Was I being irresponsible with my pregnancy?

Question

I was seeing a doctor and things seemed to be good. Then I switched to a midwife. She told me not to take Tylonel so much. She changed my whole diet. She put me on supplements. She is raising my iron level (the doctors said it was fine, but apparently it was on the low side of find and still going down). It seems everything I did was wrong! She is not critical, and she is very informative... but I am wondering. Why didn't the doctor say I was feeling bad my whole pregnancy because of how I was treating my body with the baby in it. Was I being irresponsilbe?? I was being careful with the information I knew at the time. Should I feel bad and stupid for not taking better care of my baby? I am 25 weeks and will have my health up by labour... but i feel ashamed, like the midwife must go home and shake her head at me.. am I being oversensitive. She is never 'down' on me at all... am I being to hard on myself?

Answer 1

I know exactly what you feel, since i;ve gone through that situation before. I gave birth 2 months ago but when I was like 8 months pregnant i took betaK. I was told that it would prevent bleeding. I later discovered that it would weakent he heartbeat of the baby inside and if prolonged could kill the baby and I was already taking it a month already beofre I was informed! Imagine how broken I am, no wondoer my dr. had a hard time finding my baby's heartbeat. I am just so thatnkful now that my baby is 100% ok. So dont worry about it.. everything is going to be fine. just make sure that you make up for it and take all the nutrients and vitamins that you need. its never too late.

Good luck and Congrats on your new baby!

Answer 2

YOu are doing good. Don't worry about it. Any meds, including Tylenol, is not good to take, unless needed when pregnant. The only good thing to take is a good prenatal vitamin once a day, with food. And, eating healthy. Drink at least 8 - 8oz glasses or 4/16 oz. bottles of water per day. Please, don't be so overly sensitive. Do not feel bad or stupid either. This is a time you are to relax, and enjoy your pregnancy. You should only be taking a prenatal vitamin-please check with a nutritionist about all these supplements this midwife is having you take. Or, ask a pharmacist. You don't want to over do either on that stuff. Folic acid is one nutrient you need a reasonable amount of. Folic acid is found in drak green veggies--brocolli, dark green lettuce, etc. That helps your baby have a good strong spine. Please forgive yourself. That will help yo not blame yourself on what was going. on. I am concerned somewhat, because if this is your first baby, I personally would rather have you seeing a dr., but it is your choice. Trusting you will have a happy, healthy baby! Take care.

Answer 3

You have no reason to be ashamed...unless you are drinking or using street drugs. Don't waste your energy feeling bad about this. If this was the best information you had at the time, then you shouldn't feel bad. You have better information now. So take your midwife's advice and eat well. Do the best by your baby.

A final caution. A midwife is a wonderful thing. But....occasionally complications arise which need medical intervention. (And this is rare, but it does happen...it did with me.)The whole goal of your pregnancy should not be midwife at all costs, but healthy mom, healthy babe at all costs. If you do have a crisis and require a medical doctor, don't hesitate.

All the best with you and your baby.

Answer 4

Dont worry, you shouldnt be ashamed of this at all! The reason why it is so confusing is because there are so many sources of information out there and everyone will tell you something different. There is no "rule" with what you should do because no pregnancy is ever the same. For you to make an informed choice, search out all the information you need to know on how to handle your anti natal health and go from there. Dont ever feel guilty for not doing the "right" thing because there are stacks of people that will always tell you differently. Follow your heart and your mind and you will make the right decisions for you only.

Answer 5

Yes, you're being way too hard on yourself. Let me just ask you.......if you had known all of these things, wouldn't you have already done something about them? It sounds to me like you would have. You did the best you could with what you knew. So take a deep breath, sit back and relax, and be glad that you switched to a midwife. And I'm certain that she doesn't go home and shake her head. She's probably just glad that she's able to help. Good luck to you and your unborn baby!!!

Answer 6

You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I doubt there is a woman out there that has been or is pregnant and hasn't worried about something that she did effecting the baby and felt guilty about it, no matter how minor. It sounds like you are being very responsible with the new information you have acquired and are taking all the right steps to help ensure a happy and health pregnancy for you and your baby. Keep up the good work and congratulations!

Answer 7

Your emotional b/c of being pregnant. You are being way too hard on yourself. Lighten up. I might would see a doc as well as a midwife. You took the best precautions for your health that was advised. You can do no more. Just take care of yourself. Your body constantly changes during pregnancy and so does iron. Dont stress it is worse for the baby than n-e-thing u listed.CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

Ok - my first question is - if things seemed to be good with the doctor why did you switch from your doctor to a midwife in the first place?

Is this midwife attached to a specialist clinic or is she freelance? Who is doing your blood tests?

I am actually a midwife and married to an OB/GYN. I have cared for many women during my professional life but have never had a patient transfer to the care of a midwife over half way through their pregnancy when they were happy with the doctor previously. Seems like an odd thing to do.

As a midwife I have also, unfortunately, had the unpleasant experience of having come across midwives who were frustrated OB/GYN's, or midwives who because disillusioned with western medicine and freelanced themselves as home birthing specialists with disasterous results. A midwife who changes a patients complete diet and recommends supplements? If you were eating correctly you wouldn't need supplements - a standard daily prenatal vitamin would be adequate, if at all. And how did she measure your iron levels - did she tell you what they were previously? Did she tell you what she was intending on raising them to?

I am sorry to sound so suspicious but although you have said the midwife is never "down" on you at all, it appears she has triggered some sort of negative feelings within you about your pregnancy and your feelings of irresponsibility which is nonsense! I am disappointed that you are relating to yourself as "bad" and "stupid". A quality caregiver would never make you feel this way.

Answer 9

Im assuming this is your first pregnancy.. You can't be so hard on yourself. We as women, are not born with all of this information. All we have is our basic maternal instincts. The rest, we leave up to people who call themselves the professionals. I know when my mother was prgnant with me, there weren't half as many directions as to what you should and shouldnt do. I turned out fine.

Your hormones are all over the place, and you could very well be blaming yourself for no good reason. I'm sure your doing the best job you know how.. Just try to live a healthy life and get a good nights sleep each night.

You will be fine, trust me on that.

Good luck

Answer 10

You are being hard on yourself. You were listening to a professional who you trusted. Just do what it best from now on and learn from it if you have another child. Usually midwives have a different, more holistic approach to childbirth. Personally, I think they are better and more in tune with what is best for woman and their babies. It is more natural birth process. Be happy that you are making the changes now. In reality, the baby takes all the nutrients from you, so don't worry about your child. It is you that needs to be more nourished now. This is one of the major reasons for post partum depression- hormones all over the place because of vitamin deficiencies. Obgyns don't think of this like they should. They just hand out anti-depressants that yes they help, but they don't solve the problem. Good luck with everything, enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, & be kind to yourself. It is a learning process. There is a really cool book called Birth by Tina Cassidy that talks about how "modern ideas" get in the way of a natural process.