Have you ever wondered "who/what did I marry?"?

Question

My husband and I had been together for 6 years when he came down with the flu.....prior to this he was not one I would consider a complainer. But man, after the first 48 hours... he was so irritating... he complained the whole time, he whinned, and moaned. I had never heard someone complain so much... not able to take it, I stocked the house with plenty of supplies he would need for the duration of the flue; kleenex, soup, juice, cold medication, and fresh batteries in the tv remote; I then left, and went to a hotel.... I thought that would be the best place for me, seeing as how I can not stand to hear people complain.... Anyway, it turns out that not too many people leave their spouse during the flu. My mother upon hearing where I was, was appaled at me. She scolded me for leaving my husband in his time of need....It was at this point I began to think "who/what did I marry?" and "why do I have to put up with his whining, when I can go to a motel" Talk about growing up fast!

I remember the for better for worse, and the in sickenss and in health... I just don't recall the vows where I stated " through all your unnecessary whining and complaining"

Ok more details are needed. 1.) I have and do get ill quite often, but I manage to take care of myself, cuz I am an adult. And bonus, I do it without Whining the whole time.
2.) He is usually so stoic, brave, strongwilled, manly man. I was not ready for the days of whining....
3.) I guess to a point I am an intollerant woman.....but if the tables were turned and I began to whine uncontrolably... well I would have to pay for his hotel myself

Sorry I forgot to mention... This was 6 years ago, I have grown up a little... I now stay at my moms when he gets sick LOL

Answer 1

Honey, this is where the saying "that's why women have the babies" comes from. My husband is the same way. If he so much as goes to the dentist and gets a filling, he's whining about it for two days. Where as, you are like me. I get sick, I take what I need to take and get on with it...there's no use in complaining...nothing is going to change the problem I am having for whatever it might be at the time. But husbands...Oh no...different story. They get the flu and all of a sudden they are dying. Nevermind the fact you had it last week and managed to do all the laundry, cooking and cleaning with 102 degree fever.

I've been married 18 years, with four boys who do exactly the same. So I've learned to laugh. Unless they are bleeding profusely or coughing up a lung, I'm not running for anything! Don't get me wrong, I did the whole Florence Nightengale when they were little, but in doing so, I think I created little versions of their father! My daughter in laws are going to be on yahoo answers one day complaining about what I've done to their husbands....I can see it now.

Just be patient, relax and let it go. There's nothing we can do to change it. Or, if you are like a few other women I know "If you can't beat em' join em". I prefer to laugh and remind him that if he needs his mother, she's only a phone call away...or my favorite "I can't wait until we get old and I get to buy you the 'help, I've fallen and I can't get up' button". If that doesn't work...may I suggest ear plugs?

Welcome to the sad reality of marriage sweety.

Answer 2

Looks like I'm in the minority here. I AGREE WITH YOU. (I wish this had under-lining!) My first husband always played "macho" unless tested. (Took my paycheck, dictated everything.) BUT. The poor, pitiful thing got a cold & whined & whined & whined. (My mother even saw him secretly put a cigarette lighter to the thermometer!) I could not tolerate his playing the victim. I didn't go to a motel, I just went out & lay in the sun by the pool. A neighbor came in to "tend" to the guy, came back & said: "What a BIG BABY!" On a fishing trip with some friends, he got a teeny cut on his finger & was actually crying! Couldn't clean the fish! When I went to the hospital to have some stitches removed, he went with me, & passed out cold. The nurses were all over him (he was VERY good looking & that is ALL). He never had ANY compassion for me in the worst of circumstances. I almost severed my right wrist, & while in a cast, he demanded I cook dinner as soon as we came home from work--one handed. So, my dear, when people don't know the whole story, they're going to bash you. Expect it. BUT NOT I. I need to add that I was the ONLY caregiver to my second X who never asked for anything, while he was dying a horrid death. He was WORTH IT. I think your choice was healthy, & excellent! Don't even listen to other people, it's YOUR choice to make. I don't think you're "intolerant" at all. If you "enable" the guy by treating him like a baby, he'll never learn to be an adult. (Like YOU.) One more thing--maybe you don't have to stay in a motel or with your mother who "disapproves?" Just ignore him & whistle a happy tune!

Answer 3

Men are big babies when they are sick and that is why God decided women are the stronger sex and would be the ones that could handle childbirth. That was nice of you to stock the house with supplies for his flu but I think you probably should of stayed with him instead of going to the hotel. You said prior to this he was not one to complain. Maybe he honestly had a really bad case of the flu and never before had he felt so sick or maybe he just needed extra love and attention from you and he acted sicker than he was to get it. Trust me when I say you should appreciate and be thankful if the worse thing your husband has done is complain too much about his flu.

Answer 4

Hey, this is pretty funny. I think my wife wanted to do this several times in our marriage.

We guys are real babies when it comes to being sick and most women can't stand it. So, you're not alone. I can only guess that a) your husband is an extreme case, or that b) you are particularly intolerant.

Your mom probably scolded you because she wanted to do the same thing when your dad got sick, but felt too guilty. She suffered. You should, too. You know, that type of thing.

On the other hand, if your husband got really sick and you were in a hotel when he died....well, that would be something you would have to carry around with you for the rest of your life.

By the way, all guys secretly hope that something like that would happen so that women would feel terrible for the way that they treat us when we're sick. We can't help it. We're guys and that's how we act when we're sick.

Answer 5

Bad little appraiserjen LOL......well I would have to agree with your mother on this one....for better or worse SICKNESS and health....you know. Us men don't do "sick" very well....funny thing I can cut my hand wide open....break my ankle and still work....which I have MANY times...work with broken fingers...hands...what ever.....but give me the flu or a bad cold and its WHINE time LOL.
You just married a man....thats all LOL Now go give him a hug....before he whines about that too hehehhehehe

Answer 6

Leaving your husband over something as simple as this was wrong and you need to go back to him and to your marriage . This was no reason to leave him at all. You could have stayed in the house your know even if you slept in a different room. Poor guy i feel bad for him. How would you feel if he left you when you were sick? Your mom was very right you should not have left him when he needed you the most.

Answer 7

Yes ,and sometimes I get really crazy and ask is this all their is for me !

Then I realize that regardless what I have is nothing to what I can have with the beautiful woman who ask me to marry her.

It's called sometimes I get crazy, and wife tells me about everytime she has an episode of it too.

You see it's okey to see thing from the other side of fence as long as you don't clime over.
Tell your partner how you feel sometimes, and tell them that it's great to be with them but sometimes you just wonder.

You'll find that your going to be in for the ride of your life in marriage , both good and bad.

Answer 8

This is really funny. Turn it around. I suppose when you're feeling like you've been hit like a truck and you're miserable, you're going to be okay with him running away to a motel? Heh, not likely.

You ran away the first time in 6 years he turned into a baby? Your poor hubby is the one who should be wondering what kind of woman he married. If you're going to get so frustrated that you cut and run that easily, I truly hope you're never planning on having children.

Answer 9

I'm with your mother, you should not have left him at all, that was not right! Love is patient and kind! But that is obviously not you, Do you have any feelings for him at all? I personally like to be left alone myself when I'm sick, but I just don't want someone making a fuss over me or waiting on me hand and foot, I just want to know they are there if I do need them. If my husband has to work I understand but if he's off I prefer that he at least stay with me if I'm really sick or at least not be gone too long! I would be furious if he went to a hotel to get away from me, I would certainly question his love. I hope you are able to manage on your own if you ever get REALLY SICK! He probably wonders what or whom did he marry as well. Tell you mother GOOD JOB for me!

Answer 10

I had a teacher that said that girls whine when they get hurt and boys whine when they get sick. And this is the first time in six years that he's sick? You're pretty lucky!
I'm appalled too! When I'm sick I whine like a baby too. And I bet that you do too! Compassionate you're not!