Ok so my little sister(just turned six) had her b-day party at a gymnastics place, we had been there before for her friends b-days. The guy in charge of the party remembered me from a past party where we talked some and flirted and stuff. This time he was even more flirty and we hung out more, he and my cousin threw me in a foam pit(they didn't believe me when I told them I’d already been in twice). He was also doing back flips into the foam pit, which he hadn't done at the other party (showing off or just having fun?) I had SO much fun being with him. Now all I can think about is him, it took me an hour to get to sleep last night because I couldn't stop thinking about him. I left a message at the gym with my number so he could call me. Did I do the right thing? Was he really interested or was he just being nice cause it was my sister’s party?(just to clarify i was not hanging all over/devoting all my time to him.my sister had atleast 10 friends at the party so not a lot of free time)
2007-03-05 14:16:20 · 10 answers · asked by zippy7766 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Some big details i need to add. My mom has already oked it. She said as long as we aren't doing "it" she doesn't have a problem with it. And just for future refrence, I am a *HUGE* believer in abstinence. Most of my friends said i should not have done this because i am 16 and he is 20. to me 4 years is not a big diffrence. was it a bad thing to do?
2007-03-05 14:17:53 · update #1
Yep, it was a bad thing to do. You may believe in abstinence but the age difference between the two of you is huge now. It won't be a meaningful difference 5 or 6 years from now but right now you are an adolescent kid and he is a grown man at 20. He won't believe in abstinence. Back away from him and forget it. Get busy with other things and keep yourself busy.
2007-03-10 18:40:19 · answer #1 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, does it matter that he is interested in you for sure? You have fun with him and it looked like he had fun with you. There is no harm in finding out if those feelings may run a little deeper (assuming the age difference isn't going to be a problem). The best way to do this is to ask. But be prepared for the worst. It may turn out that he is not interested in you that way or that the age difference may be a problem to him. How he responds does not reflect on the kind of person you are, but on where he is in his life at this point and his personal ideals.
But first think if the age difference is going to be okay for you.
In this situation I cannot tell you what to do. But I can tell you a couple of my observations and let you decide.
If it was only a question of age and there were no other relevant circumstances, then I would say go for it. My Grandmother was 14 years younger then my Grandfather and things worked out well for them.
But I must warn you that your situation has a possible draw back, and that is this. You are still in school and he is not (unless he is in college). This can create kind of a stigma for him (ie. robbing the craddle). There is also alot of changes that take place in a persons life as they are preparing to leave high school and so what a sixteen year old is looking for in a relationship and what a twenty year old is looking for in a relationship can often be very different.
It might be better for a friendship right now instead of a deeper relationship. This way you can get to know him better and find out where he stands on these issues. But this is not always practical.
By the way, I very much respect you for the choice that you have made for abstinence. You will be blessed through this choice.
God bless
2007-03-05 23:01:19 · answer #2 · answered by BoranJarami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go girl! the age difference doesn't matter at all and if he's into you then everything sounds peachy..one thing though what you said about abstinence, which is way cool, kudos to you, I would let him know your feelings on this right away if you should happen to hook up. If your mom says it's ok then why not? It doesn't sound like he was just being nice because it was your sister's party, he didn't have to hang out with you after all, the party was already paid for i'm sure so it sounds to me like he was interested in you and chances are, you were probably on his mind that night too. If he calls you'll know for sure. Good luck sweetie!
2007-03-13 20:55:00 · answer #3 · answered by MELISSA&ERIC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well good for you! You have the guts to do what most girls don't.
While I give you props for what you did, be careful, you dont want to come on too strong and emasculate him. You left him your number and the ball is in his court. Don't continue to call or anything like that, wait for his response.
As far as the age thing goes, when I was your age I was in a similar position, and even to this day (i'm 21 now) my boyfriend is considerably older than me. It really depends on your level of maturity, and his level of comfort with the situation.
Best of luck!
2007-03-05 22:49:21 · answer #4 · answered by miamigirl_6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesnt hurt to ask him well baybe for you cause your only 16 to him 4 years might be a big deal. When your 20 you'll see the difference.
2007-03-13 02:43:37 · answer #5 · answered by violet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm 4 years apart from my bf. He is older than I am. It sounds like you had a blast with this guy and there is no harm in trying to find happiness and harmony in life. Go for it.
2007-03-05 22:21:20 · answer #6 · answered by Emily 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you asking what other people think? You are very close to being 18 and your own woman. Do what YOU consider to be correct because YOU will reap the consequences or reward.
2007-03-11 13:55:39 · answer #7 · answered by Tony A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a bad thing to do but, today I bet most 20 yr old guys are used to getting it, so may expect it.
You will know if he was just being "nice" if he calls you.
2007-03-12 08:28:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
these has happend to me once but as long as some other really old creepy looking guy doesnt get ur message
2007-03-13 20:48:34 · answer #9 · answered by chock crack-head 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are mature enough to have a date or two =) go for it.. be safe.. and have a great time.
2007-03-05 22:29:46 · answer #10 · answered by Sorcha 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋