Ok, he left me for another woman that he cheated on me with and now we are divorced, but when he thinks I am seeing someone else he wants to know who. When I dont tell him he freaks out saying he has a right to know who I am seeing because they are gonna be around his kids. He didn't consult me about his mistress so why should I have to tell him if I am seeing someone?? He says he isnt jealous and wants me to find someone but I think he is STILL trying to control me. How do I get him to leave me alone?
2007-03-05 15:16:34 · 16 answers · asked by suzyalexisandgabe 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The funny part is that I am NOT seeing anyone! Our divorce just final on FRIDAY. I am enjoying being single and I am not looking for anyone right now!
2007-03-05 15:43:12 · update #1
I live in Mo and you are not required to inform the other parent of a relationship. AND the ONLY way a man would be spending the night here is if we are married. I do not believe in sex outside of marriage.
2007-03-05 16:39:17 · update #2
Well I am assuming that you have tried the polite route that has gotten you no where....so....next time he starts to stroke out because you are seeing someone and his "kids" will be involved inform him that he gets to spend time with his kids around a S lut that he cheated on you with and that it was HIM that chose this path.....and maybe....just maybe he should have been this worried about HIS FAMILY BEFORE he started to diddle someone else. Also inform him that when HE decided to give up his wife....kids....his whole family for a Bimbo he also gave up the right to have ANY say in what YOU do....or who you do it with.....so suck it up princess I am moving on with my life! And if he keeps this up...you will be talking to your lawyer to see what can be done about this harassment.
Best of luck....and hang in there
2007-03-05 15:34:12 · answer #1 · answered by oldman 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Your children must come first, and in state of California, a parent must inform other parent if a relationship move forward to childs lives.
That the Law and heres the ugly part of that Law, should you not inform him that he's had night over then you could loose kids in custody battle. so make sure you go to motel or his place to play.
Wife told me that it's ugly what can happen if not all the I's not doted and T's not crossed!
Heres another thing about Ca. Law if child say he or she doesn't want other person in home other then spouse that is well you got to get rid of your playmate right there and then because if you don't , it's called endangering a child's safety and the welfare department takes it to the extreme and then some!
Good Luck.
2007-03-06 00:23:50 · answer #2 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you kill him. sorry, that's the only way it's ever going to stop. so...you have to live with it and figure out how not to let it bother you. if he does anything such as stalking or harrassing you, report it IMMEDIATELY to the police! don't let one incident go by because you think it makes you a better person. who you see on your time is your business and your business alone. you don't to him at anytime. the day you decided you were not husband and wife is the day nothing you did was ANY of his business. and as long as the kids are happy with whoever you bring around the house, you will be fine. he can't even get a court to make you say anything. even when you remarry, who your husband is is STILL none of your ex's business!!
be firm! i take it got like this because this is how he treated you during your marriage. you divorced him. he is no longer allowed to treat you this way because YOU said so.
my ex is like this. he still thinks he didn't do anything wrong, this included beating me. and he continued to do so after we broke up until i put a stop to it. i get married and he's still an *** trying to get back at me....5 years later.
2007-03-05 23:34:16 · answer #3 · answered by Bella 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The wonderful thing about divorce is that it means "final". I'm sure if you checked over the document you'll find an area that clearly states that neither party is allowed to question the ex on their personal life, badger or harrass. Meet your ex's questions with dead silence.....don't play into the question game with him. Talk ONLY about the children and their well being. Each time he brings up your personal life either walk away or hang up the phone. You don't owe him any explanations now that you're divorced.
2007-03-05 23:39:52 · answer #4 · answered by Justlookin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say since he didnt tell you about his s l u t ( which no decent girls would cheat on spouse or allow lover to cheat on his or her spouse I dont care how "good"she is)anyway I think when he stepped out and didnt tell you well then how dare he think he can "control"whom you have over .As long as the person is no danger to you or children which I would assume any decent mother would not allow around her children then he has no right to even THINK he can have a sayso.i am sure he doesnt call you anytime someone walks through his door ..
2007-03-06 12:46:50 · answer #5 · answered by anntanner 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to get a life and let you live yours. You are right in this so just live your life and be happy and he will just have to deal with his own issues and get over it. Good luck to you and you go girl! He is still trying to control you so do not let him. Change your number if need be and only contact him when it comes to the kids and that is it. do not talk to him any other time.
2007-03-05 23:22:21 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is jealous Honey. Trust me on this. I threw my soon to be ex out when I found out he was cheating. He now lives with her. He is seeing me move on and now is coming to me saying that he misses me, misses the kids, blah blah blah. I know he is realizing what he lost and can never get back. That is what it sounds like with you. He knows he has lost you, can't get you back and therefore is trying to control you through the kids. Don't do it. Keep all converstations with him business like..only about the kids. If he starts in on your personal life hang up the phone or walk away. Good luck!!
2007-03-05 23:35:59 · answer #7 · answered by mysweetluvie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he doesn't want to accept that one day u could move on, and than u wouldn't be there for him if he were to come back. he knows if theres another man in the picture he won't have control over u anymore. he may still love u, just tell him he has no control over u anymore, that u are divorced, because of his betrayal. just tell him it is none of his business what u do anymore, as u are divorced. he certainly does have alot of nerve. u have to stand up to him once and for all. put him in his place.
2007-03-06 08:50:50 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore him. Do not talk to him about anything about yourself or him. Your only concern with him is your children. Absolutely don't let him into your personal life. He does it for control. If he doesn't like your boyfriend around the kids, too bad. You are a grown up, you have good jugement on people, and you know who's good to be around your kids and who's not. He's trying to say you re not able to choose responsible people around your children?
2007-03-05 23:43:54 · answer #9 · answered by Lana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is A Control-freak and he doesn't deserve you. But he has no legal right to say who u can and can't see. He has NO RIGHT at all because he is the one who left and the one who committed adultery. If he really cared he would have kept "it" in his pants. Tell him to read the LAWS. Like he should have in the first place...
2007-03-06 13:59:02 · answer #10 · answered by Simple Life? HAHA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋