Post-college, I don't know what to do with my life!?

Question

Recently graduated and my parents are pressuring me to find a 9-5 job and start working like the rest of my friends. But I want to live abroad, possibly teach English somewhere in Asia... just do SOMETHING other than work in a cubicle, but I live off my parents' money and I'm their only child and feel obligated to respect their wishes. I just don't want to regret something later when I'm 35 and married with kids, so now is the time to be spontaneous right? Has anyone felt conflicted like this? Do you wish you would've done anything differently?

Answer 1

In the subject line you write, "I don't know what to do with my life", but then later you state " i want to live abroad"...therefore you know what you want, but other people are messing with your head.

You aren't supposed to live your life for your parents, your supposed to live life for you. I think you're right about how it is the perfect time to be spontaneous. Don't let anyone kill your dream.

Family can really mess with someones mind. They are dream-killers. The ones closest to you can be your worst enemies, because they want you to stay the same. But no one should have to stay the same, because life is about change.

I think I read a saying once: "If you don't change you don't grow. If you dont' grow, then you aren't really living."

Answer 2

Just a few years out of college myself, so I understand the feeling. Was the education a gift or clearly a loan you have to pay back? If they are expecting money back, then you are obliged to get a job and do so; if it was a gift, you can use it as you please since gifts should have no strings attached.

I can understand taking time off to travel, and teaching overseas is a better line on the resume that "flipped burgers and stayed with my parents for a year." However, just because you get a job does not mean that you have to get married and have kids in short order. Most jobs give vacation time and some require travel. There is no shame in waiting until thirty to look for a wife. Women and Asia will still be there in a few years, really, they can wait.

You can look into getting an internship or temporary job with potential and at least try out an occupation or two and give yourself an objective and deadline. "If I don't make it up the next two rungs of the business (or whatever measurable step) in six months (or a reasonable time between 2 and 12 months), I am going to teach in China (or whatever)". Put it in writing, put it on your calendar, don't tell your boss but let your parents know you will try this but not devote your life to something you despise. This time lets you test the waters and get some concrete details lined up for your potential trip so you don't have to sleep on the streets for a month in Asia. You may find your dream job, or you know you tried but need to see more of the world, both are common.

A part of me wishes I had sown wild oats, but I didn't have the funds and could not mooch off of my family forever, since it was a loan. But I have a husband and I love my job in a way I never thought I would. I am still making plans to see Mexico, Spain, Ireland and Scotland, but they will be there still when I earn enough money to see them, perhaps even with husband in tow.
I went to college and stayed for an MA because I didn't know what step to take next; you are not the only one looking at a blank slate of the future and going "Oh shi..."

Answer 3

I guess the key question here is, who is going to pay for your fun free spirit time in Asia? What about taking a paying job over there? There's no reason that you can't find a job in a place you'd love to visit.

What about looking for a job that allows you to travel and see the world. Is there something out there with your educational skills.

As a 44 year old college student, mom of two and who's been married for 17 years, I'm siding with your parents. It sounds like they have paid for your support all of these years. Now they are ready for you to fly on your own. So, if you feel strongly about going abroad, do so. If you do it with a job, your parents will probably be very happy for you.