I'm gay, how do i come out?

Question

(btw im a boy for future ref) I've seen alot of great answers on other topics, but I have a very confusing situation.
Some people say just come out and tell your friends, if they're youre real friends they'll accept it. Well, I did kinda steer the topic into that a few times. I found out one of my friends (girl), is bi-sexual and she's going out with one of her friends (girl) that I've never met, because she moved to Iowa before I got to High School. She's not afraid to come out. She's "emo" on the inside, no slits though, she's an anime fanatic, dresses like a random clothes rack, and she's really open, but I dont know how to be open like her. I have another friend, he likes punk music, he's straight, doesnt know what a comb is (rofl), and says he accepts homosexuality, yet he only talks about him accepting that around me, does that mean he suspects me? I also have other friends that make jokes about homosexuals, and im scared to tell them.

Also, once my dad asked me if I was gay, but i couldnt come out and tell him, so i just acted disgusted with his question. My mom would be OK if i was gay, but I dont see her anymore, because my dad lives in Texas with my step-mom who's hispanic, going to run out on him when they get married and take half his money (shes told me herself!), a drunk lunatic, and cares nothing for open society. My mom on the other hand, is in Arkansas, but she was in jail for 2 years for dealing drugs and doing drugs, the last time i saw her was 4 months ago, and she came to Texas so my dad was around. I dont even know where she lives right now so i cant call her or see her. My dad is the same as my step-mom >.>

Answer 1

It will be hard, no doubt about it. Our society (if you live in the U.S.) isn't very tolerant of homosexuality as a whole. Just make sure that you won't be in physical danger if you come out.

I would start by telling a close friend, maybe "testing the waters" beforehand by starting a discussion about homosexuality (someone you know, a celebrity, or just homosexuality in general).

You don't have to go around shouting it, though. You have the option to keep it to yourself until someone specifically asks, "Are you gay?" - many people, even heterosexual ones, like to be private about this sort of thing.

As for the friends who make gay jokes, I'd be careful around them. They could be homophobic - on the other hand, they may be just that: jokes. I have friends who make gay jokes, and they're accepting of homosexuals.

If/when you do come out, don't let anyone bring you down. You are fine the way you are, and anyone who says you're less of a person for being gay is close-minded.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

coming out is not an obligation. since you don't seem close to your parents, i wouldn't be in a rush to tell them. obviously, it helps to have someone you can talk to about this.

this bi friend is probably a good place to start. telling her will at least get the ball rolling and it will be good practice for when you tell your closer friends..

you could then tell your friend without the comb and hopefully his reaction will be positive..

maybe these two people could help introduce you to some new friends who are accepting of gays.

i'd also encourage you to reach out and make new friends. even if it is just an online community. it helps to make friends who will only ever know you as a gay man.. this way, they won't have to go thru the shock of experincing a surprising coming out.

the longer people know you, the more in denial they seem to be and the longer it will take them to accept your sexuality, at least that's based on my experiences

Answer 3

Well, people aren't stupid. They're going to figure it out sooner or later. You need to find your most trusted friend and come out to them. In high school I had this friend James. We always suspected that he was gay but didn't know for sure. Well one night we were checking out some hot guys and he was there. I said, "Oh, that guy is really hot, look at his ***!" James said, "he is hot, I'd hit it." I almost fell over. It was like he was dying to get it out. He was the coolest guy I knew. I laughed my *** off because we were just talking and then BAM! Be comfortable with yourself. You're lucky, in this day and age it is more accepted to be gay. People know it's who you are and can't change it. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Coming out is very scary, and it is understandable that you are scared. Maybe it would be easier for you to find a group that offers support for gays and lesbians, and come out to them. This might help you get used to you being gay, it would give you people to talk to, and it would give you a whole group of people to talk to about your choice to come out.

Google Human rights campaign, and you might be able to find a group close to where you live.

Best of Luck!!

Answer 5

Hey, just enjoy you life, live your life, does it nescessary to tell?
They will know when they are close enough with you, no need to tell thats make life odd...do u agree?

Answer 6

Sounds like you need to start dating your "bi" (girl) friend!