we have been married for a little over two years. we have had lots of problems especially with in-laws and family overseas. my in-laws used to live with us until I told them to move out and live with their daughter instead and my husband's family overseas constantly needs money. my husband and I do not make lots of money, we make enough to pay our bills with a little left over but my in-laws expects us to support his family overseas. I also have an infertility problem, it is hard for me to have a child. I was pregnant 7 months ago but miscarried and have been seeing fertility specialist for a while now. every month when i get my period it is so disappointing and now my husband does not show any effection towards me anymore, he says he still loves me but he said what is the point in trying to conceive when i might not be able to carry the child till birth, with all the problems we are having i am worried if our marriage will survive, i spend countless nights crying, what to do?
2007-03-05 14:51:50 · 9 answers · asked by life is great 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I have the same problem, my mother is always in need and I seem to be the only one that can meet that need. It strained me and my husbands relationship because we did without to provide for her. We finally had to tell them that we loved them but were just not able to help anymore. My mother didn't receive it well at first, but shortly after they began to manage on their own and our relationship got better.
Furthermore, I had been told years ago that I couldn't conceive at all..period. We considered adoption and we were disappointed when the little girl we hoped to adopt was returned to her mother. By the grace of God a few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. He is now 10. I did have a miscarriage several years later.
Not every fetus will be viable and cannot make it to full term. I know it is so disappointing, but maybe if you take the pressure off and just begin to have fun again. Maybe the timing isn't quite right yet. I know you are ready, but I believe are lives are ordered to a degree and if you will keep hoping and focus on each other for a while, you might be surprised when a little "accident" might happen.
Be encouraged, don't lose hope
2007-03-05 15:07:15 · answer #1 · answered by ggirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for what you are going through.
It sounds like he might be greiving for the child you lost. Sometimes the father's grief isn't always anknowledged or dealt w/. Maybe you could "take a break" from trying to conceive and try to work through this w/ him.
Trying to conceive can put a lot of pressure on a couple. It can really take all the love out of making love. You have to find a way to make it joyful again and not only about making babies. Nourish your relationship before continuing to try and have a baby. This is the person you promised to spend the rest of your life w/. Your relationship must be first priority. Maybe even see a marriage counselor or your minister/priest for help. All couples suffer trials, but it is possible to lovingly overcome them.
If you are not already, I highly recommend charting your fertility signs. Your chart can tell you when you are fertile, when you are not, when you are ovulating, when to expect your next period, and when to suspect pregnancy. Your chart can also tell you if there are issues delaying conception or causing difficulty w/ carrying a pregnancy and if there are serious issues which need a doc's attention.
Once you have charted your own cycles, you may be able to see something the doctor hasn't. Then you can reevaltuate how you want to go about TTC together.
Some good sources for charting your fertility signs: Fertilityfriend.com (free software as well as a pay-for version and on-line charting turorial); ovusoft.com (discussion boards for many fertility related issues, much info on fertility after the pill, and a very good software for purchase). The books Taking Charge of Your Fertility (associated w/ the the ovusoft website and software), The Art of Natural Family Planning, and Garden of Fertility
2007-03-05 14:59:28 · answer #2 · answered by Kari 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to reconsider having a child with your relationship in such a bad state. A child would only strain your relationship. Miscarriage is very very common. 50% of all first pregnancies end in miscarriage, so for your husband to think that you couldn't carry a child till birth is ignorant. I truly think you need to make sure your relationship is strong before you get pregnant again. Also, it is immoral for his family to be putting financial strain on you. Parents should never burden their children in that way. You shouldn't feel obligated to support them, your #1 priority is your family (meaning the two of you).
2007-03-05 15:29:13 · answer #3 · answered by katiebug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Def. marriage counseling. Have a serious talk about the in laws. When you two married, you left your families to start your own. They aren't yours or his responsibility. They need to support their selves. Go on vacation. Get away just the two of you. and once again, go to marriage counseling. The sooner the better.
2007-03-05 15:04:38 · answer #4 · answered by alicia_lee_watson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have one misc and he ome up with you not able to carrie teh child to full term
sorry but your husband is either stupid or taken bad advise
and it also can be from his side (you not able to carry a child full term) some times is to do with the man chromosone
so have courage don't let people put you down
If I were you I would think twice before having a baby with this man
Goodluck
2007-03-05 15:03:24 · answer #5 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counselor.
2007-03-05 14:55:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry sweetie, talk to him and tell him how you feel, let him know that you need him right now, let him know that you understand that he is going thru a hard time also and listen to his side of the story too
2007-03-05 16:29:32 · answer #7 · answered by Nina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
explain 2 him how u feel
2007-03-05 15:49:51 · answer #8 · answered by staceydv4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am truly sympathize with you. Please do read this, hope it will help you.
2007-03-05 15:55:25 · answer #9 · answered by Joyce 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋