Should I stay or should I go?

Question

Ok. My husband and I have a 7 month old baby. My baby and I live roughly two states away from my husband. My husband is in the military and he would like us to live over there but he is not forcing me to. I live with my parents here because school is cheap and all my family is here. Now I know I could probably go to school where my husband lives and get financial aid but who would watch my son? Daycare? and what about family? we would have no other family in that state except each other. I visited my husband two weeks ago and I felt so bad leaving him behind. I wanted to be with him so badly. I feel like if i leave my house my parents won't see their grandson and they would be heartbroken because they love his so much. and what would i do when my husband has to go on training and stuff for months? as a wife, should i move up there? i need help making a decision. i need some feedback. thanks.

Answer 1

Your place is with your husband. When he goes on training, try to make trips home to see your family, what about your husband missing his child? Maturity is what needs to happen here, you married your husband, it's time to accept what that entails for your life.

Answer 2

It sounds like you have a great husband! You and him should discuss this together. I myself say go where you're husband is, your baby needs his father, and you do too. You say your parents would be heartbroken if you left with the baby, but think about how your husband feels being away from his wife and child. I know your parents would be sad to see you go, I have been through this before myself as a parent, but unless he's in the Navy and is going to be out to Sea for a while, I say the best thing is to be a family. Your parents will miss you but they will find something to occupy their time with. When my daughter got out on her own after she graduated, we missed her and the baby terribly, but my husband says now that he is so glad that we had that time together to kinda reconnect after getting our daughter through school and out on her own. she now has three kids and our free time is now abssorbed with babysitting, which we don't mind, but we have very little time for ourselves now. Your Parents may thank you in the end. You can call them often and it won't be the same as being there but it makes you appreciate each other more each time you come home for a visit, and remember, that this isn't forever it's just temporary.

Answer 3

well, i have friends that there husbands deploy for 6 to 8 months at a time. But, they have made new friends on the base and do just fine. If your husband is on a base somewhere you probably have day care there and anything you need.
I understand your family will miss you and your son, but what about the baby growing up knowing his father. Seems to me that when he goes to camps or what ever you could visit your family.
You and your husband can make friends together. You and your husband and baby are suppose to be a family...
that's what I think...Probably not what you wanted to hear. If you don't go be with your husband he probably wont be that forever...
If you get what I mean..

Answer 4

I feel that you should to be with your husband with your child. You are married for goodness sakes and you should dwell and be with your husband if at all possible. Daycare is an option if you want to go to school and to work. I think your husband may be heartbroken here because he does not see much of you or his son. You can send pics to your family and call them regurally and let them talk to him on the phone. You could go visit them here and there with your husband maybe once or twice a year or so. This way you can still see your family here and there with your son. You really need to be a wife and your son needs to be with his daddy as well and he needs mommy and daddy together in the same house for stability and love. Good luck to you. I hope you do the right thing here for you and for your son.

Answer 5

Your husband and child are your family now. I can understand your concerns and apprehensions, but it's time to come out from your family's safety net. Your husband is missing out on all the day-to-day milestone's your baby is making, and he'll never get that back. Your husband has to be first in this, no matter how scary things may seem. You can always visit your parents or have them visit. I'm sure their support will always be available to you.

Answer 6

Now you married this man, and you promised to be by him no matter what, so you should be by his side, and his son should be near his father while he is still in the states. You took that oath, your parents will understand because they have their own union. And if your husband goes off to tour you stay put and wait for him. That is the oath you took, but then again this is my opinion, but I really think your husband is hurting more than anyone else, plus you should be thankful you have a husband who is providing a better life for his family.

Answer 7

Your husband and your child are your family. You married him and need to let go of your parents. Did you know that he was military when you married him? Being married to someone in the military means you have to pack up and move every few years. If you want to make the marriage work you need to cut the apron strings and move to where you husband is. You can do it.

Answer 8

Your husband should be number 1 in your life, not your parents. I understand your concerns but your place is with your husband. My husband used to be in the military as well so I understand your concerns. It's time to grow up and put your priorities in proper order.

Answer 9

Tough question...I can only say this is ultimately a decision only you and your husband can answer...I personally can understand your situation and unless his is a career move...he is currently doing his duty to our country and will return home when his duty is completed, however, if this is a career move, your place is with him...good luck.

Answer 10

good song that - should I stay or should I go....
goodness me, you have a hubby and baby and live at home with your parents and still go to school....... ..... what do your parents think, by the way depends on how old you are...