Why me? why is everyone getting pregnant but me? i just feel like giving up on everything.Why me?

Question

I Just took an (hpt) and once again it was neg. I just don't get it, i try to do everything right i am a christian woman who loves the lord and her husband.I have been saved for a good while now, and i do try to do everything like the bible says.It hurts me to my heart to know that i just can't seem to have something that i want so dearly.And what hurts even worse is that it seems that everybody around me is gettinng pregnant, all my cousins whom i grew up with, my sistersand brothers all children everyone but me.I even have teenage nieces who are pregnant and at the same time,i try not to be jealous especially when i'm around them but it's so hard.especially when i see them enjoying their pregnancy and when the daddy's are spoiling them and rubbing their pregnant stomach.I'll be grateful for just one child.i'm so hurt and heartbroken now i'msitting here crying my eyes out.I guess i'll just give up forget about it, but it's not fair. What did i do wrong, am i being punished? why me?why

Answer 1

go to the Dr and have him do a prenatal exam to make sure there is nothing physically wrong with you. It could be as simple as a blocked cervix, or a high cervix. You're also gonna want to have hubby have his sperm checked just in case. I don't know how long you've been trying but hang in there! I have three kids and have been trying on the fourth for almost 10 months now and we're getting to the deperate stage too. God has a plan for you just hang in there.

Answer 2

oh my god thats the way i felt too. I felt that i was recieving some kind of punishment, i felt like i was the only girl suffering from not being able to concieve. I used to cry myself to sleep praying for a child a miracle of life. I would always see pregnant women and feel jealousy even though that wasnt right but still i would say "why me". I got depressed and gave up on everything. I did tests but the doctor didnt see anything wrong with me, he just told me that maybe i wasnt ovulating like i was suppose to. I felt terrible. I had been trying for 3 years and nothing. I would take pregnancy test almost every month hoping to see a positive result but no such luck. I really understand u when u say that. But to my surprise there are alot of women out there struggling as we are. Just relax, even its easier to be said than done but i tell u this becuase i use to stress out alot just thinking about pregnancy and trust me it doesnt help at all. I recently seperated from my husband and had a slight hope in maybe becoming a mother with someone else, becuase something in me wondered if my ex husband was the one who couldnt have kids. All this time i had thought that it was me who was infertile but i remarried and have been having symptoms of pregnancy and i did a test yesterday and it came out with a dark line and a very faint line but the instructions says that it doesnt matter how dark or faint the line may be u still could be pregnant so i took another from another brand and i got the same results but im still in denial if i am or not becuause i cant believe that i had been trying for three years with my previous husband and as soon as i remarried at i could of gotten pregnant. Its unbelievable. So my answer comes to this question for u: Have u and ur boyfriend/husband gotten check? Maybe u have something that is blocking u from becoming pregnant or maybe ur husband/boyfriend has low sperm count. well i hope that i have given u atleast a little peace of mind. And dont worry it will happen when u least expect it! Have faith God bless

Answer 3

my husband and I have a 5 year old little girl through fertility and been trying for the past 2 years (going through fertility) been poked, prodded, blood tested, ultrasounded, many negative tests, doctors aren't sure why nothing is happening. I have sister in laws who are cranking them out by the dozen, can't afford kids, aren't through the partying phase and yet once again a pregnancy is announced. I don't know why God doesn't seem to let us good ol Christian girls with wonderful husbands have an easy time. I am coming to the understanding that we need to be going into a different direction if we want to expand our family, I too have prayed, had others pray, but to no avail. we are planning to adopt, scared to death about the whole process, but all I can imagine is having a little one running around knowing that this must be what God's plan was. I understand totally what you're feeling, you feel broken, like something is wrong, but it's not maybe you can talk with a pastor or get together with us gals who are responding and we can get a chat going. You're not alone and I know it feels that way, please know that you are God's child and he loves you and your husband deeply and wants the best for you guys, you never know what the future holds, you won't be disappointed if you keep the faith. It's hard and frustrating, I know. I will keep you in my prayers, and email me if you'd like....God Bless

Answer 4

Ok, first off don't give up. I don't know how long you have been trying but it can be a long time sometimes. It is so upsetting to want and want and never get! I prayed daily and nothing. I think I spent tons of money in home pregnancy tests that only yielded negatives! Then I would take one the next day or so to make sure it wasn't wrong. Which was even more upsetting.

I had my first child 8 years ago. For the last 7 years I have been trying everything to get pregnant again.

Even my sister, who has a grandchild (she started young), had 2 more kids. I felt like you. I was happy for her but so upset because I really wanted a child.

I would see these stories on TV and just want to vomit because people kill their babies and so on. I kept asking my husband why people who can't take care of their kids or hurt kids keep having them but people who really wanted and are good parents can't seem to have them. We could never figure that out.

Well come to find out we had a lot of issues going on. Which you may want to check with your doctor about.

First off stress is a BIG factor. I didn't think I was stressed at all- I didn't feel stressed, but your body will not let you get pregnant if you are stressed.

Secondly, I was having irregular periods. I was placed on Clomid (a fertility medication) on and off from 1999-2006! I did not get pregnant but developed cysts on my ovaries, major major mood swings, and just suffered disappointment every month it didn't happen.

Then my new husband was checked in early 2001 and found to have low sperm count & something else wrong. He had 4 surgeries in one and we were told with in 6 months we should have kids.

After all that, I thought it should be a piece of cake. Again on fertility meds and nothing. I had other people offer to be the "surrogate father", we talked adoption, etc. But there is just nothing worse than wanting so desperatly to have a baby & seeming you can't.

Needless to say my doctor tried something new. He gave me Clomid in June of 06' as my last attempt (I couldn't handle the disappointment any longer) and had me take prenatal vitamins with it. By July 5th I found out I was pregnant. He explained that proper vitamins & nutrition can play a role in conception too.

It may take a while but be patient and try to relax. I know that is easier said than done, but just try. Also you may want to talk to your doctor and try a mild dose of Clomid or something. It is not too expensive (I think $10/pill and they start you with 1 pill for 5 days), some insurances do cover it or partially cover it.

Answer 5

You may not believe me, but I absolutely know how you feel. I've tried for so long and lost three babies before getting pregnant again. It feels like the world is split in two - the mommy-club (those who have children) and the rest of us.

Let me guess, are you having feelings like 'she doesn't deserve to have kids?' Are you blaming God or 'bargaining' with Him? (I did!!) And you cry, every time you hear another one is pregnant right?

Get fertility tests done. Your husband first - it's just easier and if there's nothing wrong with him, then you go for yours.

Stress, like you're having now, can actually play a role in you not conceiving. I've heard so many stories of 'we gave up and then we got pregnant'... I'm one of those women! I just gave up, my husband and I already started the process of adoption when I got pregnant again.

Stay positive though, and get all your tests done ASAP so you can start the ball rolling on fertility drugs, in vitro or adoption - whatever you decide to do.

You are not being punished. There are a lot of good Christians who can't conceive - are you all being punished? Hun, God doesn't work that way.

I know you want to sit and wallow in self-pity... I understand - I did it. I got hit with depression so bad I had to be put on medication, all because of my fertility problems.

There's nothing I can say to make you feel better. It has been proven though, that the more you obsess about getting pregnant, the more depressed and stressed you get, the harder it gets to conceive - so stop worrying about it. It will happen in its own time - and if it doesn't, you have other options to get your baby in your arms. It doesn't have to have your DNA for you to love it.

Answer 6

You are not being punished. If you look around, you will notice that crack-whores are having babies also...this is not because God thinks they deserve a child and you don't. It has nothing to do with that. Do you think that little children with cancer are being "punished"? There are many many options for you, you could be patient and keep trying (it often takes many couples 6 months to a year to conceive)... you can look into fertility treatments. You can also adopt. There are many many babies out there who need good moms. You sound like a very nurturing loving person. This isn't about you, it is biology. Some women have many miscarriages before they have a successful pregnancy, would you tell them God is punishing them? I really think you need to re-evaluate your mind set... it is not logical in any way.

Answer 7

It can be so painful when you want something so badly and do not get it. It can be hard to remember that God answers our prayers in His time and in the way that is best for us, even if it isn't what we desire. It can be hard to remember there are different paths to motherhood (such as fostering or adoption).

I recommend taking a little time off and trying to nourish your own soul and your marriage. Believe me I know what an emotional rollercoaster TTC is and how easy it is to loose perspective.

While you are taking this sabbatical, I highly recommend learning to chart your fertility signs. Your chart can tell you when you are fertile, when you are not, when you are ovulating, when to expect your next period, and when to suspect pregnancy. Your chart can also tell you if there are issues delaying conception or causing difficulty w/ carrying a pregnancy and if there are serious issues which need a doc's attention.

Some good sources for charting your fertility signs: Fertilityfriend.com (free software as well as a pay-for version and on-line charting turorial); ovusoft.com (discussion boards for many fertility related issues, much info on fertility after the pill, and a very good software for purchase). The books Taking Charge of Your Fertility (associated w/ the the ovusoft website and software), The Art of Natural Family Planning, and Garden of Fertility

Answer 8

I'm sorry, my mom tried to have a baby from the time she was 16 until finally at 39 she had me, and said she always thought the same thing. I don't know if you've seen a feritility specialist to run tests on you and your husband, maybe do that. If that doesn't work you can do In Vitro Fertilition where they take your egg and your hubby's sperm and implant several in your uterus, I've heard you have to get painful shots and go through hell, but if you want a baby I guess that's what it takes sometimes. I know several people who have successfully conceived that way. Have you considered adoption?

Answer 9

you are not being punished, I am going thru the same thing, I have been noticing everyone around me having kids and getting pregnant (even people complaning that they are pregnant), and yes I do think it is not fair for people like us who wants a child to have such a difficult time and for those who do not want a child to just have one so easily, but what can I do, I go to the doctors, take the medications (clomid, etc) do what they say, ovulation tests, ekg, etc.... and still no kid, but I can only pray that God has a plan for me, and I will have kids when he wants me too, if not than I will be able to adopt a kid and give him a family. until than I still cry at night but during the day I try to continue living life to its fullness hoping that one day I will have a child to share my life with

Answer 10

How long have you been trying? It took my husband and I seven months to get pregnant. It took one of my co-workers ten years, and they finally got pregnant. I think that God has his plan for you. I tried using a sperm friendly lubricant called "pre-seed" and we got prego one month later. I really think it helped. But if you were not meant to have children I think maybe there is a child out there just waiting for you to adopt him or her. Everything is going to be OK, things usually seem to have a way of working themselves out, even when you are feeling the lowest of low. I know... I had post pardem depression and I didn't think I could even LIVE through it. But here I am, everything WILL be OK. I pray you get pregnant, you sound like a really good person. Keep your faith.