I haven't been able to find a ton of information on this, although I do believe it's called "abasiophilia." I've felt like this for as long as I can remember, and I am not a "wannabe" or a "pretender". I've had relationships and been attracted to men that are in no way disabled, but I find myself being especailly attracted to those who are. I just wanted to know if anyone else has had any experiance with this, or knows anything about it. It's sort of been bottled up in me for awhile, and I've never been open about the topic with anyone.
2007-03-05 16:05:57 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I haven't been able to find a ton of information on this, although the closest thing I've found is called "abasiophilia." I've felt like this for as long as I can remember, since I first started discovering 'boys' and such. I am not a "wannabe" or a "pretender". I've had relationships and been attracted to men that are in no way disabled, but I find myself being especailly attracted to those who are. I just wanted to know if anyone else has had any experiance with this, or knows anything about it. It's sort of been bottled up in me for awhile, and I've never been open about the topic with anyone.
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I've had a short relationship with a friend of mine who's a paraplegic (we mutually decided it needed to end due to distance). It wasn't different from any other relationship I've had prior or since at all as far as control. My initial attraction to him was just noticibly much stronger (as it had been before this relationship with other disabled men, and continues to be.)
2007-03-05 16:59:56 · update #1
Anything taboo can be eroticized. In our culture, physical differences are taboo. These men you find attractive illustrate this in a profound way. Taboo is the mundane colliding with the sacred,
This attraction allows you to empathize and also identify with them. You become the wounded and the healer at the same time. They are the wounded and the healer as well. It is powerful and should not be bottled up!
Remember, compassion is what defines us as human.
2007-03-11 13:38:32 · answer #1 · answered by erathossd 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be that the diasbility itself isn't the attraction but the fact that they're disabled is attractive. Let me explain what I mean; all women have a maternal instinct, and the fact that a person with a disability may need some extra care could kick that instinct in and you may just want to be there and nurture that person.
Now, if you just like a man with only one leg and are fixated on that specific disability or others, it could cause problems later in a relationship if the attraction becomes more of an obsession or out of control fetish. However, if you can keep it under wraps and it isn't too crazy, then it's normal. We're all attracted to certain people, me for example, I like thick(not fat) chicks. Some people are born attracted to their same sex, we can't help who we're attracted to. Plus, being a fat guy(does that count on your list of disabilities?) disabled people need love too. Loving them for that reason may be a little wrong, but most men really don't care why you love them just as long as you "love" them. Notice the quotations.
2007-03-05 16:17:46 · answer #2 · answered by Phat Kidd 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've looked at a few of the responses thus far and do concur with the rescue aspect of this attraction. But I'd like to throw one other possibility into the mix, that being that perhaps you may feel more in control and needed in such a relationship, especially if you've struggled with abandonment issues in past relationships with men who had no physical disabilities.
2007-03-05 16:32:03 · answer #3 · answered by soulguy85 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a man is self centered. Or beleives that he is better than oterh for whatever reason. Also I dispise guys that are looking for a free ride. I recently was hit on by a guy that said things like: You have a really nice car, I want to be your man. and I am trying to do my own thing becasue I don't want to have a boss and work 9-5 so I need my woman to finance my lifestyle until I hit it big. I think Kevin Federline used to be an example of this when he was still married to Brit.
2016-03-16 05:23:43 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am disabled and have found this issue to be quite the opposite.
Perhaps you like being the helpful mothering type and need to care for someone disabled. Perhaps you like the feeling of being needed where some one healthy don't offer. Perhaps it's just a passing phase.
In either cases I commend you for having a big heart for the disabled men of the world. It's hard enough to find love and to find that most healthy women prefer healthy men leave lots of us broken bodied men alone.
2007-03-05 16:15:50 · answer #5 · answered by Kill_Me_Now! 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
OK. Um OK! "abasiophilia" is a psychosexual attraction to disabled people who use orthopaedic appliances such as leg braces, orthopedic casts, spinal braces, or wheelchairs. However only a very small minority of people who engage in a sexual relationship with handicapped people are actually affected by this psychosis.
If that's what turns you on, go for it! I think it's hot!
2007-03-05 16:14:17 · answer #6 · answered by . 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you had a real relationship with a disabled man? I think you are in some rescue fantasy.
A disabled person is not going to be flattered to be thought attractive for having a disability. ANYONE wants to be loved for themselves, not something external.
2007-03-05 16:09:04 · answer #7 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Abasiophilia
2016-09-28 13:48:07 · answer #8 · answered by ortis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you probably have a strong compassion for them. I am also drawn to the disabled - as a matter of compassion, not sex.
2007-03-11 13:28:19 · answer #9 · answered by Rick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you like to feel needed ,i don't see nothing wrong with that .
just make sure it's attraction ,and not wanna be their MOMMY.
2007-03-05 16:11:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋