I have never been this honest but since no one knows me on yahoo I will ask this question. I am a 21 year old male virgin. I have 2 sisters, Im the youngest and I dont have that great a relationship with my father. I am good looking- everytime I put a pic on hotornot I get at least a 9.4. I have kissed and made out with gils, fingered 2 girls, gave oral sex to a girl once. I have had blowjobs from girls but never have come from one. I almost had sex but I thought the girl was too ugly a couple months ago. I am really sexually frustrated. I feel like I have a higher sex drive than most people but Im not using. I have masterbated to gay porn and I usually only get boners without touching my penis by looking at guys. I think that this is a power thing though. Because I feel so inadequate with women I am turned on by guys that are good looking- does that make sense? I am good looking too but Im not getting any sex. I do not masterbate thinking about having sex with guys.
2007-03-05 14:55:30 · 8 answers · asked by I s 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Truthfully, it sounds as though you are feeling a great deal of performance pressure. This is natural the first few times you have sex with someone else. It can be quite difficult to perform, much less reach orgasm. I know from my own experience that the only thing that made sex easier was by doing it. Once you feel comfortable around someone and especially comfortable with your own sexuality, then it will get much easier for you to relax and enjoy sex to the point of orgasm.
Given that you haven't sought sex with other men and that you are feeling somewhat insecure from not-so-good experiences with women, it is too early to tell if you are bi, gay, or straight. We live in such a hyper-masculine, oversexed culture that it's easy for any failures on our part to be misinterpreted as signs of effeminancy and/or weakness.
It will take some time and experience on your part to truly understand your sexuality fully. Research over the last fifty years has conclusively demonstrated that young men as they begin to explore sexuality and have their first experiences often question their orientation. Research has also conclusively shown that almost all young men will experiment with same-sex behavior at some point. This is completely natural and nothing to worry about. Many men will outgrow this behavior, while many others will decide they are bi or gay.
There is nothing wrong with you. It is perfectly natural and beautiful to be bi, gay, straight, and/or curious. Don't be afraid to explore your sexual feelings. The gender of the person you fantasize about isn't nearly so important as the degree of pleasure your fantasies bring you. The world has a very wide spectrum of delicious experiences: don't be so quick to limit yourself. Explore and discover just how good life can be.
2007-03-08 05:44:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try both. Which ever one you dig, that's you. I was in your same shoes years ago, but I'm female and was married. It was a rough situation, being attracted to females and having an overbearing husband. So after I came to realization that he's an *** (pardon my language but there is no other appropriate word for the man) I got a divorce and was able to go out on my own and explore my world. I found myself in-between. I'm not gay, but I'm certainly not straight. I like both to be honest. Gender for me is just another way to please a person. So what ever you feel, just give it a try and see what you respond the best to.
I also had a friend tell me back in the day that he too was bi-curious. In disbelief I asked him what became of that. He told me he went out and found a guy, and as soon as they started going at it, he stopped and said 'Nope, I guess I'm not gay'. That wasn't him and he then knew that he was a ladies' man and not a man's man.
You never have to tell anybody what you do if you find yourself embarrassed about it, nor should you be. It's you!
2007-03-05 15:33:19 · answer #2 · answered by Ned No D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My pat-answer is usually that "no straight guy is ever curious", but in your case I wonder if there aren't other things to think about. Maybe talking with a male therapist for a few sessions, really honestly, about body image is the place to start.
2007-03-05 15:02:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you seem very interested in the physicality of sexual activities, but not once did you mention anything about love, trust, companionship, romance.. i think you are missing the entire point about what sex is really all about.
looks only matters to teenagers.. now that you are older, focus on getting to know someone better before you worry about sex
2007-03-05 15:09:57 · answer #4 · answered by Jeff 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you are bi, sitting on the fence, not sure which you like better. Until you really have some good experiences with a guy or girl, you will not find yourself.
2007-03-05 15:12:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its ur fantasy- that ur that guy. I say ur a little fruit-loopy cuz of the gay porn thing. But not totally gay.
2007-03-05 15:02:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you think about or see a sexy man or sexy woman, which one gives you that naughty rush? thats what gender you are oriented to. if its both than have your cake and eat it too, honey.
2007-03-05 15:08:44 · answer #7 · answered by green13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=5398053284330528399
here is a link for a test lol but in my opinion you are BI..
2007-03-08 17:30:28 · answer #8 · answered by afi_rockergurl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋