I am in an abusive marriage and want out and dont know how, to complicat things there is someone I am interest

Question

in but it would be a bi-racial relationship and i am afraid. My husband abuses me, doesnt appreciate me and I dont know what to do. Help???

Answer 1

Speak to the police, now. You also need to clear up your 'other' relationship in order to deal with this abusive relationship. Otherwise, all three of you are going to suffer immensely.

Answer 2

First of all do NOT bring this other person into your life right now. You HAVE to focus on getting out and having someone else in your life now would only make matters that much worse. You need to totally focus on what you are going to do to get out...First you need to be able to get out completely all at once...going back and forth isn't going to work and it COULD land you in hospital...or worse. Pack up whatever you can carry, leave the rest there is NOTHING in this world worth more than your life. Next, go straight to the nearest police station and file a restraining order on him and ask for information on battered women shelters, they may offer to escort you to one, take them up on the offer. While there you may be required to get into a bit of counseling both for your own well being as well as "occupationaly therapy" where you will be taught skills in how to interview for jobs and how to get yourself up and onto your own two feet...TAKE IT ALL. If you have family/friends who will take you in great, but let them know it might not be an easy thing they are takiing on and that you don't want any of them playing "do gooder" trying to get the two of you back together. Let them all know that it is OVER and you want nothing more to do with him (believe it or not sometimes "caring" family will try to get the abusee back with the abuser becuase the abuser is so heartbroken and down troden and seemingly repentent). Then get yourself a job, eventually a place of your own and if this new person is still around look him up...if not, well that's a sign it wasn't meant to be anyway and move on with your life.

Answer 3

The best thing you could do for yourself is to get to a safe place and stay safe. You should not be worrying about the race of another person that is of interest because anything would be better than getting beaten up or mouthed off at in a degrading way.

It is hard to do, but you have taken the first step to doing what is needed to make you safe. My advice to you is to be sure that you can get away safely and stay that way, if you have children then you will need to take them as well so you need to take that into account.

There are some people that run safe houses for battered women that you can go to with or without children and they will help you with the things that are necessary for you to be safe.

I wish you luck and will be praying for you.

I was in your position for 14years and left when he was at work.

Take Care of yourself and I'm sure that your friend if he really cares about you will understand that you need time to get used to the idea of you and him. As long as you are safe that should take first priority right now.

Answer 4

well, in todays day and age i seriously doubt that people will look down on you for being in a bi-racial relationship, after all, its the 21st century, people are more accepting of things than they were 100 years ago

if your husband is abusing you then perhaps you should leave, but don't sit there and start something new with the new guy until you are done with the old guy

Answer 5

Settle one problem at a time. You must settle your marriage first before thinking about the other relationship. By thinking of the second relationship is not going to help you, cos you might end up in a worse situation.

Answer 6

First off, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE. They can get you information on shelters in your area & help you get out. Be careful when you make the call. After you call them, make another one so you cover your tracks & he does not catch on. The links below will help you but be careful - do not access them from home if possible as he can easily track what you are doing on a home PC.

Once you get out & you are safe, do NOT go back. He will try every line in the book on you. Stick to your guns. If you go back. chances are it will happen again - even if he seems nice now. I have been thrown thru walls, thrown out in the winter naked, been slapped, hit, beaten & worse. Each time I went back I heard the same line. It got better for a short time but always ended the same - with me getting beat. It took him finally blowing his top so badly that he committed murder before I got out for good, realizing I could have been the one he killed.

He told me I could not make it without him. He called me stupid, ugly, useless & much more. I am now working in a good job making over $50K a year. I have a wonderful, loving husband who treats me with respect & dignity & I am finally safe & happy.

So do NOT go back. Stick to your guns & if you need to talk, look up my profile & contact me.

Answer 7

The race card does not matter, what matters is who is going to love you, and protect you, and honor and be faithful to you and never hurt you..???Good Luck and God Bless,,,,,

Answer 8

tell him