can i change myself ?now?if i make a sincere strong commitment?

Question

is it possible 2 overcome my negatives by makin a firm decision?
i'm frustrated with life and myself,wanna change...please help!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

I believe people can change but in order for them to change there must be a few things in place in order for them to do so. The person must want to change, the person must be committed to the change they're making, and not be afraid of what the change will bring.
When you want to change, you're increasing your self-power. You are in charge of your life because it's up to you what you want other people to see. When you think you've created the person you want to be, you'll see how others will see you because they'll give you comments on your character but if they don't then there's more you need to work on.
When you're committed to change, you'll want to work on yourself and become excited to work on you. You'll begin to understand yourself, what you want from yourself, and no matter how long it takes, you'll pursue it.
Changes can bring out the best in you but the worst in those around you. Some people will think you're being selfish but you need to be more involved in yourself to save yourself. If those around you can't see that you're doing what's best for you, then they're not meant to be around you.
I changed a few things about my character three years ago and am continuing to change for the better of myself.
It's hard to change even when you want to because there are so many temptations around you just waiting to test you but it's up to you to have the will power to say what you need and what you don't need no matter what the consequences. With those consequences comes results because in the end, you'll end up with what's better for you.
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In summary, ask yourself who you are. I believe only you can answer this question. We are what we have created, and if what we have created is not bringing us pleasure or happiness, it is up to us to change, and keep changing until you're happy with the person you have to become. This is called 'evolving'. The goal of life is to evolve, to keep moving forward and never be satisfied, for that will stop the progress. Ask yourself each day, "Am I happy with the person I've become?"
Really look at the things that displease you; the good news is that facing those things about you that you don't like is the 1st step toward change. Change requires a shift in thinking. You can't keep things the same old way & expect that life is going to be any different.
When you're ready to work on yourself ask those around you for forgiveness when you're going to be working on yourself. You must be completely honest with yourself about forgiveness because you cannot pretend to have done so.

Answer 2

My first question would be "Why do you want to change yourself?" Is it some social and/or other external factor that is demanding a change?

Now to your answer:

Identity is flexible and can be changed by societal and other external factors.

You may wish to try this identity exercise.
Bearing in mind the importance of identity, it is worth spending a bit of time exploring your own identity. Howard Martin said:
"Don’t ask the what the world needs – ask what makes you come alive and then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

The exercise:
List all the elements you identify yourself with.
Then think about who you would like to be.
Then list the words you’d like to identify yourself with.
Then commit to moving towards this identity in your actions.

I won't say it will definitely help you ... but it may be an interesting thing to try ...

And remember, SELF CRITICISM = A LOUSY WAY OF MAKING CHANGES.

One common response to our upsets is self-criticism such as, "I shouldn't get upset at that Situation A." This response inhibits change, for it denies the inherent logic of our upset responses and usually prevents a careful look at our reasons for getting upset.

The logic (the reasons for our upsets in Situation A) is what we often need to explore and change. If completely successful, then we will feel fine when Situation A recurs. This is resolution.

Hope that helps ...

Addition:
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Autosuggestion (a process by which an individual trains the subconscious mind to believe something, or systematically schematizes the person's own mental associations, usually for a given purpose) by epetitive, constant self-affirmations can be a very effective way of what you are intending to do. However beware that there are certain rules you have to follow if you are making your own autosuggestions and therefore consulting an expert is advisable to avoid unexpected and undesirable results.

Hope that helps ...

Answer 3

You have to really want to change and make it in small steps that are achievable.

Give yourself small rewards when you achieve certain goals you wish to attain.

Answer 4

i kno exactly what you mean.....but i think you can overcome it by thinking more positive....your gonna have to look deep inside and figure out what you want to change and then work your hardest to change it and maybe you will feel better.....make plans day by day to and change what you want a little at a time

Answer 5

go 2 peekvid and watch the movie the secret it will change ur life

Answer 6

ABSOLUTELY YES!

If you go into it with a serious commitment to change, regardless of what you will need to do to change, regardless of how hard it is, you will change those things about your behaviors, your personality, your actions that you want to change.

I know, I'v had to change a lot about myself over the years. Some bad things were taught me as a child, other were the results of my own bad or mis-informed choices, some were things I did not knowing how to do any differently, didn't have a better example from people around me.

So I promise you as someone who has had to work hard to change it is absolutely possible. It's nice if others support you in your change, but I had no one helping me and I did it because I had to change and knew it. I take that back, I always prayed and asked Heavenly Father and Jesus to help me and they did. Though I didn't have another mortal helping me.

Any good change we desire, our Heavenly Father and Jesus are there waiting to aid us if we but ask. Many things in my life I know without a doubt I only changed with their help, as I had tried on my own, not asking their help and couldn't do it until I plead for their help daily as I worked to change.

Many teens and adults whom I've known who work to change, one of the hardest things about change is giving up negative friendships when neecessary. What I mean by negative friendships, are those friends that are associated with things such as drug or alcohal use; friends that encourage you to do the things you know are not healthy for you to be doing. Friends that can't support you in your changes.

A good place to start is to write down things in a booklet that has divided sections. Have a section where you write what you want to change, then explain why you feel that you need to change in that area. Then write out steps for how to go about making that change, be as detailed as you can be. The more you break down the steps needed to change, the easier making that change usually will be. Included things about your thinking on that items you need to change, people you need to stay away from or maybe bring into your life to help you with that change. If it's overcoming an addiction, write what you'll do when you feel tempted to use; you'll need to know what to do, who to contact for help when temptation comes. Getting connected with a AA or drug support group is often the best first step and offers a lot of support; there are groups for teens, not just adults.

Write in the book in a seperate area, every tiny good things about yourself, your abilities. Even things that have nothing to do with the area you want to change in. Such as, I am able to cook. Every skill you posses; every emotional straingth, social straingth, spiritual straingth, talents and skill, etc. This helps you see your straingths, so you can use them in helping you change. Like for me, being highly organized was a straingth I listed.

Write down people you know who will be there to support you in your changes, people who have proven they can be helpful and supportive, by having done so in the past. Write down areas families and friends can help you with changing in, such as not nagging you when you slip, but instead encouraging you to try again.

Everyone tends to start with their hardest things to over come, I tend not to agree with that one unless it's substance abuse, because until you are clean you can't change in other areas and maintain those changes. Any addiction is counter to positive change.

Otherwise, start with the simplest things to change. Such if you are a student who skips classes, just commit to not skip a class, even if you are behind in it, even if the teacher isn't nice to you. Seek the schools help in aiding you in catching up in your courses, tell the schools counselor, your school couselor, that you are committed to change, but need their help in getting assistance to catch up in classes.

If it's personality things that need to be changed to begin with, such as some girls finally realize they are hanging out with shallow girls who make fun of others and want to stop being the kid of woman who picks on others. Going to those shallow friend and being honest that you can't be part of mean behaviors anymore and if they continue you'll need to walk away from those friendships, is a big but important beginning, as well as seeking friends who are more well rounded and do not take part in making fun of others.

Whatever your issues are, no manner how hard or how long it may take to change, change is absolutely possible when you commit to it, I know. Some things took me years to change, other things only a few days or weeks, others took months, but I just committed to the change and even when I failed I didn't give up, I just kept starting over each day and looking to see what I might need to address that had to do with me failing at my goal to change int hat area.

As long as you are moving forward, no manner how small the improvements, that's all that manners. Some changes take a long time, just don't give up and dont be afraid to ask for advise from others if you think they can help. You can listen and then either say that advice wasn't helpful and let it go or you can say it was helpful and use it. Asking for advice doesn't mean doing what someone else says you should do, it's advice, nothing more.

Consider asking others who've already made the change in their life, that you won't to, ask how they did it, what steps they took to accomplish the change. Then use what you can to help yourself.


I wish you the best!