Here's a joke...?

Question

Colin came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking
drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was
already asleep.
He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his
bed wearing a long flowing white robe.
"Who the hell are you?" Demanded Colin, "and what are you doing
in my bedroom?"
The mysterious Man answered, "This isn't your bedroom and I'm
St Peter".

Colin was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have
so much tolive for, I haven't said goodbye to my family....you've got to send me back straight away".
St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a
catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
Colin was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far
from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking
around pecking the ground.
"This ain't so bad" he thought.

Until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?"
"It's not so bad" replies Colin, "but I have this strange feeling inside, like I'm about to explode".
"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before".
"Never" replies Colin
"Well just relax and let it happen"
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail.
An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for
the first time.
When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen wa s the best thing that ever happened to him...ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt
an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting
..... "Colin, skrik wakker jou dronk vark, jy KAK innie bed!!!"

Answer 1

Hilarious! Now here's a joke just for you!

My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset - I shall be home before midnight." When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:

"My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about me being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a maths teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of maths, you will
understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow."

Answer 2

haha well good i got a sex joke for you hope you like it :) on hearing that her grandad had just died kate went and visited her nan to comfort her when she asked how he died her nan replyed by sayin that he had had a heart attack while makin love 2 her kate said that it was silly that 2 old people where havin sex as it was askin for trouble her nan replyed by sayin that they used to do it to the slow pace of the church bells as it was just the right speed she then wiped a tear from her eye and carryed on by sayin''if that dahmed ice cream van hadnt come along he would still be alive today'' :) xxx

Answer 3

Good one man,,,And even I as a Canadian was able to translate the last line myself,, Must be all the Dutch people I hang with

Answer 4

That's really funny.
For those that don't understand Afrikaans, the punchline reads,"Colin! Wake up, you drunk pig! You're shi*ting in the bed!"

Answer 5

A translation would be good! Although u did post it here..

Answer 6

Excellent, will forward to my friends!

Answer 7

Good one.

Answer 8

Parkinson's & Alzheimer's


Johan en Karel sit in die kroeg. Skielik vra Karel vir Johan:"Johan sê bietjie vir my, as jy kon kies watter siekte om aan te ly, wat sou jy kies? Parkinson's of Alzheimer's?
Sonder om twee keer te dink antwoord Johan: "Parkinson's"

"Hoekom" :vra Karel

"Jong ek sal liewer die dop mors-mors na my bek toe bring as wat ek gaan vergeet waar ek die bottel gebêre het"

Answer 9

he he he. that was really funny boet!!!
Smiley, I'm going to use that on my hubby. he he he.

Thank you guys...

Answer 10

Hahahahahahaha! Didn't see that one coming.Good one