As of the past year or so, I know I am quite capable of being attracted to girls, sexually, even. Up until a year ago (I am 19), I operated on the assumption that I was straight (I'm not sure why, looking back), but I very rarely had 'crushes' on guys that were anything other than something I could have invented for myself. I know I think guys can be attractive, but I'm more and more wondering if this is simply the same thing as the type of 'girl crush' where you admire somebody and want to be close to them, but feel nothing sexually for them- I simply can't tell at this point. Has anybody been in a similar situation? How did they finally find out, and how can one find out without 'experimenting' (which could be unfair to the experimentees)? It should be noted that I am embarrassingly inexperienced with both genders.
2007-03-05 13:46:26 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
this is a common feeling with teenagers......don't worry about
it too much, it will eventually become very clear what
sexual preference you lean towards....
Being inexperienced as you put it should NOT be embarrassing.
take you're time about this and when you fall in love you will know it....
2007-03-05 13:51:32 · answer #1 · answered by isageegee 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am having the same problem. I see all your points. If you don't see why girls go crazy over guys and feel no attraction to them then you are probably lesbian. If you feel attraction to both then you are bisexual. Try picturing yourself kissing a girl...if it doesn't weird you out then you are probably attracted to girls. You are 19. You still have time to decide this stuff. I am 18 and just as inexperienced as you are. I did stupid stuff when I was younger with guys but I am still a virgin. Live your life and make friends. Don't worry about labeling yourself. If you fall in love with a girl then so be it...if its a guy...then great. As cliche as this sounds...follow your heart. Fall in love with the person...not the gender.
2007-03-05 21:58:43 · answer #2 · answered by charmedp4forever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can sum it up in one word: experimentation.
when i was in hs i was attracted to both sexes. i had experiences with both.. and i decided i enjoyed sex with females, but i'd rather have a long term relationship with a male. i'm happily married and haven't had sexual contact with females in over 4 years.
just experiment.. its okay.. you'll be fine... you'll figure it out.....
and don't let anyone tell you what is right or wrong or what you should feel, okay?
and don't feel embarrased about feeling inexperienced.. thats nothing to be ashamed of. in fact, its smart. at 19, you don't need to be super experienced. my best friend had her first boyfriend at nineteen.
i sadly, was raped at 15, and ended up deciding oh eff it i'll just screw everyone, and in a matter of 1 1/2 yrs had sex with over 20 men.. and i'm not sure how many females.
i'm 20 now, and have been with the same man for over 3 years. after my year and a half spree.. i was abstinent.. and then i met my now husband... and i like it a lot more with him... and i wish i wouldn't have been so experienced when i met him.... i felt kinda bad for not saving it for him
but thats not to say stay a virgin... its all a personal thing
sorry.. i'm going on a long tangent.. if you are still reading this, you rock.. anyhow, you'll find whats right for you. give it time.. don't worry too much about how or when.. it'll happen
2007-03-05 21:53:39 · answer #3 · answered by MnKLmT 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but I really do think the only way to find out is through experimentation and time. Date some girls, date some guys. If you feel unsure about dating on gender maybe you can find one of your friends you feel very comfortable with, talk about it, and go from there. Many ppl go through this. I was luck enough to have a friend who was also curious and sexuality, which was great. We learned and explored together. You will never know until you try.
2007-03-05 21:52:01 · answer #4 · answered by lysistrata411 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sexual orientation is a state of mind. you don't have to experiment in order to prove anything to yourself.
if you think you are a lesbian, then try to seek out other lesbians to become friends with, and maybe something romantic will develop with them when the time is right.
if you are questioning your own sexuality and think you should have been born a male, then some sessions with a gender therapist can help you decide whether or not to pursue a sex change/correction.
don't be embarassed about not having sexual experience. there is nothing wrong with that at all, in fact i think it is awesome. don't just get sexual to prove a point to yourself or others.. wait until you know you are in love and it will be well worth the wait!
2007-03-05 22:00:16 · answer #5 · answered by Jeff 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are talking about my life. Growing up, I tried to follow the norms of my friends. I had relationships with boys, but nothing ever seemed right. I thought the goal was to find a nice boy, settle down, and have babies. Thats what all my girl friends were doing. It just never worked for me. I would alway catch my self dreaming about a fantasy girl. No matter how hard I tried to shake it.......it wouldn't let go. I started hanging out with a gay guy I met, and things started to look up.......UNTIL BOOM I woke up. It was earthshattering.......I knew who I was, and I was gay!
Once I allowed myself that acceptance, it was like taking of a pair of shoes that I had been wearing that were way to tight. I don't know if this helps you, but just remember to stay true to yourself and your happiness. Your are the one that matters.
2007-03-05 22:00:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be totally frank with you, if you are seriously debating your own sexuality, it is most likely because you know what the answer is and you cannot acknowledge it or have reservations that are making you second-guess yourself. Very very few straight people ever -seriously- lose sleep over the idea they may be gay, it's not really something that you question unless the tendency is within you.
2007-03-05 22:10:40 · answer #7 · answered by lordwashu13 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dun see any reason why u need to "experiment" and find out, live ur life as u please, there is no right or wrong, you may or may not grow out of this, most importantly is to do what you think would give you the best satisfaction (at no expense of others) and not regret these years when u look back in future,
2007-03-05 21:50:49 · answer #8 · answered by vinson6316 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps that's all it is,curiosity and inexperience. I myself didn't act on being bi until I was 35. I experimented,heck the internet's wonderful for that,lol. As long as you make your intentions clear,you're all consenting adults,and safe about it,then why not?
2007-03-05 22:07:58 · answer #9 · answered by dragonfly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the risk of being indelicate, when you "entertain yourself in private", do you think of other girls, lads or both?
Does either gender "get you going" so to speak.
Ignoring all the other ways of analyzing this, it surely can come down to somethnig as simple as "what floats your boat" ?
Mark
2007-03-05 21:50:32 · answer #10 · answered by Mark T 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋