don't you divorce her if you want her with other men because you sure don't love her thinking about fantasy's a man that loves his wife would shoot some one if they caught thier wife with some other man
2007-03-09 09:51:47 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its all good as long as it's agree able
2016-02-20 11:38:01 · answer #10 · answered by Kenneth J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋